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Necromage Chronicles Not a GS story, but one nonetheless.

#1   Kuraikitsune 

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    Posted 15 September 2004 - 07:12 PM

    I saw a topic similar to this earlier in another message board, so I started thinking. If I could post up a story for a Square Enix game, I could get tips, pointers, and some names, too. Well, I need names for these:
    The diabolical bad guy
    The elf queen
    “Jenna” and “John”. More on that later.
    The name of a fictional continent and world.

    All set? Here we go. The story is long, but I’ll try to summarize.

    Kurai is the protagonist of the story. She’s a necromage with silver hair, sapphire eyes, and elfin ears, as she is an elf. She’s quiet, and spends much of her time thinking rather than speaking.

    During the Dark Times, the elves are a hunted race. The world is crawling with soldiers and bloodthirsty warlords. War is inevitable… except for one small corner of the Northern continent. Nirvana, it was called; the safe haven of the elves, unable to be entered by anything other than what an elf allows in. However, Kurai was a citizen of the southern continent… a hunted citizen, at that. She quickly ran from the area with Shiori, a white haired, soft spoken elf with healing powers surpassing that of a normal elf, and Tokki, a small, spunky catlike demon thief with an attitude that they had known for years.

    After fleeing the immediate area, they find one of their fellow elves. She had been slain by one of the nearby soldiers and was lying on the battlefield. Kurai attempted to bring her friend back from the dead, only to be interrupted by a soldier. The interruption caused a dire error in the spellcasting, allowing the elf only a few words:

    “The castle, Kurai… the door to life has opened to an ancient death…”

    …before she had collapsed again, her soul escaping and flying to the North, towards the Warlord’s castle. Kurai cursed before laying to rest again the soulless shell that had once belonged to her friend.

    The warlord (name, please) was the one behind the murders, as he required the hearts and souls of elves, the holy race, to bring back a mysterious woman…

    During the journey north, Tokki hires two humans for their aid:

    I’ll call the first one “Jenna”. She’s got a fiery personality, with a short fuse to match. She does have a soft side, however, which she only shows when not stressed, and only to people that she truly trusts.

    The second is “John”. He is quick to speak his mind, which is what gets him in trouble most of the time. He has the heart of an innocent angel, though… almost like a child.

    Also, during the journey, a small dragon shows up. Shiori was charged with its care, although the player determines its overall power and element. It can be offensive or defensive, a magic user or a physical attacker, fast or slow. Its nature also depends on the player, and is one of the only mandatory sidequests in the game.

    After traveling through the mountains where they found the little
    dragon, they heard more information from a clan of cave elves. The warlord was caring for the body of an elf, which was why their souls and hearts were worth their weight in gold. Kurai and the others can not stop a mysterious force from draining the souls from the elves, and can barely stop the same from happening to Shiori. Somehow, though, Kurai was unaffected.

    After all this, they eventually find themselves walking distance from Nirvana… and within sight was the castle of the sinister warlord. While stopping off at the wonderful oasis, they discovered more information. The elf in the castle was an elven queen that had lived centuries ago; the lord was using the souls to resurrect her. They had also learned that he deeply loved her, as well as what he read about her. Being a stubborn and egotistical warlord, he believed he could get whatever he wanted, at whatever price… he wanted her, no matter the cost. She had been soft spoken and kind, but her soul had housed many secrets. They reluctantly turned from paradise to take the treacherous journey through the desert to end the tyrant’s bloody reign.

    They get to the castle, where they eventually come face to face with the ruler. He admitted that it all was true… and that only one more heart was needed to resurrect his love. After an intense battle, he drives his bladed gloves into Kurai’s chest and pulls out her heart, using some of what was left of his strength to put the heart into the machine and question her life. She was still alive… she had been dead for as long as the queen he longed to resurrect, and had taken up the trade of the one that had saved her from the clutches of death. The capsule housing the queen explodes, showering the party in glass.

    She stood up from her prison, and turned to the weakened warlord before saying, “Darkness… your heart has it! Give it to me!” She sucked out his soul before plucking his heart from his body. She transformed from a beautiful elf into a hideous demon, revealing that she had hidden the darkness in her soul for too long, and been parasitic this entire time, feeding off the hatred and lust for revenge that was housed in most of the elven souls. She had been a demon in the skin of a holy elf. She attacked them viciously, eventually leveling out the castle in her rage.

    Soon after, her body began to disintegrate, her body unable to house so much of the souls’ wrath. She fell to the ground as souls swept the land, tearing the souls out of the soldiers that had destroyed them. After their own bloodlust was satisfied, they gave themselves up to death, rising and disappearing into the clouds.

