[Mindpatch]

Hi, as 1 or 2 of you might now me and my gf broke up today and I'm kindof an emotional wreck.. so I was just wondering, what methods do you guys/gals use to get over this stuff...

[Split Infinity]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Mindpatch. I can't offer much advice but...is there a reason that you broke up?

[Mindpatch]

yes, she didnt really feel the same way she did in the beginning, she felt like Im more then a friend but like a really really really close friend.. we split up in piece sortof.

[Lightning Star]

Took me five months to get over my last break up, but that's because we were together for a long time.

How long were you and her together?

Did she ever do anything annoying in your relationship?

Did you break it up or did she?

Sadly, sometimes the best way to get over a person is to get angry at them. I know it sounds shallow, but my ex had to send me an e-mail basically saying (Quite rudely) that he didn't think we should keep talking to each other and for me to stop waiting in hopes that he'd take me back. It really ticked me off to the point where my anger took over any feelings for him. A few days later I realized he only wanted me to move on, so I wasn't angry any more, but I also didn't have any feelings for him either. He just happened to break up with his girlfriend and we began to talk to each other again, but only as friends.

[Split Infinity]

Well I can't imagine there being a more appropriate time to post this, so:

http://www.youtube.c...hqmJh77e04&NR=1

[Mindpatch]

She broke up with me in the end, but she never really did anything annoying in our relationship,.. it actually had only been going on for 2,5 months..

[Someone Else]

Close friends is still pretty awesome. At least she doesn't want to bar all contact from you like some girls might do. Given a bit of time, YOU might be able to try again, who knows.

[Mindpatch]

you're right, I guess i'm sort of lucky in a weird way...

[Sea of Time]

I went through something like this and even though we got together again in the next three days, the best way to deal with it is talk to someone close to you about it, if not your best friend, then your family and what not. Or you can do what I did and shut yourself in your room and listen to music while being really, really depressed. That didn't quite work out though. Good luck with it all man, I know what it's like.

[Mindpatch]

Yep thats what I tried, I took my guitar put the amp on high volume, gain 10 and my overdrive on full, opened up the windows and rocked my soul out...

[Sea of Time]

Keep doing it. Sometimes that's the only release.

[Toasty]

Personally, I fell you can't really ever get over it. Even after a long time, there'll still be a part of you that misses them. Unless they we're complete jerks.

But MP, though I don't have any advice for getting over it, all I can say is wait.

[Aquamarine]

Sorry to hear about that, Mindpatch. I never did anything really. I would feel slightly depressed for a short time then go back to feeling normal. That's just me though, so I can't help...

[Lightning Star]

I think you can be "over" romantically with a person, but still really care about them. The guy from my past is still one of my good friends.

Another thing I did (which I dunno if guys do this, but girls do it a lot) was get rid of the things that reminded me of him. I held onto his picture for so long, and I think once I finally got rid of it, I started to heal up better. I think if I still had it, I would look at it, and I would begin to feel the way I used to feel when we were together.

There's a song that goes "Never want to hear you tell yourself that these feelings are in the past. No it doesn't mean they're off the shelf, because pain was built to last" And it's true. Love can be broken so easily, but pain is foolproof, unfortunately. Sometimes time is the best way to heal over.

But one thing is for certain, NEVER EVER EVER get a rebound. You end up in a relationship you're not happy with, and you end up hurting someone else once it falls apart (and that would be within a few days too). Just trust me on this one. I did that with one of my friends and I ended up hurting him really bad.

[Mindpatch]

Thanks you guys, I feel better now.. I guess posting a topic about it might help just a bit too. :P

[Toasty]

That's good to hear. :P

You know what? I just realised why I like this forum so much, and probably why people always seem to come back.

It's not like other game related forums that are full of 12 year olds who just spam, the members here can be serious when it calls for it, and immature little kids when we're just goofing off in th common room.

It's the fact that the members here are more mature for their ages than on a lot of other forums.

