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[night] My little lit pile I guess. :3

#1   Xelina 

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    • Interests:Anime: Trinity Blood, Bleach, and Samurai Champloo.<br />Manga: Xxx Holic, X/ 1999, and Dragon Knights<br />Game: Final Fantasy VII, .Hack GU, KH II, [b]Tales of the Abyss[/b]<br />---------------------<br />Favorite Characters: Sephiroth, Vincent, Leon/Squall, [b]JADE CURTISS[/b]<br />Favorite Online Game: RO<br />Favorite Colors: Blue, Purple, Black, Green<br />Favoirte Music: J-pop, Rock, Metal, J-rock, Pop.<br />Favorite all time artist: CLAMP<br />Favorite Band: System of a Down<br />Favorite Song: Kiss by a Rose, Sail (sp?)<br />Favorite Food: Chocolate<br />Favorite Word: Pie<br />---------------------<br />Total RPC: 5<br /><br />Names of RPC:<br /><br />Yuki Shadow (F)<br />Fay W. Sabakura (M)<br />Black Cat (F)<br />White Cat (M)<br />Fionn (M)

    Posted 05 April 2007 - 10:55 PM

    Author's Note:

    This was an RPG quest I made about 2 years ago on a forum called GSL, however, it died because of the board delete and I never had the heart to finish it. However, looking back upon it, I believe this is a pretty cool opening and desides to share it with you all. I don't plan on ever finishing it but you'll never know, I might go on with it. But for now, it is a stand alone. Thank you and Please comment on it.

    ~Xelina

    ---------------------------------[Night]---------------------------------------

    The city was truly a beautiful city. Great white building stood in the morning light as the smell of spring was on the air. Children laughing, birds singing, flowers blooming, everything was at it’s fullest. A white city, people called it. A beauty among beauty, others cried. It was a city of great pride and joy. That is what they see on the surface anyway. However, deep down, below it’s skin deep beauty lies death, greed, and lust. Like a ripple in the pond, the black ink sink into the white city as slowly as the sun goes down the horizon. We, the children of night, came out to play. We had divide ourselves into clans. Some of us killed for joy, other for money, and yet others, for other reasons. Either way, the city at night was a living hell, and endless nightmare that would soon repeat itself as the sun goes down. It was never the day, only the night while we will grow. Us, the damned, as they claimed, yet it was them who made us. Them, who think they are gods yet nothing but mere fools. Them, who claim we are the sinned, them, them, them. Selfish, greedy humans who spreads it’s malice intentions through out this world. Corrupting what is pure, drinking in what was not. Humans, selfish humans. Yet we are not much better, us, who has the gift, believe we are above the humans, we are such foolish little children. Running around without love, living day to day as we looking onward to the next night’s kill. However, there was one, that one little light through the endless night. Can it be hope? We dear not think of it, for there was many light in the past, we reach for it, only to have it disappear in front of our eyes. We the damned, the experimented, the outcast, we dare not to hope. For hope is the thing that destroyed us, that crush us within it’s deathly reality.

    Yuki lowered her head as those thoughts ran through her head. Icy blue eyes harden through the years of hardship. Pale skin that thirst for sunlight and white hair that never shined in the sun, she had long forgotten what is like to be in the sun. What was it like to smile, to have a warm feeling in her heart. Years of hardship had squeeze what she had left out of her. She now only has her clan, a clan with a sole purpose, to end the endless night that is upon the scientific altered. She had personally preferred to sent out her own men to retrieve today’s objective, however, because of what she had lost last time, she dare not to sent anymore troops out tonight. The moon now has risen as she stood up from her black velvet chair to the curtained covered windows. She had requested several assassins from an underground assassin coup to retrieve the object. She sighed and pray to whoever is above to let the damn assassins do their jobs right. Pale hands draw the curtain aside as blue orbs looks to the blood red moon.
    -
    -
    -
    “Let the Hunt Began.”

    #2   Split Infinity 

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      Posted 05 April 2007 - 11:49 PM

      There seem to be an awful lot of spelling errors, but apart from that it was okay. I'm sure Yooks will get a surprise when she sees this. ;)

      #3   Platinum Sun 

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          Posted 06 April 2007 - 07:41 AM

        It's a pretty good opener. Kind of dark for my tastes, but it's got merit. I can't really say much else since I don't know a whole lot about the story.

