Golden Sun Syndicate Forums: Golden Sun Syndicate Forums

Jump to content

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Golden Sun: A Comedic Spoof By Koleo Rated PG

#1   Koleo 

  • New User
    • Group: Members
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 11-October 04

      Posted 28 March 2006 - 06:36 PM

    Alrighty. Attempting to make a comedic spoof of Golden Sun. I rate it PG for certain scenes and language and stuff. Sorry about it, especially if it's not aloud. Anyway, Enjoy.

    Part 1 ~ Mystery of Sol Sactum

    Dora: "Isaac! Get the hell up! We're gonna die!"
    Isaac: (Wakes up in surprise and falls off the bed.)
    Dora: "Wait! You forgot something!" (Uses a strange power and grabs a tunic. It falls on Isaac's head.) "You can't go out without your tunic! It's pouring! You'll get the phenomia! Stop being so stupid!"
    Isaac: (Groans and gets up, putting on the tunic.)
    Dora: "Alright. Did you get everything?"
    Isaac: "I don't think so-"
    Dora: "SHUT UP! You're not supposed to talk!"
    Isaac: "Why not?"
    Dora: "It's one of those RPG's where the main character only makes facial expressions and stuff!"
    Isaac: "That's stupid!"
    Dora: "SHUT UP!!! And I don't care if you forgot your Gameboy Advance or anything!"
    Isaac: "We wasted 45,000 coins on that thing!"
    (Dora starts to turn red, but then cools down.)
    Dora: "Whatever...let's just go!"
    (As they head down the stairs, Isaac raises a eyebrow.)
    Isaac: "Uh...why are we going to die anyway?"
    Dora: "HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THE NEWS!? A Mt. Aleph boulder is crashing down!"
    Isaac: "It's only the size of a house...how can it destory the whole town and everything?"
    Dora: "STOP TALKING!!!"
    (The two then continue downstairs. A man walks in through the door.)
    ???: Oh my god, Dora! The boulder is getting closer!"
    Dora: "Kyle! Are the healers alright?"
    Kyle: (Saracasticly) "Noooo! They're only running out of psyenergy and can't hold the damn thing any longer!"
    Dora: "Oh...well, do you think they can hold long enough to allow the other's to the plaza?"
    Kyle: "I DON'T KNOW, AND I DON'T CARE! Because of this stupid thing, the transportation stations closed down and I'm late for my vacation to Kalay!"
    Dora: "Who cares!? Let's get out of this house!"
    (Kyle grumbles about random stuff.)
    Kyle: "Now. Do you two know the way to the plaza?"
    Dora: "I think so. But I'm sure Isaac can handle himself! I want to help you!"
    Isaac: "No I don't! I can't even find Jenna's hou-"
    Dora: "SHUT UP!"
    Isaac: "..."
    Kyle: "Well...just remind him the way."
    Dora: "Go to a red door. You need the blue key. Then you get the blue key and use it on the blue door. In there is a yellow door and needs the red key. Find the red key in the mini-boss room and kill the mini-boss. Then you get the red key and use it on the red door. Then there's the yellow key, you use it on the yellow door, and then you'll make it to the Yiddish Cup!"
    (Isaac raises an eyebrow.)
    Dora: "So in simple words, just keep heading south."
    Isaac: "Why didn't you say that in the first place then-"
    Dora: "STOP TALKING! You're breaking the law of RPG's!"
    Isaac: "..."
    (The three leave the house. Kyle and Dora head up north. Isaac walks to Garet's house. He sees Garet pulling a big box of his stuff.)
    Garet: "Isaac! What'd ya want? I need to save my stuff!"
    Isaac: "Tell me about it! I had to abandon my Gameboy Advan-"
    Garet: "HEY! You're breaking the law of RPG's! Stop talking!"
    Isaac: "..."
    Garet: "Anyway, you're right. I should just leave my stuff. My life is more important!"
    Isaac: "I never sai-"
    Garet: "SHUT UP!"
    Isaac: "...Y'know, those words were used so much, it already lost it's meaning."
    Narrator: GARET JOINS THE PARTY!!!
    Isaac: "Who the hell are you?"
    Narrator: "I'm the Narrator. But you can just call me Mr. N. Or Narra."
    Isaac: "Narra sounds like a girls name."
    Narrator: "...well, maybe I AM a girl!"
    Isaac: "...whatever."

