[Mystic]

I have a story. If you want to hear it, just ask. It's a pretty long story. It's about going to a different planet.

[Mallick]

hmmmmm sounds good....I guess :blink: jk sounds good!
EDIT: want some help with the forums?

[Valistrix]

Ok then i'll listen to your story Mystic

[Kuraikitsune]

I'll read it! Just go ahead and start when you're ready. :(

[Mystic]

Ok, first, the background. It is about Issac and co. if they got their powers from being on a different planet... Issac doesnt have his powers because he is young and before mt aleph blew. Issac meets mia later, but at the end of the story, they all are made to forget what happen to them on their quest. He doesnt meet ivan, because he is too young. Garet has always been his friend, so he will be here. Here we go!



Part 1


Issac was walking to kraden's house one day to learn more about the past when alchemy was all around. Usually, kraden went on talking forever, so he decided to bide his time. Issac started walking slowly. He came to a small shop. He saw a strange looking guy, standing up against the wall, mumbling to himself. Issac approached him.
"Excuse me," said Issac, "but what are you mumbing about?" The guy looked up at him.
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, GET LOST, NOSEY!" yelled the guy.
"Fine, I just asked..." said Issac as he walked away. The guy continued on mumbling to himself.

After his long session with Kraden, Issac headed straight for Garet's house. He wanted to get there quick, so he started running. When he got there, he heard some yelling withing garet's house. Issac ran inside the house. He saw that strange looking guy holding garet up by his collar.
"Give me the coins that you owe me!" ordered the guy.
"I cant, I need them! I'll pay you double the next time I see you!" said garet, shaking with fear.
"I dont care about you, give me my coins!"
"Let him go!" yelled Issac. The guy looked at him.
"You again, nosey. What do you want this time?" said the guy.
"Let him go!" he repeated.
"No, what are you going to do about it? Im doing business!" said the guy.
"I dont care about you, let him go!" ordered Issac. Now the guy got mad.
"That's it, you mock me, and order me out of my business. Now, you're gettin' it!" The guy came at Issac and knocked him flat with a blow to the chest. The guy kicked him in the head. Issac started bleeding from the forehead. The guy stood there, "I hope you learned your lesson. Oh, also, you cant hope to beat the best species in the universe! You!" he pointed to garet, "I expect triple, the next time we meet!" They guy vanished.
"W-who was that... ouch!" Issac felt his forehead.
"Here, let's bring you to kraden, he'll know what to do with your head," said garet, "And about that guy, his name is Chamelee, he is ruthless. He was about to kill me if I didnt pay him. It's a good thing you came. Let's go."
"Alright," said Issac as they both headed for kraden's house.

End of part 1


There, how was that? I came up with a different story than this, but the storyline was almost exact. I just transfered it to goldensun. I like it. Ill continue later, just after I see if people like it. And be truthful, if you dont like it, tell me, Im not hurt at all by insults, I just want to know how you like it. If anything, you could rate it from 1-10.


-Mystic-

[Kuraikitsune]

Interesting, so far... seeing Garet in a life-or-death situation never ceases to make me smile. -_- (I'm not much of a Garet fan.) Nice way to start out the story. Keep going. 8/10

[Mystic]

Im not much of a garet fan either, Im more of a felix, issac, ivan, mia fan. (which is my party in golden sun the lost age).

[Nino]

Pretty good....

Garet and Isaac could actually together beat this guy up, they must be about 12-15 or something and why dont you include Ivan?

Side fact: Atleast ONE of Garets family members are usually home :blink:

Maybe they were shopping or something...

EDIT:6.5/10

[Mystic]

I dont include Ivan because in goldensun the game, he is 15... I guess he could but that would mean he would have to be a little 9 year old... I dont know, what do you guys suggest?

[Nino]

Your probably right

By the way check out my story at Twisted Story

[Mystic]

Ill post more of my story on tuesday. Until then...

[Nino]

ooh more stories..

[Linear]

*takes out a bag of popcorn* Bring on the stories. *eats popcorn*

[Nino]

Hey linear share some... :blink:

[Linear]

I'll share some until a story comes up.

[Nino]

Oooow.

Popcorn.... hope you didnt made it in Gimlis micro-wave


the one theyre blowing up!

[Linear]

No, this was made before the microwave was exploded.