[Lightning Star]

I agree. I've noticed that as well. I've tried to find new "homes" (gaia, rm.exe forum, etc) but I always come HERE. And of course we always have some little newbies running around that are sometimes immature, but I know we're all like that once, and we learn from the mature people here how to behave socially on these forums. Yay for GSSF!

Sorry, now back to the topic ^^;

Yeah, talking about relationship issues helps; I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my friends about it. It's also why I'm such a journal whore. I'm not sure, but I think it's scientifically proven that writing about your problems helps relieve some of the stress. I've filled up many journals and I blog A LOT. I think it also helps you figure out the facts and look at the situation from different perspectives. So yeah, talking about it can also help you heal, maybe not quicker, but it definitely helps.

[Mindpatch]

I know exactly what you mean, I have some other forums that I visit every now and then but I feel like this is kind of my forum home base, although I don't post that regularely and mainly just common room, it still feels good enough to post this topic.. and about the writing part, I actually wrote a really good song about it and another instrumental part and I started painting again this morning ^^

[Toasty]

I remember when I was a noob. This was the first forum I had ever been on, and frankly I wasn't quite sure what to do. o.o;

Talking to other people helps, but I don't feel like there's anyone I could talk to face to face about any of it. I almost feel like I'm the only one with problems, though I know other people I know have problems. I just feel like I'd be judged. And that's another thing I like about these forums. As long as you don't act like a noob, people don't judge you.

[Mindpatch]

thats exactly the way I feel, I've got some pretty good friends but really maybe 1 or 2 of them I could talk face to face about this stuff... and they're both girls for some reason..

[Lightning Star]

Haha, that's probably because girls are masters when it comes to giving love advice. I really only talk to one or two of my girlfriends as well though, mostly because all the others are too flaky or just acquaintances that don't really care.

[pHantOm]

My advice, date another girl to get over her. :P

Being just friends is ***, you're going to have all these awkward moments and eventually just stop talking to each other. Just start dating another girl and you'll get over it so fast. Cause you'll start laughing when shes all jealous over this new girl, and secondly this new girl will be a lot better. :D

[Someone Else]

pHantOm, on Aug 6 2007, 04:49 AM, said:

My advice, date another girl to get over her. :P

Being just friends is ***, you're going to have all these awkward moments and eventually just stop talking to each other. Just start dating another girl and you'll get over it so fast. Cause you'll start laughing when shes all jealous over this new girl, and secondly this new girl will be a lot better. :D

Does that REALLY work?

[Lightning Star]

>> no.

Because you're only getting another girl to get over your last one, and you won't have feelings for the new one. Then you end up breaking your her heart when you realize you don't really have feelings for her, but she really likes yrou.

Bad advice, in my opinion.

(Edit: fix-ed)

[Someone Else]

Yeah, I have to wonder (no offense pHantom) if your other girlfriend is actually as good as the first, or if you're just happy to not be alone now that you've broken up with your first.

I know nothing about your new gf, but I think there could be some problems later if you hooked up with this girl too fast to avoid the pain of being alone. Of course these are all just "ifs" based simply off of the possibility that you rebounded. :P

[pHantOm]

Nah

I waited a couple months after breaking up with Fran.

And thats not true lightningstar, After I dated Fran for a year and 4 months, we broke up. I waited a little while then started dating Kasey. You find out what its like to be with a different girl, and often times one not so stubburn and b*tchy. But thats just my experience.

[Mindpatch]

Yeah, but thats probably because you didn't break up really well... friendly, it might differ under different sircumstances.

[Lightning Star]

Well yeah, wait a few months. Don't go find one a week after you break up with the girl.

...take it from my experience ^^;

[Aquamarine]

Just don't have a long-term relationship. That's the easiest way to avoid all that stuff. Just date girls for a week or two, simply for the fun. :P

[Someone Else]

^ He might be on to something

Though in seriousness... do you really want to date many girls for the fun of it, but never getting to know anybody or finding anyone you like?

But then, this is from the guy who hasn't found ANYBODY he actually likes or ever dated thus far. Maybe what aqua says is best. I don't know it'd make mindpatch feel better though.