    (Isaac and Garet walk through a bridge until they felt a tremor. They look up north.)
    Garet: "Oh my god, the boulder is falling!"
    (On the mountain, healers were using Psynergy to block the boulder.)
    Healer 1: "Jeez! We need more Psynergy, or Vale will be destroyed!"
    (Behind is a man in blue and a girl in red. They run to the boulder.)
    ??? 1: (Pulls the boulder) "God, this crap is heavy!"
    ??? 2: "Heh. Those losers must think they're powers are keeping this boulder away."
    ??? 1: "Heh. I know. After this, I'm so quitting!"
    ??? 2: "Here, here. Heheh...those jerks back there."
    (Back to the front. A Healer turns to Isaac and Garet.)
    Healer 2: "Keep going, boys! The plaza is just a little down further!"
    Isaac: "It is? We barely walked."
    Garet: "Isaac! Shut up and stop talking!"
    Isaac: "..."
    (The two head further down. They look at a house at the top of a cliff. A boulder blocks the way.)
    Isaac: "Haha, old man Kraden is stuck in his house up there."
    Garet: "Or he made it out."
    Isaac: "Even so, he sucks."
    Garet: "That made no sense!"
    Isaac: "Shut up."
    Garet: "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING, SO YOU SHUT UP!"
    Isaac: "..."
    (They find a man on the ground beside a boulder that broke a fence. He seems badly wounded.)
    Man: "Ow...I'm badly hurt..."
    (Isaac walks up to him.)
    Man: "I'm hurt pretty bad...am I going to die?"
    Isaac: "Yes."
    Man: "What!? I am!? Oh my god, this is horrible! The monsters are out and I'm gonna die! *Deep breath* STEEEELLAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
    (Isaac's ears shake. He covers them and runs away, Garet following him.)
    Garet: "Monsters? Who believes in those stupid stories?"
    Isaac: "You. Remember the night when you were reading ghost stories and then you jumped and tossed the book to your sisters head and you wet your pants and your sister was pissed and she smacked you with the book and you believed in monsters ever since then?"
    Garet: "... ... ...SHUT UP!!!"

    (Meanwhile, Dora, Kyle, Jenna and her parents are at a dock of some kind.
    Jenna's Dad: "Felix! Hang on! We'll save you!"
    (A kid is in a river. He hangs on a pole, but sinks to the water.)
    Jenna: "NOOO! Felix!!!"
    (Jenna hugs her mom hard. But Felix pops back out of the water. Everyone is surprised. Kyle grabs a rope and tosses it.)
    Felix: (Rope hits him.) Ow! What the hell!" (Sinks again.)
    Jenna's Dad: "Well, there goes the rope. Anyone have any Psynergy left?"
    Jenna's Mom: "Nope."
    Dora: "Not at all."
    Kyle: "I'm drained from helping the villagers."
    Jenna: "What the hell is Psynergy?"
    Jenna's Mom: "It's just powers mommy's and daddy's use. You'll understand when you grow older."
    Jenna's Dad: "...We need to get help!"
    Dora: "Will Felix be able to hold on long enough?"
    Jenna's Dad: "Got any better ideas?"
    Dora: "DON'T GIVE ME THAT TALK, BUSTER! NOW SHUT UP!"
    Jenna's Dad: "..."
    Jenna's Mom: "Jenna. Go with Dora and help her out."
    Jenna: "What!? Me and that crazy lady!?"
    Dora: "Excuse me!?!"
    Jenna's Mom: "Just go, honey. Mommy's and daddy's don't like getting mad, even if they arn't yours."
    (Dora and Jenna leave the house.)
    Dora: "Alright. I'll go north, and you go south."
    Jenna: "Gotcha. We're looking for someone with enough Psynergy left, right?"
    Dora: (Sarcasticly) "Nooo! We need to find the blue key to go to the green door!"
    (Jenna raises a eyebrow. Then the two start walking off. Dora meets up with Isaac and Garet.)
    Dora: "Isaac! You saw all of that, right?"
    Isaac: "Yes."
    Dora: "Felix will drown if he isn't saved!"
    Isaac: "Yes."
    Dora: "Jenna has gone down to the plaza for help."
    Isaac: "Yes."
    Dora: "...You don't suppose...could you help us out?"
    Isaac: "No."
    Dora: "WELL, TOO BAD!!!"
    (Garet's head explodes from the shout, but then regrows.)
    Isaac: "Eew! You got your brain on my shirt!"
    Garet: "Boohoo!"