        Your conjugation was bothering me, and I have nothing better to do, so I edited for it a little. I hope you don't mind.

        --[revizedzores!]--

        The city was truly a beautiful city. Great white building stood in the morning light as the smell of spring was on the air. Children laughing, birds singing, flowers blooming, everything was at its fullest. A white city, people called it. A beauty among beauty, others cried. It was a city of great pride and joy. That is what they see on the surface anyway. However, deep down, below it’s skin deep beauty lies death, greed, and lust. Like a ripple in the pond, the black ink sink into the white city as slowly as the sun goes down the horizon. We, the children of night, came out to play. We had divided ourselves into clans. Some of us killed for joy, other for money, and yet others, for other reasons. Either way, the city at night was a living hell. An endless nightmare that would soon repeat itself as the sun goes down. It was never the day, only the night while we will grow. We, the damned, as they claimed, yet it was them who made us. Them, who think they are gods yet nothing but mere fools. Them, who claim we are the sinned, them, them. They were the selfish, greedy humans who spread their malicious intentions through out this world. Corrupting what is pure, drinking in what was not. Humans, selfish humans. Yet we are not much better, us, who has the gift, believe we are above the humans, we are such foolish little children. Running around without love, living day to day as we looking onward to the next night’s kill. However, there was one, that one little light through the endless night. Can it be hope? We dear not think of it, for there was many light in the past, we reach for it, only to have it disappear in front of our eyes. We the damned, the experimented, the outcast, we dare not to hope. For hope is the thing that destroyed us, that crush us within it’s deathly reality.

        Yuki lowered her head as those thoughts ran through her head. Icy blue eyes harden through the years of hardship. Pale skin that thirsts for sunlight and white hair that never shined in the sun, she had long forgotten what is like to be in the sun. What was it like to smile, to have a warm feeling in her heart? Years of hardship had squeezed what she had left out of her. She now only has her clan, a clan with a sole purpose, to end the endless night that is upon the scientific altered. She had personally preferred to sent out her own men to retrieve today’s objective, however, because of what she had lost last time, she dare not to sent anymore troops out tonight. The moon now has risen as she stood up from her black velvet chair to the curtained covered windows. She had requested several assassins from an underground assassin coup to retrieve the object. She sighed and pray to whoever is above to let the damn assassins do their jobs right. Pale hands draw the curtain aside as blue orbs looks to the blood red moon.
        -
        -
        -
        “Let the Hunt Began.”

        Edit: Big thank you to Split's powerwhining.

        #4   Split Infinity 

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          Posted 06 April 2007 - 02:33 PM

          You forgot the ever important last line.

          ;) Wait, so this is what MD meant about me whining!

          #5   Xelina 

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            • Interests:Anime: Trinity Blood, Bleach, and Samurai Champloo.<br />Manga: Xxx Holic, X/ 1999, and Dragon Knights<br />Game: Final Fantasy VII, .Hack GU, KH II, [b]Tales of the Abyss[/b]<br />---------------------<br />Favorite Characters: Sephiroth, Vincent, Leon/Squall, [b]JADE CURTISS[/b]<br />Favorite Online Game: RO<br />Favorite Colors: Blue, Purple, Black, Green<br />Favoirte Music: J-pop, Rock, Metal, J-rock, Pop.<br />Favorite all time artist: CLAMP<br />Favorite Band: System of a Down<br />Favorite Song: Kiss by a Rose, Sail (sp?)<br />Favorite Food: Chocolate<br />Favorite Word: Pie<br />---------------------<br />Total RPC: 5<br /><br />Names of RPC:<br /><br />Yuki Shadow (F)<br />Fay W. Sabakura (M)<br />Black Cat (F)<br />White Cat (M)<br />Fionn (M)

            Posted 06 April 2007 - 08:44 PM

            @PS: Besides a blow to my ego, I'm fine. XD I need someone to do it for me anyway. Though it is kinda sad how I can't even do that... v_v;

            @Spilt: I was an emo child back then, enough said. :3


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