[Mindpatch]

Believe me man, if you find someone you really like, you'll never want to go back to the old days.. :P

[Someone Else]

I used to know a lot of girls when I was a kid. Some teased me, but I guess that's just because I was one of the cuter little boys and it's what little kids do when they "like" somebody. Then they all of my girl friends (note the space) moved or went to a different High School then I did. Since then, I've had very few girls who are more than acquaintances. I do flirt sometimes, but the girls who are interested in me are interested for the wrong reasons or I have no interest in them either.

[Lightning Star]

Wind Dude, on Aug 7 2007, 09:43 PM, said:

I used to know a lot of girls when I was a kid. Some teased me, but I guess that's just because I was one of the cuter little boys and it's what little kids do when they "like" somebody. Then they all of my girl friends (note the space) moved or went to a different High School then I did. Since then, I've had very few girls who are more than acquaintances. I do flirt sometimes, but the girls who are interested in me are interested for the wrong reasons or I have no interest in them either.

Same, but vice versa with the boy/girl thing :P

I guess the only problem now is that yes, there are cute guys out there and there are some that I probably would really like. But to get into a situation where we would open up and become close just doesn't seem to happen to me.

Take tonight, for example. A bunch of my friends invited me and their friends to the park, so there were a lot of people. The park is open until 10, and the "party" lasted till 9:30. It was the perfect set up to fall in love, because the sky was clear, the stars were shining, there was music in the background. But everyone was too chicken to dance with each other (didn't help that some parents were chaperoning) and the guys generally stuck together in their group, and the girls did the same. I tried to get to know one guy, but he just was too quiet, and all the other guys were my b-tard friends that are cool, but I would never date in a thousand year (and the other guy was my friend's ex boyfriend, so I didn't even go there XD).

Falling back in love is harder than it seems. I love Dane Cook's metaphor about relationships :

"When you're not in love, it's like walking by a party, that everyone is invited to but you, in the rain. When you're in love, you're like 'this party sucks, get me out of here! where's my coat?! oh my god, someone **** on the coats!"

it's just another one of those things that you can't live with, and can't live without.

[Aquamarine]

Wind Dude, on Aug 7 2007, 06:40 PM, said:

Though in seriousness... do you really want to date many girls for the fun of it, but never getting to know anybody or finding anyone you like?

Yes.

At least for now I do. I'm still young and not ready for a committed relationship. To tell the truth, all I really want to do is have fun. I want to make the most of being 18, and I'll start having "real" girlfriends when I'm a couple of years older, when I've matured a little.

Perhaps this is what Mindpatch should do? Go out one evening and have a one night stand, maybe you'll feel better. Seriously.

[Mindpatch]

haha, meh, maybe I'm just gonna party with the dudes for a while, do guy stuff and get my mind off of the ladies :P

[Someone Else]

That's probably best. Just hang out with some good friends and keep your mind off of your troubles for a while. But remember, it's perfectly fine to feel sad, even if it does feel like it sucks the big one.

[Lightning Star]

Aquamarine, on Aug 8 2007, 04:28 AM, said:

Yes.

At least for now I do. I'm still young and not ready for a committed relationship. To tell the truth, all I really want to do is have fun. I want to make the most of being 18, and I'll start having "real" girlfriends when I'm a couple of years older, when I've matured a little.

Perhaps this is what Mindpatch should do? Go out one evening and have a one night stand, maybe you'll feel better. Seriously.

Wow I'm glad I'm not one of your victims.


shaaaaaa-loooooow.

[pHantOm]

Mindpatch, on Aug 7 2007, 02:48 AM, said:

Yeah, but thats probably because you didn't break up really well... friendly, it might differ under different sircumstances.

Im on the phone with Fran while playing halo with her. Were on great terms :P

[Aquamarine]

lightningstar, on Aug 8 2007, 10:15 PM, said:

Wow I'm glad I'm not one of your victims.


shaaaaaa-loooooow.

One day, Icy, one day... Bwahahaha!!!