    Narrator: "Isaac and Garet finally made it to the plaza. They meet up with Jenna and Garet's Grandpa, who is the mayor of town."
    Mayor: "Oh, Garet! Isaac! Have you come down to help Jenna, too?"
    Isaac: "As long as Jenna's involve, I'm happy."
    (Jenna roles her eyes.)
    Mayor: "Good boys. Now, we still need to find help. Could you help us out?"
    Dude: "Okay! I'm ready!"
    (The three jump and turn to a guy at the town's Pysnergy stone. He jumps off and lands next to the group.)
    Mayor: "How are you? Did you replinish your Psynergy?"
    Dude: "Well...I was at the stone, so I think so. Maybe...do I know?"
    Jenna: "Idiots..."
    Mayor: "Well, anyway. Isaac, you came here, right? There're many fallen boulders through the paths. Could you show Jenna through?"
    Jenna: (Leans to Isaac with cute puppy eyes.) "Puh-leeez, Isaac?"
    Isaac: "Mmmm..."
    Jenna: (Backs away from him and grunts.)

    Narrator: "The group make it back to a bridge near Jenna's house."
    Jenna: "Mom! Dad! I'm back!"
    (Dora walks up to the bridge.)
    Dora: "Jenna! How did your search go?"
    (The dude steps foward and nods his head.)
    Jenna: (Worried) "How's my brother doing?"
    Dora: "Felix is hanging in there. Let's hurry!"
    (The group were about to walk down, but then a huge tremor shakes.)
    Narrator: "Oh my god! The boulder starts to fall! In slow motion scenes, the boulder falls to Kyle and Jenna's parents and Felix's fate! And boom! They dissappear.
    Jenna: "Oh my god...Mom, Dad, Felix...Don't leave me alone!
    (Isaac shrugs and walks off.)
    Garet: "Aw, great! There he goes again." (Follows)

    ??? 1: "We're the only two that survived.
    ??? 2: "Who would've known that Mt. Aleph had such power?"
    ??? 1: "It amazes me how we both survived."
    ??? 2: "It must've been a trap set! And we must've triggered it!"
    ??? 1: "...Regardless, we must go back."
    ??? 2: "Yes, we shall surely-"
    Garet: "Isaac!"
    (The two mysterious people jump down to Isaac and Garet.)
    ??? 1: "Were you just eavesdropping our conversation?"
    Isaac: "If it involves Jenna, yeah."
    (The two stare at eachother.)
    Garet: "Isaac...I don't know if we should talk to these people. They look scary."
    ??? 2: "And your face looks funny."
    Isaac: (Laughing like crazy. Garet looks ticked off.)
    ??? 2: "You must forget EVERYTHING we said."
    ??? 1: "Don't worry...we'll make them forget."

    BATTLE TIME!!!

    Narrator:
    Mysterious man appeared.
    Mysterious woman appeared.