    The remaining elves gathered together and joined their powers, transferring their healing powers to the land. The land, battered and torn, rejuvenated, and all was as it was before the wars; green grass, clean air, and not a bloodstain to be seen.

    After the land is healed once again, Shiori holds Kurai close, realizing with dread the fate of her condition. She smiles as he confesses her love before falling to the earth, where an ancient gravestone marked where she had fallen all those centuries ago.

    *The only sidequests I can think of are ones for more of Kurai’s undead summons. That’s it. I appreciate honest comments on this story, its flaws, its strengths, and whether or not you'll think it'll make the cut. I'll modify it based on the suggestions.

    #2   Mallick 

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      Posted 15 September 2004 - 07:27 PM

      hmm the bad guy: something with the initials "PDM"
      The elf Queen: I don't know

      wow this sounds interesting -_-

      #3   Neo 

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        Posted 15 September 2004 - 11:43 PM

        Bad guy: Mourain
        Elf queen: Elwanda

        #4   Kuraikitsune 

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          Posted 16 September 2004 - 05:32 PM

          *Thinks until she gets a headache, then falls out of chair due to the pain.*
          Oweee. Okay. Once I get more ideas for the names, I'll put a poll on this... if I can. I'm not sure how, but I'll figure it out. :ph34r: However... since I'm really, really bad with names, I'll accept a name for the little dragon, and name changes for anything else in the story. But, but, but... Kurai and Shiori's names won't change. Ever.
          I've used Kurai for years. As in, maybe 6-7 years ago; before the name was used in Angel Sanctuary, which ticked me off royals. Kurai means darkness, and Shiori means light. Two opposites linked together by fate... I'd like to keep it that way. Any other name changes are up for discussion.
          And Neo_Genesis... those... those were really cool names! Uh... I won't get sued if I use them, right? As in, they don't belong in any other games, do they? I don't want to make thousands only to lose millions in a lawsuit... :P

          #5   Kikuichimonji 

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            Posted 18 September 2004 - 02:32 AM

            WOw what a good fan fic, please continue it!

            #6   Valistrix 

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              Posted 18 September 2004 - 03:13 AM

              Sweet story, better than mine i done

              #7   Isaac13 

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                Posted 18 September 2004 - 10:20 AM

                VERY good story. Better than mine. I'm gonna write another one soon. Keep going.
                I like it.

                #8   Kuraikitsune 

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                  Posted 19 September 2004 - 03:35 PM

                  Keep going?...
                  That's the whole story, folks. Shortened, of course. The actual story itself is about 26 pages long, and I'm not done yet. If you want the extended version, you gotta be patient... my computer's gone haywire, so I'm having trouble accessing my Word Documents.

                  #9   Kuraikitsune 

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                    Posted 20 September 2004 - 07:38 PM

                    Sorry to double-post... but I need names in order to finalize the drafts. That way, I can actually post them up, and people will be happy! Think of names, please! (Oh, and I replaced the dragon with a chimera at another user's request, so think of a name for it, too.)

                    #10   Linear 

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                      Posted 20 September 2004 - 07:56 PM

                      There is an edit button on the right side of your post, so you dont need to double post. Be careful next time.

                      #11   Isaac13 

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                        Posted 13 October 2004 - 06:26 PM

                        Oh, that's it? That's not nice. I would rather you would try to at least to make a longer storyline or something.

                        #12   Kuraikitsune 

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                          Posted 13 October 2004 - 09:07 PM

                          You know, if you gave me names, it probably would get longer. I'm working on an extended version right now. Once I get the bad guy's name and the name of the elf queen, it'll exceed 20 pages. Don't mean to be mean or anything...

                          #13   Linear 

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                            Posted 13 October 2004 - 11:10 PM

                            you can use some of our own names if you want.

                            #14   Kuraikitsune 

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                              Posted 14 October 2004 - 07:09 AM

                              I would... but I can't think of any... :blink:

                              #15   Valistrix 

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                                Posted 16 October 2004 - 12:55 PM

                                Use your imagination, that's what you have it for.

                                #16   Kuraikitsune 

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                                  Posted 16 October 2004 - 01:09 PM

                                  *Sighs*
                                  I'd love to. I wish I was talented like some people who can think of names instantly. Unfortunately, I'm the type that can figure out entire plots like nothing, but can't ever think of names to go with it.
                                  However, I'm thinking of naming the queen Shikyo, which means 'death'. What do you all think?

                                  #17   Valistrix 

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                                    Posted 16 October 2004 - 01:20 PM

                                    Brilliant, how about you use one of my made up names, Levian.

                                    #18   Isaac13 

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                                      Posted 22 October 2004 - 04:54 PM

                                      How about you use my name, Dustin?


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