[Someone Else]

pHantOm, on Aug 8 2007, 03:43 PM, said:

Im on the phone with Fran while playing halo with her. Were on great terms :P

Ever considered being friends with benefits? Rofl.

[Sea of Time]

Aquamarine, on Aug 8 2007, 05:28 AM, said:

Yes.

At least for now I do. I'm still young and not ready for a committed relationship. To tell the truth, all I really want to do is have fun. I want to make the most of being 18, and I'll start having "real" girlfriends when I'm a couple of years older, when I've matured a little.

Perhaps this is what Mindpatch should do? Go out one evening and have a one night stand, maybe you'll feel better. Seriously.

I'm pretty sure every (sober) girl in the universe is wanting a long-term relationship from somebody. So you're saying you're content with being that guy she'll forget the second she finds someone better? I personally like having someone who's not just a girlfriend, but also just a friend. When you find someone who is fine with having it both ways, then you've found a winner.

[I'm Always BROKE]

Aquamarine, on Aug 8 2007, 01:28 PM, said:

Perhaps this is what Mindpatch should do? Go out one evening and have a one night stand, maybe you'll feel better. Seriously.

Probarly the best solution to this problem. :P

[Aquamarine]

Sea of Time, on Aug 9 2007, 08:50 AM, said:

I'm pretty sure every (sober) girl in the universe is wanting a long-term relationship from somebody. So you're saying you're content with being that guy she'll forget the second she finds someone better? I personally like having someone who's not just a girlfriend, but also just a friend. When you find someone who is fine with having it both ways, then you've found a winner.

Hm... As I said, yes I am content with that. For now. Seeing as that girl will also be forgotten when I find another/get bored of her. And not all girls want a long-term relationship actually. Some just want an adventure, like I do.

Having said that, I'm not one of those guys who gets hooked up with every girl possible. Actually, I haven't had a girlfriend in about two years, because I don't want to have one AND I haven't met one I would be glad to be with. There were a few I could have been with, but they just weren't for me.

And I've never taken advantage of a drunk girl.

[Sea of Time]

Aquamarine, on Aug 9 2007, 08:19 AM, said:

Hm... As I said, yes I am content with that. For now. Seeing as that girl will also be forgotten when I find another/get bored of her. And not all girls want a long-term relationship actually. Some just want an adventure, like I do.

What I meant was barely any girls want an adventure their whole life. But if that's how you see it, that's your opinion.

[pHantOm]

You're young, you'll get over it.

[Mindpatch]

Ok, so here goes nothing: First she calls me saying she didn't know that it was my number... then she says, ok, I gotta go I have only 1€ left on my phone, I'll text you. So I get a text saying shes alright, asking me about my painting and she wants to get together sometime soon.. So I kindof said yes, is that stupid? xD

[Aquamarine]

Stupid? Why would that be stupid? Being good friends with her is cool, and what if you hook up with her again? All the better.

pHantOm, on Aug 10 2007, 09:20 AM, said:

You're young, you'll get over it.

Exactly, that's what I've been saying all along.

[Caael]

Watch this, it will make you happy.

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=37RY0vMLw_U

[Gardna]

I'm not completely sure if I'm allowed to say that but smoking ganja helps me when I'm sad. It makes me laugh whether I want it or not and I can forget about the things that are troubling me. At least for a while.

[Aquamarine]

Gardna, on Aug 23 2007, 10:22 PM, said:

I'm not completely sure if I'm allowed to say thatbut smoking ganja helps me when I'm sad. It makes me laugh whether I want it or not and I can forget about the things that are troubling me. At least for a while.

Hey, you're a human being and as such have freedom of speech, do you not?

[Gardna]

Aquamarine, on Aug 23 2007, 09:29 PM, said:

Hey, you're a human being and as such have freedom of speech, do you not?

I do and I'm aware of that, but I meant the forum rules and whether it's in accordance with them. But probably yes. I don't give a damn anyway.

[Aquamarine]

You're not the first to talk about **** here, Diddy has done so on a few occasions.

And how DARE you go to Croatia! Serbs and Croats hate each other... Though I've no special grudges against them.