    ??? 1: "Just die, or something! We got a copy of the game and found out we kick your butts at this point."
    Isaac: "Fine." (Drops dead.)

    Narrator: The two mysterious people stare into eachother, nod and hop away like frogs. Isaaca and Garet are unconcious.

    ...So, what did you think? Feel free to comment. More to come!

    #2   Split Infinity 

    • Nebuchadnezzar
    • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
      • Group: Veterans
      • Posts: 11,279
      • Joined: 16-December 05
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:37°48′S, 144°57′E.
      • Interests:.5% per annum.
      • AKA Spam King

      Posted 28 March 2006 - 07:17 PM

      Now this is original. It was funny at the start but then it sort of dulled down. I think you should keep going.

      #3   Mars Djinni 

      • Master Adept
      • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
        • Group: Members
        • Posts: 3,798
        • Joined: 28-December 04
        • Gender:Male
        • Location:British Columbia, Canada
        • Interests:Martial Arts:<br />- Weapons (Bo staff :D)<br />- Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Filipino styles<br /><br />Video Games: <br />Fire Emblem, Zelda, Megaman, Super Smash Bros., Age of Empires/Mythology, Final Fantasy, etc.<br /><br />Movies, Web Design, Foruming-ing-ing, Sprites and Digital Art, Drawing, Writing, Anime, etc.

        Posted 28 March 2006 - 07:24 PM

        Keep it up. I got my chuckle of the day from that.

        By the way, I took care of the second topic.

        #4   Koleo 

        • New User
          • Group: Members
          • Posts: 13
          • Joined: 11-October 04

          Posted 29 March 2006 - 11:17 AM

          Narrater: "It has been 3 years since the boulder incident. We now join Jenna on her way to Isaac's house. As she walks, she greets some random lady, passes Isaac's house and strolls to Garet's house. Behind, she finds him training on Psynergy."
          Garet: "Hyaaa!" (A stump infront of him moves.)
          Jenna: (Giggles.) You're still working hard on it, arn't you Garet?
          Garet: "No. I just want to crush my sister's flowers to tick her off for the day."
          Jenna: "..."
          Garet: "So, what'dya want?"
          Jenna: "What do you mean, 'what'dya want!?' We need to pick up Isaac and go to Kraden's."
          Garet: "Uh...you just passes his house to see me. Why didn't you pick him up there?"
          Jenna: "Do you want me to slap you!?"
          Garet: (Hides himself behind the stump and speaks in a weak voice) "No."
          Jenna: (Sighs) "Ever since that day of the storm...you and Isaac have been working on Psynergy so hard."
          Garet: "I guess so."
          Jenna: (Turns around.) "I just...want to forget that day. I wish everyone could."
          Garet: "Well, it HAS been 3 years. I already forgot about it."
          Jenna: "...You really know how to spoil a sad moment, do you?"
          Garet: "Ever since me and Isaac ditched you when your parents died."
          Jenna: "WHAT!?!"
          Garet: "I said nothing...please don't hurt me." (Meep!)
          At the same time:
          Well, anyway...we'd better be going to get Isaac. Then head to Kraden's. [Jenna]
          Those mysterious weirdos...who the heck were they, anyway? [Garet]
          Jenna: "Huh?"
          Garet: "I said your dress is sexy."
          Jenna: "I'm not wearing a dress!"
          Garet: "Jeez, can't take a compliment, can you?"
          Jenna: "Just shut up and let's go!"
          Garet: "Jenna...are you mad at me?"
          Jenna: "...Uh...Riiiight." (Starts walking off.)
          Garet: "...Although, you WOULD look sexy with a dress. Maybe a mini!" (Starts drooling.)

