Golden Sun Syndicate Forums: Golden Sun Syndicate Forums

Jump to content

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

A New Face, An Old Friend a fic that i wrote on fanfiction.net

#1   Lightning Star 

  • Master Adept
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Group: Veterans
    • Posts: 2,902
    • Joined: 21-June 04
    • Gender:Female
    • Location:Tucson, Arizona
    • Interests:I've got hobby A.D.D.
    • AKA lightningstar/Icy

    Posted 01 August 2004 - 07:41 PM

    here is the story that i wrote...its completed, i'm in the process of editing it, so parts may not make sence, but i would appreciate reviews!

    #2   Lightning Star 

    • Master Adept
    • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
      • Group: Veterans
      • Posts: 2,902
      • Joined: 21-June 04
      • Gender:Female
      • Location:Tucson, Arizona
      • Interests:I've got hobby A.D.D.
      • AKA lightningstar/Icy

      Posted 01 August 2004 - 07:44 PM

      also its a fluf story, so for you non-shipping people i'd advise u not to read this (mud, flame, wind, _____ (can't tell you, i'd spoil the story ^_^ ) shipping)

      #3   Mallick 

      • Captain Cannabis
      • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
        • Group: Veterans
        • Posts: 4,901
        • Joined: 08-July 04
        • Gender:Male
        • Location:Manitouwadge, Ontario
        • AKA Mallick/PDM/GDUB3000/Sir

        Posted 02 August 2004 - 03:40 PM

        http://www.goldensun-syndicate.net/sprites/jupiter_lighthouse/icons/characters/Unidentified.gif Tris:I love this story becasue I am in it!!!!!

        http://www.goldensun-syndicate.net/sprites/venus_lighthouse/icons/characters/Isaac2.gifIsaac:Yeah me too!!!I am so glad I found you!!!!

        http://www.goldensun-syndicate.net/sprites/jupiter_lighthouse/icons/characters/Picard.gif PiersDM:HEY!!!THIS MY POST!!!!!!!!But I like it!

        #4   Issac_Zero2 

        • Chaos Lord
        • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
          • Group: Members
          • Posts: 776
          • Joined: 28-January 04
          • Location:Brooklyn, New York
          • Interests:Duh, Golden Sun!

          Posted 02 August 2004 - 11:51 PM

          lightningstar, on Aug 2 2004, 02:41 AM, said:

          here is the story that i wrote...its completed, i'm in the process of editing it, so parts may not make sence, but i would appreciate reviews!

          Detail...Good
          Story...Not the best and a little confusing sometimes...but its pretty good
          Conversation: Detailed and understandable...
          Nice story but a little short on some chapters...

          #5   Lightning Star 

          • Master Adept
          • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
            • Group: Veterans
            • Posts: 2,902
            • Joined: 21-June 04
            • Gender:Female
            • Location:Tucson, Arizona
            • Interests:I've got hobby A.D.D.
            • AKA lightningstar/Icy

            Posted 03 August 2004 - 08:56 AM

            thanks guys, and just so you know that was my first fanfiction, so thats why it may be confusing...also i have a one shot i wrote...but i can't find it....anyways, thanks for reading!

            #6   Lightning Star 

            • Master Adept
            • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
              • Group: Veterans
              • Posts: 2,902
              • Joined: 21-June 04
              • Gender:Female
              • Location:Tucson, Arizona
              • Interests:I've got hobby A.D.D.
              • AKA lightningstar/Icy

              Posted 28 April 2007 - 02:19 PM

              Alright, SO. This post is almost three years old, right? Well, so is the story. But I promised to rewrite this story, and I FINALLY have.

              The chapters follow the original ones, so they're still a little short, but more detail has been added, the characters are more developed, and the plot line is a little different. Okay, so they don't follow exactly, but I think you guys will really like this version.

              CHAPTER I: A familiar face
              Wrapping the small gift in a decorative box, Mia muttered half to herself, "I hope he likes it…"

              "Don't worry, he will." A hand on her shoulder startled the poor musing water adept. "Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's from you, I know he'll love it." Jenna, her fiery-tempered friend, cooed supportively.

              Mia looked down, pretending to be concentrating on her wrapping, but Jenna could see she was trying to hide the ever-growing blush on her face.

              "What I don't see is why you two just don't admit that you like each other?"

              "I don't like him." She blurted out rather harshly, then lowered her voice, realizing her blatant lie was completely unconvincing, and corrected shyly, "…I love him."

              "Aww! That's too cute!" Jenna exclaimed and clasped her hands together.

              Mia cast her a glare, as she had been trying her hardest NOT to attract attention as their other friends set up for Isaac's surprise birthday party. The whole time she couldn't stop thinking about her love for the Venus adept, and knew that if either of the two wind adepts caught her in deep thought, they'd read her mind (though most likely not by choice, but probably by some blackmail Garet had found a way to dig up.)

              Luckily, no one noticed Jenna's high-pitched squeal; They'd be more surprised if she was being quiet. "I'm worried about him coming back too soon. There's so much we still have left to do!"

              "I'm worried about him period. He's been kinda out of it lately." Mia frowned.

              "He did things like this a lot before though. Y'know, just go off and wander to…what do they call it? Oh yeah, 'soul-searching'." Jenna shrugged. "He'll be fine. Any monsters he encounters will be no match for his Sol Blade, I'm sure."

