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You're an ********

#1   Golden Legacy 

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    Posted 03 May 2010 - 10:03 PM

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know......

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello'

    I politely said, ' This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, 'Get the right f *** ing number!', and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an *******!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, you're an ******* !' It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?' He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *******!' and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW ******* too.
    I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
    He said, 'Yes, it is.'
    I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
    He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.'
    I asked, 'What's your name?'
    He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
    I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
    He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.
    I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
    He said, 'Yes?'
    I said, 'Don, you're an *******!'
    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two ******** to call. Then I came up with an idea.......
    I called ******* #1.
    He said, 'Hello.'
    I said, 'You're an ******* !' (But I didn't hang up.)
    He asked, 'Are you still there?'
    I said, 'Yeah.'
    He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
    I said, 'Make me.'
    He asked, 'Who are you?'
    I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
    He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
    I said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
    'He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'
    I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******!' and hung up.

    Then I called ******* #2.
    He said, 'Hello?'
    I said, 'Hello, *******.'
    He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
    I said, 'You'll what?'
    He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ***!'
    I answered, 'Well, *******, here's your chance... I'm coming over right now!'

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax . I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two ******** beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead News helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

    'NOW I feel much better!!!'
    Anger management works!!!

    #2   Sea of Time 

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      Posted 03 May 2010 - 10:05 PM

      Fucking. Win.

      #3   Ironsight 

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        Posted 03 May 2010 - 10:12 PM

        OP's a ********.

        #4   Someone Else 

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          Posted 03 May 2010 - 10:15 PM

          The asterisks are inconsistent!

          #5   I'm Always BROKE 

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            Posted 03 May 2010 - 11:51 PM

            Shit like this is too awesome to be real. Funny story though.

            #6   Toasty 

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              Posted 04 May 2010 - 01:59 AM

              If even an ounce of that was true, that'd just be plain ridiculous.

              I found the story hirarious, however.

              #7   Aquamarine 

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                Posted 04 May 2010 - 01:27 PM

                ... I didn't know your name was Chris.


                lolololol

                #8   I'm Always BROKE 

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                  Posted 04 May 2010 - 06:18 PM

                  Actually when I was a kid I had periods when I woke up at like.. 6am or something. And if I was bored with TV or the SNES, I'd always call the same number and hang up. Now that I think about it, it's kind of evil cause I was fully aware of what I did. :)

                  #9   Lightning Star 

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                    Posted 04 May 2010 - 06:41 PM

                    HAHAHAHA, that's fuckin awesome. Pure evil, pure amazing.

                    #10   I'm Always BROKE 

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                      Posted 04 May 2010 - 07:05 PM

                      It was simple cause I always did a number almost exactly the same as the one we had at home except for the last 3 / 4 digits. My number ended with 884 for example. So I dailed 488. I was probly 8 or 9 back then.

                      A few years later with a friend I'd ring bells of people in the appartment homes (the ones who have a intercom video screen and so) and just talk to people and stuff. Saying "You have a weird surname" and then run away. So just ring and run away, or swear from a distance. Those where good times :)

                      #11   ThankMeLater 

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                        Posted 04 May 2010 - 09:30 PM

                        http://punxter.com/pics/M/QGD.jpg

                        #12   Laharl 

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                          Posted 05 May 2010 - 05:51 AM

                          View PostToasty, on May 4 2010, 08:59 AM, said:

                          If even an ounce of that was true, that'd just be plain ridiculous.


                          View PostIronsight, on May 4 2010, 05:12 AM, said:

                          OP's a ********.


                          #13   gsninja 

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                            Posted 05 May 2010 - 09:42 AM

                            Rofl, that was amazing.


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