Learning Experience Too much time on my hands
#1
Posted 21 October 2009 - 05:58 PM
*Time passes*
Admittedly it was way too easy to pique your interest, maybe you should've stayed on that medication they gave you back in grade school. Wiki 'G' says it has few long-term side effects. Although Wiki 'H' says it can disqualify you from military service...
*time passes*
After ordering your Juiceman juice machine you sit back at your computer, only to notice that you still have Wikis 'J' through 'N' open and have to finish reading them. You make it as far as Wiki 'L' before having to open Wiki 'O' even though you promised yourself you wouldn't. Repeated ultimatums of "Just one more" start appearing around Wiki 'S' but are largely ineffective.
*time passes... again*
The disconcerting realization that you have run out of letters to annotate the Wikis you are reading hits you with much less force than it should have because the subject of Wiki 'A II' is so damned interesting. But not as interesting as Wiki 'B II.' Man, it's legal to sell that stuff? Regardless, Wiki 'C II' is calling to you...
*more time passes*
The motion of the sun indicates that you've been at this for awhile, but Wiki 'Z VII' says that the accuracy of sundials varies with the rise and fall of the summer solstice, so everything should be fine. Especially now that you've overcome the problem of Firefox bugging because you have too many tabs open to various Wikis. Thank God Wiki 'G XI' had a link to an add-on that cleared that up.
*even more time passes*
Your quest for... well you no longer know what it was you were looking for is now interrupted only by necessary biological functions. Well not all of them are entirely necessary, if Wiki 'G XVII' is to be believed. It sharply contradicts Wiki 'H IX' but then you never did finish reading that one...
*ridiculous amounts of time pass*
Some of the newspapers in the pile outside your door have colored comics, so a few weeks have gone by. No snow on them, so it probably hasn't been months yet. Though Wiki 'Alpha-2 C-LXII' indicates that El Nino could be causing climatological changes in this area. Wiki 'Gamma-4 K-XCVIII' blames global warming, but he was always a pompous, left-wing bleeding-heart anyways. (Or so Wiki 'Theta-2 G-XVII' says.) We won't listen to him... no, he lies. Must not listen to the voices!
*tectonic plates make noteworthy progress*
Your girlfriend has broken up with you at this point. Wiki 'Epsilon-Pi 229-CLXVIII' suggests Craig's List for finding a new suitable mate. Yet I may have already found one. Wiki 'Omicron-Zeta 404-LXI' and I think we can make this work. Having to frequently refer to Wiki 'Kappa 13-IXLVIVIII' for guidance on how roman numerals work is inconvenient, but serves the greater good.
*they say those times, they are a passin'*
Captain's log, day 176:
Dangerously low on supplies. Wiki 'Echo-Lima LVII' confirms that its designation is derived from the military phonetic alphabet and not the Greek alphabet. Full Wiki name Audit is pending.
*Clock ceased functioning, time estimation system being formulated.*
Day 212: Disagreement between myself and Wiki 'Alpha-four MCCCVI.' Subject unknown. Most likely regarding result of hypothetical crossover match between Marvel and Capcom characters. Wiki 'Gamma-Epsilon MXC' mentioned video game that could be used to achieve satisfactory resolution. Further investigation abandoned in favor of finding out who voiced Lugia in Pokemon the Movie 2000.
*Presumably time passed, else why would the day number have gone up so much?*
Day 326:
Supply shortage has been devastating. Was forced to consume cat food. Left with starving cat, forced to consume it as well... Recipes found in Wiki '47988.1' very helpful in both cases.
*Events occurred, though by some mechanism of the functional universe were prevented from doing so simultaneously. Must consult the Wiki for clarification of this concept.*
Day Alpha-Pi 1337:
It seems fate is on my side. An obvious clerical error has gotten me placed on the delivery route for meals on wheels. Wiki 'as yet unnamed' indicates the organization to be reputable. As such, I am continuing to remain on the delivery list despite the objections about the organization put forth by Wiki 'Gamma-Gamma-Gamma-1' and those of Wiki 'yo-gabba-gabba-1' who cites ethical concerns regarding remaining on a list of decrepit shut-ins that I clearly have no business being on.
*Unable to determine significance of asterisks, will continue research after discovering origin of '&' symbol. Wiki '%$&^%$' suggests that it is referred to as "Ampersand."*
Day 'Several':
Discovered new Wiki. Decided to call it "Charles." Wiki objected on the grounds that personal names can create potentially devastating emotional attachment. But that's ol' chuck for ya!