[gsninja]

Can I have some popcorn Lin? <_<

[Linear]

I was going to save it when a story comes up. =S

[gsninja]

OK. *waits patiently for popcorn*

[Mystic]

Ok, I couldnt wait for tuesday, so im just going to have to try to do this off the top of my head...



Noone Planet


Part ll


"Oh, my, that's a terrible head injury you have, issac," said kraden.
"It's not that bad, it's just bleeding a little bit..." said issac rubbing around the cut on his head.
"Oh, sorry," kraden puts on his glasses,"there." Kraden grabs a band-aid and puts it on issac's head.
"why didnt I think of that? Well, thank you anyway, kraden..." said garet.
"No problem, come back later kids!" yelled kraden as issac and garet left kradens house.
"So, what do you want to do now?" asked garet.
"I dont know, we cant go back home yet, that guy, chamelee might be there," said issac, " I saw him right before I got to your house, about 5 minutes before..."
"Really? That's about how long he was at my house!" said garet.
"How is that possible? He would have had to flown there to get there that fast,"said issac, scratching his head, "there is something wierd about that guy, and Im not sure if I want to find out what." Before he knew it, he saw Garet running back to his house.
"Garet! Where are you going?" yelled Issac.
"I dont know about you, but I do want to find out," he yelled back. Issac started running after him. Suddenly, something black appeared under garet's feet.
"what the..." yelled garet as he fell into a hole. Issac wasnt paying attention and fell in right after garet.

"Master Chamelee!" asked Gom, chamelee's main servant.
"What? This had better be good!" said chamelee.
"The laser cannon is ready!"
"Perfect, soon, Noone Planet will be at my mercy!"
"Um, one more thing... it takes several days to charge after each attack... sorry, master..." said gom shaking with fear that his master will hurt him.
"Fine, until then, bring in Llednar to guard it, we cant take any risks. If this thing falls into the wrong hands, there might not be a planet to rule anymore..."
"LLEDNAR!" yelled gom. Suddenly, a figure popped out of mid-air and dropped to the ground. One of his eyes were black, completely, and the other had a scar across the outside skin of it. He wore dark clothes and carried 2 curved, sharp blades at his sides.
"Master chamelee, what do you wish of me?" asked Llednar.
"Stay here and guard the laser cannon until it is fully charged, got it. I trust that you can do that, right?" asked chamelee.
"Yes, master... but why guard duty? I expected another assassination mission" said Llednar.
"Yes, but, it makes me kind of sick finding out how you kill your targets. It should be a law against nature. I want you to hold off for a little bit until I get the image of your last victim out of my head... ugh, creepy." Chamelee left the room.
"See you later, Llednar," said gom as he headed out the opposite door, sighing with relief that chamelee didnt hurt him for making the cannon take so long to charge. He was thinking that it wasnt his fault, chamelee wanted him to use a special stone that makes more energy for a laser. So technically, it was chamelee's fault, but gom dares not say that to his face for chamelee will sent Llednar after him.
Llednar sighed, "I hate guard duty, but I get payed too well to quit. I could live off of one week's pay for the rest of my life. How does he get all that money anyway? Oh, well, I wont ask questions as long as I get my money."

It seemed like garet and issac were falling forever. It probably passed 20 minutes. All of a sudden, they felt a sudden rush of heat as it got bright. They were falling from the sky into a dessert land. THUD. They hit the ground.
"NNNNN, where are we," said issac in pain.
"... I have no... Idea. If we fell... from that hight... why arent we... dead? Gugh!" Garet got a sudden rush of pain in his stomach.
"I dont know, but maybe we landed on the other side of the world, It did seem like we did."
"I doubt that, I know the 2 deserts on our planet, and this looks nothing like any of them." Garet stood up, suddenly feeling better. Issac followed.
"Since when did you learn about are deserts?" asked Issac.
"I read them in a book..." said garet. Issac broke out in laughter.
"Right! You, reading, now that's funny! Ha ha ha!"
"Oh, shut up, Issac! Im serious!" said garet. Issac forced himself to stop laughing.
"Sorry, come on, lets see if we can find any place with people around here."
"Ok, it doesnt look like one is going to show anytime soon, so lets get going now." Issac and garet started walking in an aimless direction.

