[Elliott]

Note: This is not aimed as a direct stab at anyone, anywhere, in real life or on the internet. Do not take it as one, if you do then fine, just don't start flaming me for this, send me a PM by all means. This is simply a poem of what I feel, if you don't like it then by all means don't post. I won't only be posting it here either. Thanks in advance for your co-operation.

Why search hopelessly in the halls of the fraud?
True salvation is not found within the arms of a 'god'.
Reject the scripture of false truths, burn thy vengeful word,
Throw out the mind control symbols of cross, and lamb.
You exploit the sinner as a scapegoat for the trinity,
Using your creation as an instrument of warfare.
Evangelise the spirit of deceit,
Label us broken, withered and lost.
Plot the destruction of free will,
You feed your empire the souls of the dead.
Two-faced lying b*stards preach the lies,
The unsure are converted against their will.
Is there any reason behind the mask?
The saviour brings only destruction.

Any constructive critisism would be very much appreciated, as this is the first time I have actually written, and taken poetry seriously.

[pHantOm]

Very Powerful Agatio, it displays an anger at todays religion and how it is practiced, forced onto people and how they are hypocrits. Briliantly written, Amazing choice of words and an amazing sense of individualism.

[Izar]

Anger towards religion, anger towards me. If it wasn't meant to offend or wansn't meant as a direct "stab" at anyone, in "real-life" or "the internet" then it isn't to be psoted. I will consult Nick on this one.

And don't call anyone hypocrites phantom, NO ONE.

[Elliott]

Sometimes I wonder if you can read Izar. Read the first paragraph again, you know the one in bold? And the red highlights are ones that are emphasised, meaning you should read them extra careful. Thanks.

[pHantOm]

Izar, on Jun 29 2005, 12:30 AM, said:

Anger towards religion, anger towards me. If it wasn't meant to offend or wansn't meant as a direct "stab" at anyone, in "real-life" or "the internet" then it isn't to be psoted. I will consult Nick on this one.

And don't call anyone hypocrites phantom, NO ONE.

I didnt, everything I said was based of what was posted


"Two-faced lying b*stards preach the lies"

But, I do feel you are taking this the wrong way m8.

[Elliott]

I thought that line may cause trouble, but I also though the people here would be mature enough to look past it and into the message I intended to convery, the message of my thoughts and feelings on a particular subject.

[Izar]

You know what, agatio? Who gives a flip? I can't PM you Agatio, you've blocked me. And you KNOW this is offending, you KNOW that a post like this is not allowed. And I have the right to post my opinion. And saying "Sometimes I wonder if you can read Izar" is really rude, and you know it. Would Max or Nick make a post like that? No, then don't. You know the rules, quit trying to bypass them.

Phantom, you said: "forced onto people and how they are hypocrits." That's saying some one is a hypocrite. Dont.

[Elliott]

I said, very clearly, if you don't like it, then don't post.
You didn't like it, and you posted, I don't understand the logic behind that.
And there is no rule against this, I checked.

[pHantOm]

Ment no harm m8, I personally looked at it in an artistic fasion. Although I am catholic and have just been confirmed this April I found it artistic. Just because I dont agree with it means its wrong.

[Luna]

I can't really say I agree with what you said but, I will judge it objectively as a piece of poetry.

The symbolism applied was indeed great <3 You know I especially loved the part about the mask.

Also, when I was reading the whole thing, it felt like reading a song so; that's a plus too.

[Izar]

aanubisio, I have the RIGHT to post.

The rules say that is a post offends some one, then it is NOT to be posted. you KNEW this would offend some one, preferably me.

[pHantOm]

k, Im new here so what I say doesnt matter. But I deal with this stuff all the time. Perhaps this topic should be closed and the issue should be handled over instant messanger. 2 moderators argueing in a topic doesnt look appealing to people stopping by to visit.

[Nemphtis]

Izar, on Jun 29 2005, 05:55 AM, said:

aanubisio, I have the RIGHT to post.

ROFL that's one big ass typo right thurr! :wacko:

[Elliott]

Are you serious? You actually think I took the time to write this poem, and post it here, just to offend you? You obviously don't know me too well, I try my best to completely ignore you the majority of the time, no, can we get back on topic, and people actually critique the piece?

[Nick Presta]

Powerful piece, although slightly misguided.

You used good imagery well. 8/10.

[pHantOm]

*Detects a deleted post*

I dont think anything is worth fighting over. ^_^

[Elliott]

That's why I deleted it. It's my opinion and feelings, if people don't like it then so be it. I'm not going to start grudges over this (though I'll keep the one I already have).

[I'm Always BROKE]

Eh? I didn't really understand this one. Is it about these forums or something? ^_^

[Elliott]

It's about my hatred of religion. I wrote this because I am thoroughly sick of religion and it's place in society. I feel religion can be fine, if practiced in private, and if it does not affect music, politics, or entertainment.

[Golden Djinn13]

That was a really detailed view on religion, although i may not agree with everything, that was good poetry. Do you feel that religion has an effect on everything?

[theblueflames]

I got to agree with Golden_Djinn. I'm catholic myself, but I respect your opinion and will read it as poetry ^_^ . It was really good, expressing feeling like poetry should and stuff. *Thumbs up*

[Neo]

Great use of words, and although I do not completely see the story behind the words, I can understand a bit. the main reason for this, I guess, is that I'm not that good in english.

I am an atheist myself, but even if I was a believer, I wouldve taken no offense on this poem. it's just a creation of one person, because he expresses his feelings. feelings are the same as opinions, nobody can say they are good or wrong. that's why nobody can say he means it as an offensive message, or not. I suggest to stop the debating and flaming about that, but just rate the poem for f.ck sake.

P.s. I knew this combination of Agatio and Izar wouldn't be a good idea. if I remember correctly you two had a little "fight" some time ago.

[Golden Djinn13]

Even though I am christian and don't agree with everything he said, I really don't see how it could offend someone, if it is his oppinion on religion. Thats just how i see it.

[Elliott]

You have your opinions on Atheism, Satanism, and goodness knows what else, and I don't care, so I see no reason for any religious person to take offense to this, just read it as poetry, not a stab at you personally.

[pHantOm]

Yeah...I think I should stay out of a disagreement between 2 moderators.

[Eugine]

I don't agree with 0.0000001% of your poem in terms of what you are trying to potray, but interms of just analysing the poem without any discretion I'll give the poem a 8/10.

P.S. I think that it should be closed, I'm not trying to be baised Agatio, but you knew Izar would of react that way, that is the reasion I think you added that note before your poem.

[Elliott]

I added that note because I though people would have the brains to read it, and reply like you, and most others in this topic did. You rated it as a poem, on the way it was written, which is what I wanted, not for people to start whining about how it is against religion. I obviously thought wrong. And no, I'm leaving this topic open.