[Someone Else]

Just kidding. I really enjoyed GOW1 in the God of War Collection.

Well, MOST of the time...

Most games these days I just automatically pick the first difficulty setting that's above normal and I'm good to go, but I don't play many beat-em-ups or button mashers, so I thought I'd try normal first to test the waters and see how much of a grab I could get on the controls and gameplay. It seemed easy enough at the beginning at least, so I tried to ramp the difficulty up to hard through the options menu and... hold on, there was no such option. So I weighed my options. There is no way to change the difficulty mid-game, so I could push on through with the chance that the game will be easy as pie for me on normal, or I can go back and create a new save file on hard while I'm still in the beginning, with the risk that the game will become too hard later on.

What the hell, I went with hard mode.

All was well and good for Athens. Well... not really, but the game wasn't too brutal on hard. Up until the first cerberus fight at least. The cerberus starts off as a puppy that eventually grows into a FULL GROWN cerberus if you don't kill them quickly enough. Okay, but they spawn in packs of five or so at once! This isn't the first time the game used the mob mentality either, apparently it came out before it was established that clown car spawning sucks. So I die five times, and the games asks me if I want to switch to easy mode. Fuck you, I'm playing on HARD. It doesn't even make sense either, shouldn't it go if I die too many times on hard, I can switch to normal mode, and then if I die too many times on normal, I go to easy? Come to think of it, if the game has sophisticated enough code that it can switch the difficulty during gameplay, then why doesn't it have the option to switch anytime I want, to any difficulty I want?

Fast forward maybe five hours of gameplay later, I'm at the final boss. He's a boss with the ever commonplace three stages. Well, technically, the second stage isn't actually a fight against him, it's a fight against a bunch of (clown car spawning) clones of yourself who are trying to kill your wife and kid, and also somehow manage to look even uglier than Kratos. It is this part of the game that I tell God of War to fuck off.

Your wife and kid have their own health bar which you can replenish by hugging them with O, but this will drain your own health bar. However, hugging them is impossible to do when they're being surrounded and gang-banged by your clones! Instead of hugging your family when you press O, you strangle the nearest clone (O is the grab button.) When you've cleared the area around your family so you can heal them, the clones have enough time to reform and attack so that all of the health that you've just replenished gets eaten away anyway, even if you hug them for only a second. It is possible to build a rhythm with a certain effective combo so that the clones, for the most part, get knocked around as they spawn so they can't do anything, but there's so much room for error here that you'll eventually fuck up somehow.

To top all of this off, the game didn't count any of the times you or your family dies as a "death," it's counted as a "failure". The difference being, a "failure" doesn't trigger the count towards giving the player the chance to play on easy mode. Is this a cruel joke? Why the HELL is there no option for me to just switch to normal mode for this stupid part?

So after numerous tries, I concede to loading up the last hard save (before the start of the final boss) allow myself to die five times, and play through the rest of the fight on easy. Which... was ridiculously easy. You can literally just tap square and be fine the whole way, the game plays itself.

So fuck you God of War, you were a good game that I should've picked normal difficulty for, but FUCK you for not letting me choose it mid-game. Fuck you for you clown car spawning enemies and your cookie-cutter mobs of enemies. Fuck you for having the least enjoyable endgame of recent memory. I hope God of War 2 doesn't have retarded clown car spawning enemies and has a difficulty system that MAKES FUCKING SENSE.

Any fans of God of War here? :P

[ThankMeLater]

tl;dr you suck at vidya games?

[Someone Else]

Yes.

No, read last paragraph if you can't read 800 words (takes less than five minutes for anyone literate)

[Ironsight]

ITT Hard Mode is hard.

[Someone Else]

My complaint wasn't that hard mode is hard, it's that I'm 10 hours into a game and the only way to go to normal is to start a whole damn new one, or go into easy mode which is too easy to enjoy.

[Laharl]

play better?

[Mallick]

Man I was playin Elder Scrolls IV that shit is too hard.

[Nosferatu]

Mike Babcock, on Mar 24 2010, 02:15 PM, said:

Man I was playin Elder Scrolls IV that shit is too hard.

Bitch better be trollin'

[Someone Else]

There were only like 4 parts in GoW on hard that were actually really hard. Only reason I wrote this was because I needed to vent and needed a writing warm up to do homework, figured I'd post it for lulz, maybe one person would find it interesting/amusing.

[Mallick]

Nosferatu, on Mar 24 2010, 02:39 PM, said:

Bitch better be trollin'

dude the combat is retardedly hard how can you even manage?

[Someone Else]

I remember one person on this forum did seriously thing Oblivion combat was stupid hard, can't for the life of remember if it was actually Mallick or not.

[Mallick]

No. If it was me it was because I hadn't gotten used to it yet.

[Nosferatu]

Mike Babcock, on Mar 24 2010, 06:33 PM, said:

dude the combat is retardedly hard how can you even manage?

Press attack, use heal spell.

Repeat ad nauseum.