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Poetry From the Blue one

#1   Blue 

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    Posted 11 April 2006 - 02:27 PM

    Did you leave?
    Can you hear me?
    Though the darkness may come
    I can still be your light
    I'll show you the way
    Please don't leave.

    #2   Yuki 

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      Posted 11 April 2006 - 06:23 PM

      Blue...*sniffle* Truly inspriational! *claps* Bravo!

      #3   Aquamarine 

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        Posted 12 April 2006 - 09:49 PM

        That was really... UNinspirational. It was interesting to read a poem by YOU, but I mean... It didn't even rime! And the ending was a bit... silly. You tried at least, but do another one and see how it turns out.

        Sorry about all the flaming, I was just saying the truth... What I think about it.

        #4   Sea of Time 

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          Posted 13 April 2006 - 08:28 AM

          I disagree, Aqua. Poems don't have to rhyme, you should know that, to be effective.

          However, Blue, it was very short and I think you could have made it longer and more descriptive. Just a bit of constructive criticism.

          Hope to see more soon.

          #5   Aquamarine 

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            Posted 14 April 2006 - 10:34 AM

            Quote

            I disagree, Aqua. Poems don't have to rhyme, you should know that, to be effective.


            Yeah, I guess you're right. No offense Blue, I didn't mean anything bad, I just you know... Tried to prod you in the right direction. Though it was probably the wrong direction...

            #6   Blue 

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              Posted 14 April 2006 - 01:38 PM

              I perfer short poetry actually. It better fits me and I don't have to try and spend all my time thinking of the next line. This stuff is just comming to me

              Sun is rising in the sky again
              but whats the point?
              whats the world to me without you
              for you are my world

              #7   Yuki 

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                Posted 14 April 2006 - 02:31 PM

                Blue must have a girlfriend :D

                OoO the secret is out!

                Anyways nice nice nice! Keep it up =)

                The thing with poetry is:
                DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BEHIND WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT IT.

                If they hate it then don't care. If they adore it don't care. Because no matter how great a poem may be, there will be people who will try to poke at it and change it. Kay? =)

                #8   pHantOm 

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                  Posted 14 April 2006 - 05:06 PM

                  View PostLove_Guardian_Yuki, on Apr 14 2006, 04:31 PM, said:

                  Blue must have a girlfriend :D

                  Or a boyfriend.

                  #9   Yuki 

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                    Posted 14 April 2006 - 10:41 PM

                    Aww Phantom, you sound jealous :D heehee

                    #10   Sea of Time 

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                      Posted 15 April 2006 - 07:12 AM

                      I never would've considered poetry without a love interest.

                      So it's a conclusion to me! :D

                      #11   Blue 

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                        Posted 21 April 2006 - 08:39 AM

                        >_<
                        The Blue one is as free as the wind.

                        #12   Sea of Time 

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                          Posted 22 April 2006 - 08:08 PM

                          I think he pretty much just confirmed it right there. :o

                          I'd like to see more, Blue, post more soon!

                          #13   Blue 

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                            Posted 28 April 2006 - 01:38 PM

                            Hey there
                            I see you sitting
                            Looking toward the sun.
                            But for me I'm blind to it
                            Becuase the brightest thing here is you.

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