Just A Few Gs Dont Know What To Call Them Just read them!OK
#1
Posted 22 December 2004 - 04:10 PM
Authors note:There is not meant ot be any shippings in here whatsoever.DONT THINK THERE IS!!!!
Isaac:Its us! We are here!
Menardi:To cause havoc!!
Saturos:And kill the shrimp and spiky hair guy!
Isaac:Wait,you two are dead!
Menardi:No we arent
Isaac:Yeah,you are!
Menardi:Are we?
Saturos:I wanna say something!!
Menardi:Tough! Go play gameboy!
Saturos:Fine *Goes off to the corner, puts on dunce hat, and plays gameboy*
Jenna:Thank god Karst & Agatio arent here_theyd kick the "£$%^ out of us
Agatio:You called?
Jenna:Dammit!
Karst:I wanna say somthing too!!
Ivan:Who wants to come to my dance club?
Everyone:NOT US
Sheba: ME!!
Ivan:Sheba, was that a compliment? What are you on?
Sheba: *fuming* I'll pretend I didnt hear that,Ivan,I just complimented you.
Ivan:Sorry,too much sugar.
Piers:RRAARRGHH!
Sheba: Dammit, Piers, dont do that.
Piers:Sorry!How can I make it up to you?
Felix:TELL US YOUR AGE!!
Piers:MAKE ME!!!!!
Garet: Dont bother,felix, he aint gonna tell ya
Felix:Dammit!
Mia:HELLO? AM I ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING?
Garet: DONT THINK ALL OF WEYARD HEARD ALL OF THAT,MIA
Mia:Shut it, Garet
Karst:Agatio? Do you get the feeling that we are being left out?
Agatio:Yeah,I do.Lets leave.
Ivan: *pretends to cry* Why-oh-why-oh-why is nobody coming to my club!Im closing it!
Everyone:YAY!!
Sheba:*Belives Ivan is crying*There,there Ivan.Its ok.
Ivan:* To himself* Yes! 2nd compliment from Sheba today :unsure:
Sheba:Da end!!
Saturos:No,no its not,I havent fin...
Sheba:Yes,we have
Done.Did you like it? It was awful,wasnt it.Tell me if you liked it.Next one.Inspired by Garets kitchen and adepts refuge.More violence too :wacko: .Oh and christmas themed.
Isaac: All right,who has the turkey
Mia:Garet had it last,I think.Why do you want it?
Garet:DAMN TURKEY!!
Isaac:So you are telling me Garet cant stuff a turkey?
Mia:Yep!It shows how consistant he is.
Garet:*trys to stay calm* I'll kill you Mia,just wait till tomorow
Ivan:Who's for a dance at my club,re opened for xmas.
Everyone:NO!!
Sheba:Hang on.Do we even celebrate xmas?Wait!I sound like jon.OH GOD I SOUND LIKE JON OHHH THE HUMILITY!!!!
Piers:Whos jon,sheba.
Sheba:*is angry now*Why do you care,ship boy?
Piers:Hey, I was only asking!And dont call me ship boy!!
Sheba:*Still angry* Oh yeah,what are you gonna do ship boy?
Piers:THIS! * casts freeze prism*
Sheba:*Is frozen* OW!
Jenna:How 'bout you two stop psynergying each other and get wrapping!
Garet:Wrap what?
Jenna:The presents,Garet
Garet:What,we have to wrap them?
Jenna:Uh hu!
Garet:*Shouts out something incredibly rude,so rude that I cant mention it*
Felix:Look,stop fighting cos we want a HAPPY christmas,dont we.
Isaac:*Snorts*Felix?Said that?And to think of all the mosters he killed.
Felix:Sorry Isaac, my darksword didnt hear that.
Isaac:* Is in battle with Felix* My sol blade has been itching for this.
Ivan:Apart from this,I have only said 1 line.Unfair.
Jenna:Well you never did say much anyway,ivan
Ivan: *is annoyed* *casts spark plasma on jenna*
Jenna: No wonder....he loves psynergy so much
Ivan:Shut up jenna,I can cast it again if you you want.
Jenna: *shuts up*
Piers:Hey,Im the only one not KOed or fighting,so I finish this off!!
HAPPY XMAS! ! ! !
There,did it.So waddya think?Were they good?Tell me please.I did them ages ago so they are rubbish but R&R
#2
Posted 22 December 2004 - 04:33 PM
Oh yeah, and I don't read script fanfics.
~MOVED~
#3
Posted 22 December 2004 - 06:19 PM
#4
Posted 22 December 2004 - 06:27 PM
#6
Posted 22 December 2004 - 10:12 PM
Spaces are your friend. Such as:
Sheba: Insert random things Sheba might be saying.
Space after the colin. Please. It makes it easier to read.
Names of people are always capitalized. That was bothering me all the way through. Also, reading up on the use of commas would be good.
For story stuff, there were entertaining parts in this. However it jumped around a lot. If you insist on changing subjects try to do it gradually or at least try to link it to what they had been talking about two seconds before.
I have nothing against script form. It's just difficult to do properly and well. I've only seen two people actually do so.
#7
Posted 25 December 2004 - 12:33 AM
id rate it:
1st story) uhhh... mabey a 9.3
2nd story) hmmmm..... uhhhhhh....um........huuuuuu......mabey a 9.5
#8
Posted 30 December 2004 - 09:15 PM
Nonsensical, on Dec 23 2004, 12:12 AM, said:
I have been saying stuff like that to him since he came. You'd think he'd at least put spaces after punctuation marks!
Anyways, no offence, but corny stuff, also, there's a topic here where you put your script things for GS.
#9
Posted 30 December 2004 - 10:56 PM
#10
Posted 31 December 2004 - 03:50 AM
That was funny. n.n
#11
Posted 31 December 2004 - 08:21 AM
#13
Posted 31 December 2004 - 04:05 PM
Ivan is my name, on Dec 31 2004, 10:21 AM, said:
I don't see anyone here flaming you.
If you didn't expect criticism to your work, you shouldn't have posted your stuff.
Anyways, if they were more, proper, they'd be alright.
#14
Posted 01 January 2005 - 05:26 AM
#17
Posted 02 January 2005 - 08:26 AM
Some people think Isaac is shy,while other think he is not.