*Distinction between logs and breaking statements no longer discernible.*
Forgot to state what day it was in log header. Decline in physical health apparent. Visibility of keyboard declining due to organ system failure reducing blood oxygen levels. Attempting to type by touch.
*vksjdfvck das df grgbvfdg lived eht si sdik4 svijnsdfg f edsc*
Esu y78i:
Aoifcvd fodi ndv iovkndrgf. Liosfd i jds ddfewf vdf C ijsdfvn. Siw sodvndfg fewdsc cd. ?nottub rats eht dnif I did woh sidjfvn KIjfdns dsf df.
*kjasdvds sdffvkjdgvnr xch*
Tactile typing determined to be a failure. Chest pain leads one to a conclusion of failing health. The Wiki suggests Web MD. I feel as though I have more important knowledge to acquire. The Wiki knows all and I am a fool to question its wisdom, but I must know what "Big ten" means in the options package of an early-eighties model Chevrolet Silverado.
*TMieee ghooews heeereeerrr*
Conitinued chset pianin makeing tyuping hrafd. Will asdk Wikhhyuhjjhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
So yeah. That happens to me every once in awhile... anyone else?
#4
Posted 21 October 2009 - 06:54 PM
#7
Posted 24 October 2009 - 07:10 PM
#8
Posted 24 October 2009 - 09:52 PM
#10
Posted 25 October 2009 - 12:39 AM
Golden Legacy, on Oct 24 2009, 08:52 PM, said:
It's almost like some kinda psychological disorder.
#12
Posted 25 October 2009 - 10:32 AM
#13
Posted 25 October 2009 - 05:51 PM
Platinum Sun, on Oct 25 2009, 05:32 PM, said:
tl;dr
#16
Posted 25 October 2009 - 06:22 PM
But I don't think I've ever wiki surfed for more than a few minutes before needing to do something else.
#17
Posted 25 October 2009 - 06:28 PM
#20
Posted 26 October 2009 - 03:30 PM
#22
Posted 26 October 2009 - 06:04 PM
#23
Posted 26 October 2009 - 06:10 PM
If there's no gym then make your own. Try lifting the computer and using it as a medicine ball
#24
Posted 26 October 2009 - 07:49 PM
Someone Else, on Oct 26 2009, 05:10 PM, said:
If there's no gym then make your own. Try lifting the computer and using it as a medicine ball
He runs nuclear reactors IIRC. And there are no self destruct buttons IRL so I don't think he needs to be in amazing shape.
#26
Posted 26 October 2009 - 09:29 PM
I mean, it's not like the nuclear reactors in those aircraft carriers maintain themselves.
#27
Posted 26 October 2009 - 09:50 PM
#28
Posted 26 October 2009 - 10:30 PM
Platinum Sun, on Oct 26 2009, 05:04 PM, said:
How many times have you accidentally hit your head on those bulkheads?
#29
Posted 26 October 2009 - 11:00 PM
#30
Posted 27 October 2009 - 02:51 PM
And yes, you guys have the majority of your facts straight. I'm working on qualifying reactor operator aboard an aircraft carrier. Yes, the Navy has standards of physical fitness that I barely conform to. That doesn't mean that I enjoy exercising. Or that I need to be fit to do my job. I'm less physically active at work than I am at home. The newbie jobs that I have right now have me up and about a lot more than the advanced positions will. As a matter of fact, inactivity at work is mandated. As reactor operator, you sit in a chair and watch your instrument panel intently. For four hours. You can be charged with dereliction of duty if you get up and walk around the room. That one makes sense though. The instant you look away from the panel is when some crazy shit is going to go down and you'll have no idea what's going on.
Yet no matter how much vigilance is required, weight-lifting really doesn't make you any better at watching those gauges. The fitness standards are motivated by a number of unrelated concerns. Mainly they're there because anyone could be called upon at any time to help out with damage control and firefighting. Both of which can be lengthy and very strenuous activities, so we always have to be ready. That one has gotten a lot more significant since the attack on the USS Cole. Healthy sailors also reduce strain on our medical services and health insurance and tend to be less of a liability on the open ocean. Someone having a heart attack underway in the Persian Gulf is one of the biggest wrenches you can throw into the works around here. (And believe me, we have some BIG wrenches.) Also we want people to think the way WD does about Navy sailors. Being in shape projects a positive image of someone who is responsible and hard-working.