          Narrater: Isaac is on his house roof, patching the holes."
          Isaac: "No I'm not. I just want people to think I'm nuts."
          Dora: "STOP TALKING ALREADY!!!"
          Isaac: "..." (Uses random magic to move the wheat and patches the holes on the roof. Does so 3 times.)
          Dora: (Climbs up to the roof and inspects it. She nods.) Good job. Now get off before people DO think you're nuts."
          Isaac: (Rolls eyes.)
          (Jenna and Garet walk to the ladder and climb it to the roof.)
          Garet: "What up, home slice? Wanna go, G?"
          Isaac: "What the hell are you talking about?"
          Garet: "...I just want to be different."
          Jenna: "You are different."
          Garet: "Really?"
          Jenna: "Yeah. You're not as smart as us."
          Garet: "Your words may hurt, but my spirit stays strong!"
          Isaac: "Your spirit sucks."*
          Garet: (Crys and runs around the roof. He falls through a hole.)
          Dora: "Oh, Garet, you idiot. You made the house go on the floor."
          Garet: "Oops...sorry. I'll fix it." (Moves around and falls through another hole.)
          Jenna: "Oh, Garet, you idiot. You made the house go on the floor some more."
          Garet: "Okay, okay. This time I'll be careful." (A loud blareing noise explodes the whole roof.)
          Isaac: "Oh, Kraden, that idiot. He keeps trying to keep up with the times with our blareing music."
          Jenna and Dora: "..."
          Dora: "I'm so mad, I just want to jump off the house!"
          Isaac: "But you're in the house."
          Dora: "SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING!!! Anyway, don't worry about the roof. I'll fix it. What are you doing today anyway?"
          Jenna: "We're going to Kraden's house to study Alchemy."
          Garet: "And learn to pick up chicks."
          Jenna: "Say, WHAT!?"
          Garet: (Hides himself.) "Don't hurt me..."
          Jenna: "ANYWAY...We're planning on going to Mt. Aleph to study!"
          Dora: "Oooh! A little mountain climbing with Mr. Kraden, huh?"
          Garet: "No. We just want to blow it up."
          Dora: "Say, WHAT!?"
          Garet: (Hides again.) "I was kidding..."
          Narrater: GARET AND JENNA JOIN THE PARTY!"