              Mia cracked a smile, "Yeah, I guess you're right." she folded the last piece then gingerly wrapped a pretty blue ribbon around the box to hold it all together while adding a nice finishing touch. Holding it out in front of her, she eyed it over, then smiled in satisfaction. "Perfect."

              000000

              The sound of leaves crackled as he made his way around the forest. His energy was still quite high for the distance he had traveled and the amount of monsters he had encountered. Seeing a clearing in the bushes, he moved through to find himself standing on the edge of cliff. The breeze glided gently across his face and through his hair while the sound of trees could be heard rustling behind him.

              Never noticed this before…

              Gazing down, he noticed a small town almost completely covered in vines. Stepping down the cliff, he jumped from rock to rock, his blonde spiky hair moving bouncing as he did so. He looked back up from whence he came and then quickly turned around to face the mystery in front of him.

              A memory, a sort of déjà vu, came over him with every step closer to approaching the hidden town.

              ----

              mommy…mommy! Where are you?! A little blonde haired boy ran frantically through the chaotic streets of Vale. People screamed and scattered as heavy raindrops fell painfully upon their foreheads. The winds blew mercilessly and lightning struck to threaten the lives of many.

              Spotting a small family ahead, seeming to be looking around, scared and frightened, he ran towards them… not noticing the large whirlwind about to wipe out the town.

              Mommy! Daddy! Tris—The whirlwind picked up the family and others, displacing everything, and everyone.

              ----

              Isaac shook his head as he stepped into the town. The memory…a vision from a past long tucked away but never forgotten. As he looked around, every house, every statue, and almost everything was covered in vines. People moved around busily, but stopped to look at the stranger curiously as he entered the town. He was used to the awkward stares, but it seemed like something else was sucking his energy, and fast.

              With every step he took, his head felt light, his neck hot, and his breathing short. Blackness became his friend.

              Later that night he awoke to a blonde haired female looking at him curiously. He sat up, but soon felt her hand pressing him down. "Don't move to quickly." She warned.

              "ngh…" he grunted, falling back down on the foreign bed cautiously. "Where am I?" he slurred groggily.

              "Sham." She responded quietly and plainly. Standing up from the chair next to him, she walked over to a window to open it. "Fresh air will do you good." she said as she pulled back the curtains, revealing the full moon of the shimmering night sky.

              "Thank you…who are you?" he asked, now a little more awake.

              "Iris. I saw you black out and brought you here. You're at my father's inn." She smiled, sitting back down in the chair. "And who are you?"

              "Isaac." He smiled warmly, sitting up slower. "So I just blacked out?"

              "Yeah. You seemed real out of it, and just fell over." she looked at him curiously, "What happened? Have you been traveling long?"

              "I…really don't remember. And no, not real long. Well, compared to the distances I've gone. I traveled here from Vale."

              "Oh, you're an adept from vale!" she smiled, "That's good. We Shamians trust few, but Valeans have a good reputation here." She paused, playing with an amber necklace that fell gracefully around her neck. "All of us here are Venus Adepts."

              "Then I'd fit right in; So am I." He chuckled but then noticed the necklace she wore, attached to a leather string around her neck.

              "Iris!" The two heard an older man shout from downstairs.

              "Coming!" she stood up quickly and walked towards the stairs, "I'll be right back." She paused, looking back, "It's nice to meet you, Isaac of Vale."

              "You…too." he feigned a smile that was believable enough to send her happily down the stairs.

              Reaching over his bed and fumbling around in his bag, he pulled out the same amber necklace with the same leather string. Trista…is that you?

              0000000



              I know it's short, but trust me, the original one was much shorter. More to come, or you can read the rest at this address: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1763835/1/

              I'll continue to post it here if you guys would prefer. Tis all!


              #7   Platinum Sun 

              • Disciple
              • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
                • Group: Veterans
                • Posts: 1,629
                • Joined: 04-June 04
                • Gender:Male
                • Location:Newport News, VA But not by choice.
                • Interests:Fire, RPGs (the playable kind too), dragon lore, computer games, political satire, watching all you puny mortal humans run around like rats in a maze.

                Posted 28 April 2007 - 05:43 PM

                You come on pretty strong with the mushyness, but it's shaping up ok. Maybe I'll read the rest at FF.net when I get a chance.

                #8   Lightning Star 

                • Master Adept
                • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
                  • Group: Veterans
                  • Posts: 2,902
                  • Joined: 21-June 04
                  • Gender:Female
                  • Location:Tucson, Arizona
                  • Interests:I've got hobby A.D.D.
                  • AKA lightningstar/Icy

                  Posted 28 April 2007 - 11:20 PM

                  Thanks for the review. Yeah, I know it's strong. But trust me, what I wrote before was ten times more cliche and painfully mushy. You gotta think, I wrote this when I was a young 13 year old and still believed in fairy tales. -_- Chapter four is sort of a rude awakening, which I believe will balance it out a lot.

                  But I'll keep that in mind as I work on the rest of the chapters.


                  (P.S. My other fanfic is so painfully realistic with real emotions, that it's hard to believe I wrote both. XDDD)

                  #9   PDM 

                  • Disciple
                  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
                    • Group: Members
                    • Posts: 1,263
                    • Joined: 31-December 05
                    • AKA lifeform288

                    Posted 17 May 2007 - 10:37 PM

                    My old post was pro.


                    But it was a great story, so I'm happy rewriting it.


                    /read


                    Page 1 of 1
                    • You cannot start a new topic
                    • You cannot reply to this topic