End of part ll


Next time, in part lll


"You again?!? How did you get here!?!" said chamelee.
"YOU?!? I should be asking that question!" said Issac.
"Oh, garet, remember? YOU STILL OWE ME!" said chamelee.
"Uh, oh." said garet.
"You're not taking his money!" said Issac.
"Oh, yeah! Let's see!" chamelee stared at Issac as if he wanted to beat the crap out of him. Chamelee charged at Issac with blinding speed.



Sooo, any suggestions, questions, anything? A rating?

-Mystic-

[Isaac13]

Whoa! Nice. I like it. Keep posting more stories. You might be like me. A master story maker. I'm gonna make a star wars one just as soon as I finish my first chapter. You should see the intro. Hoo... a 8/10

[Mystic]

Ok, lets get started once again!!!

NOONE PLANET
Part lll


"I dont feel so good, Issac..." said garet, "I feel dizzy. Are we close to a town yet?"
silence: "Nope, sorry," said Issac," I dont think one is going to come for about another few hours... and that's just until we SEE one..."
"Are you lying to me!?" Yelled garet.
"NO! Calm down, youre just a little stressed by the heat!"
"Oh, sorry... Hey! I think I see something!" yelled Garet.
"Youre right! I see it too! come on, lets go!" yelled Issac as they ran off towards the place they saw.

Meanwhile, at the town Issac and garet saw...

BOOM! A building came tumbling down. The towns people went crazy as they all were running for a safe place.
"Ha! There's nowhere to run! Ha ha ha ha!" yelled chamelee. Chamelee shot a blast of a yellow energy-looking thing at a building. BOOM as another building collapsed.
"Master!" yelled gom, "why are you doing this when you have the laser cannon?"
"I have to do something while that thing charges... anyway, Im just trying to strike fear into these pathetic noones..."
"Oh, ok..." said gom.
"Eh, Im bored... lets go... maybe that piece of crap of yours is ready to fire..." said chamelee.

"Uhg... Im so bored... man, this thing takes long to charge..." said Llednar. All of a sudden, there was a flash of light, and a figure appeared.
"You! That cannon is coming with me!" said the figure. Llednar stood up.
"Finally! Some action!" Llednar dissappeared and reappeared behind the figure with absolute speed and sliced the figures throat. Then llednar stabbed him in the back and sliced up through his head. Instead of falling to the ground dead, the figure dissappeared.
"Hmmm. why do people just dissappear when I kill them instead of dying...?" said llednar. All of a sudden, there was a BING sound as the cannon started glowing green. Chamelee and gom game through the door.
"Perfect! It's ready! Hold on one second! I have to go back to that poor town and get something I dropped," said chamelee as he dissappeared.
"He wont be long,"said gom, "he'll be back real soon."
"good," said Llednar," I cant wait any longer..."

"Ah, there we go..." said chamelee as he picked up a green stone"... perfect!"
"Hey!"yelled a voice, "can you help us?" chamelee turned around, to see 2 people running toward him. chamelee started walking in the other direction, waiting until they arrived. The 2 people caught up, it was Issac and garet. chamelee turned around.
"You again?!? How did you get here!?!" said chamelee.
"YOU?!? I should be asking that question!" said Issac.
"Oh, garet, remember? YOU STILL OWE ME!" said chamelee.
"Uh, oh." said garet.
"You're not taking his money!" said Issac.
"Oh, yeah! Let's see!" chamelee stared at Issac as if he wanted to beat the crap out of him. Chamelee charged at Issac with blinding speed. Issac jumped out of the way as fast as he could, but still got clipped by chamelee. A big, red sore appeared on his back.
"Ouch!" yelled Issac.
"you're pretty fast, nosey... how did you get here anyway? Only I know the secret way to get here!" said chamelee.
"We got here by accident!" said garet.
"either way, you DONT belong here!!!" yelled chamelee, "Unfortunately, I have a planet to destroy... so I cant stick around... see you later, nosey. Oh, and youll pay next time, and not just money..." chamelee vanished.
"Ok, that was wierd," said Issac. Both of them stared upon the wrecked town. They walked into it finding one building remaining.


End of part lll

Im sorry I couldnt write much, I dont have much time... Ill try to write extra next time. *time to sleep in my next class...zzzzzzz* :P

Im really sorry, but, I am going to cease to write this story. It has gotten too boring for me. I liked my original story before I transfered it to goldensun. Ill get back to you with the more interesting story...