          Narrater: "And so, Isaac and co. head to Kraden's cottage. But before they got there, they encounter a couple talking."
          ??? 1: That stupid old man is more stubborn that we thought."
          ??? 2: "Yes. Apparently he won't tell us about the secret of Sol Sactum."
          ??? 1: "Well...maybe he doesn't know?"
          ??? 2: "Don't be stupid!"
          ??? 1: "How can I when you're stupid?"
          ??? 2: "ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID!?
          ??? 1: "In a way, yes."
          ??? 2: "OH! You make me so mad, I'm going to chuck this rock!" (Throws a rock at Garet, who she didn't see, and hits him in the head. Garet falls to the ground with a huge mark on his face.)
          ??? 2: "Oops. My bad."
          Isaac: "Hey! It's the weirdos from 3 years ago!"
          ??? 1: "Who're you calling weirdos!?"
          Isaac: "Me."
          Garet: (Getting up.) "Damnit, Isaac! Stop talking already!"
          Isaac: (Throws a rock at Garet's face. He falls again.)
          ??? 2: "Were you just eavesdropping on us!?"
          ??? 1: "Calm down, Menardi. So, what do you fools want?"
          Isaac: "OH! So you tell us not to call you weirdos, but then you call us fools! I'm so mad, I could throw this other rock!"
          Garet: "Please don't do it."
          Isaac: (Throws the rock. It hits Garet's face again.)
          Jenna: "All we want to do is see Kraden."
          ??? 1: "That pathetic old geezer? Go ahead and waste your time..."
          ??? 2: "...after we deal with you."
          (The group stays silent. But then ??? 1 shakes his head.)
          ??? 1: "...Go."
          Jenna: "Huh?"
          ??? 1: "Go see Kraden if you want."
          ??? 2: "Saturous, were you drinking again."
          ??? 1: (Hic!) "No...I just..." (Hic!) "Yeah."
          ??? 2: "Bah, whatever. Just go anyway."
          ??? 1: "AH, GOOD LORD! I NEED TO LIE DOWN!!!" (Falls unconcious.)
          Isaac: (Raises a eyebrow and slowly dragging Saturous (??? 1) to a tree, acting innocent.)
          Jenna: "Isaac...what the hell are you doing."
          Isaac: "The red lady doesn't know what she can't see."
          Jenna: (Rolls her eyes and slaps Isaac. They then head to Kraden's house.)
          (The group see him pacing in a circle infront of his door.)
          Kraden: "They seemed to know so much...who are they, anyway? Why do they want it? They're so mysterious...and why did they turn off my music? I was enjoying it. Then again, it might've been too loud..."
          Jenna: "Hey, Kraden!"
          Kraden: "GOOD LORD, THEY'RE AFTER ME AGAIN!" (Throws a rock at Garet. It hits his face and he falls to the ground.)
          Isaac: "Hold it, Pops! It's just us!"
          Kraden: "DAD BLAMED, ISAAC! SHUT UP! You're breaking the law of RPG's! Stop opening that trap of yours!"
          Isaac: "..."
          Jenna: "What were you mumbling about there?"
          Kraden: "Those strange people infront of my house. They seem to know the secret of my Corn Pops club."
          (The group raise their eyebrows.)
          Kraden: "Oh! And they seem to want me to give them info on Sol Sactum. Also known as Mt. Aleph."
          Garet: "Saturous and Menardi were their names, right?"
          Kraden: "I don't know. They were so silent. My hearing aids need to be fixed. You see, I don't have good ears like you youth do."
          Jenna: "Then how can you hear us?"
          Kraden: "WHAT!?"
          Jenna: "..."
          Kraden: "That's better. Got some juice left."
          Isaac: "Juice!? Cool! Can I have Fruit Punch?"
          Jenna: "You're gonna get some punch if you don't shut up! Stop talking already!"
          Isaac: "..."
          Kraden: "Anyway, they actually seem to know about Sol Sactum. But they need to know more, and they came to me. And that storm 3 years ago...they might've been the cause of it."
          Jenna: "Why do you say that?"
          Kraden: "They were talking about some called 'Elemental Stars' and all of that stuff. And they were figuring out the secret to get them."
          Garet: "Then they're thieves! Let's call justice! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! DOOMAGE UPON THEM!!!" (Drools)
          (The group stare at Garet, scared.)
          Kraden: "Anyway. They got my curiosity. We're going to Sol Sactum.
          Jenna: "What!? Isn't it forbidden?"
          Kraden: "First off, we need to find out if they really were after these Elemental Stars. We don't know if they are thieves for sure."
          Garet: "Then, I guess we can go."
          Jenna: (Turning to Isaac) "We won't get in trouble if we don't get caught, right?"
          Isaac: "Why are you asking me? I know nothing."
          Jenna: (Eye twitches)
          Garet: "Yeah. It'll just be our own secret." (To Isaac)
          Isaac: "Why are you guys asking me these stupid questions!?"
          Kraden: "Oh!" (Turns and runs to his house. He runs face-first into his door. Isaac laughs. Jenna slaps Isaac. Kraden went inside and picked up a bag, then went back out.) "Okay! Ready!"
          Garet: "OOH! OOH! What's in the bag!? Candy!?" (Drools.)
          Kraden: (Backing away, scared.)
          Narrater: "And so, our heroes set of to Mt. Aleph to discover if Saturos and Menardi really ARE thieves! Let's find out in the next installment of Golden Sun: The Comedic Spoof! Yaaaay!!!
          Isaac: "You scare me..."
          Jenna: "DAMNIT ISAAC, STOP TALKING!!!"
          Garet: (Head explodes.)

          *That joke was from a brilliant comedy writer who wrote a spoof of the game "Tales of Symphonia."


          Page 1 of 1
          • You cannot start a new topic
          • You cannot reply to this topic