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I Wish A poem by me that I wrote 5 mins ago

#1   Mallick 

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    Posted 27 July 2004 - 01:15 PM

    This a poem I wrote in about 3 minutes but.................

    I Wish
    I wish there was a land without sorrow,where everyone is happy about tomorrow.
    If there was land that had no beer,no drugs,and no weapons,would that really be a better world?
    If there was this land,there was this place,maybe once more a smile could be on my face.

    I wish people could not worry about will we eat tomorrow,where everyone one is rich in heart and soul and sharing wouldn't take a toll.
    if everyone would be like that we wouldn't have war on Iraq,we wouldn't have war at all,but sections like that here are very small,
    If this place, this land were true I wouldn't be writing this poem to you.But this place does not exsist,but we all have the wish,
    and if that wish is true,maybe that wish will come true.

    #2   Lightning Star 

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      Posted 03 August 2004 - 12:32 PM

      nice! and also thanks for reviewing on my story...actually i am in the middle of the sequel...i just have a huge writers block (btw...this is an inside thing for all others)

      i liked your poem...it made me think. (not like thats hard but hey!) ^_^ . ne ways, nice job!

      #3   Mallick 

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        Posted 03 August 2004 - 02:07 PM

        I wrote that right after reviewing pain by bearerofkukuimonji and wrote it ^_^

        #4   kate 

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          Posted 03 August 2004 - 09:29 PM

          awesome poem pdm! it made me think too...that made my head hurt :unsure:

          #5   Metalix 

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            Posted 13 August 2004 - 10:53 AM

            thats such a cool poem and i dont even like poems :(

            #6   Mallick 

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              Posted 13 August 2004 - 12:32 PM

              Thank you Lightningstar,Kate,and Metallix,I guess I might have a tiny bit of talent in my head,maybe not

              #7   Amon 

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                Posted 29 August 2004 - 01:53 PM

                Bring on the wishing. ^_^

                Not bad. 8/10

                #8   Linear 

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                  Posted 29 August 2004 - 02:42 PM

                  ^_^ I like the poem. 8.5/10

                  #9   Isaac13 

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                    Posted 29 August 2004 - 04:51 PM

                    That is good. I don't even know how to write poems, but stories I do. That's agood poem.

                    #10   Echo_djinn 

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                      Posted 30 August 2004 - 06:27 PM

                      Good poem. I'd wish for a billion dollars but everyone want something else. :ph34r:

                      #11   Mallick 

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                        • AKA Mallick/PDM/GDUB3000/Sir

                        Posted 30 August 2004 - 06:34 PM

                        Isaac13, on Aug 29 2004, 06:51 PM, said:

                        That is good. I don't even know how to write poems, but stories I do. That's agood poem.

                        I don't know how to write poems either.I wish I could though (oops another wish).That poem was just me sitting down using note pad and thinking a bit


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