[Wild Fox]

So, I'm in a dilemma. Sort of. Not really. Eh, whatever.

My ex calls me last night out of the clear blue after two and a half months of not talking. (We dated for about 2 years and went through a tough break up, fyi) He apparently realizes that he's not going to find anyone like me and wants to get back together after we sort some things out. So we're currently in the "talking" status.

But here's the thing: I'm having a bizarre feeling of deja vu. Why? Because he did the same thing LAST year. He broke up with me and a week later he's on the phone begging me to take him back.

The one thing that has thrown me for a loop is when he said that he wants to put aside all the physical s*** that got in the way of things last time. Now, when a guy tells me that he is going to resist the urge to ravage me, there's something going on. Either it's good, or it's bad. :P

I need the male opinion here. What is your interpretation of the predicament?

[Folcon]

To be honest, tell the guy to f*** off, unless you really want to take him back. But still, I say forget him and find someone else. There's plenty of fish in the sea you know. Besides, if you've already broken up twice now, a third time may just lead to more pain. But it might not. In the end, it's all up to you.

[My Best Wishes]

The guy's broken up with you, gone back, and now is trying to do the same thing?
Dump his ass. He's just using you.

[Aquamarine]

Your choice really depends on what kind of a person you are, Wild Fox. Ultimately, I think only you can choose the right answer. Still, after reading your post only one thing sprang to my mind: "Tell him to buzz off". Saying that he doesn't want sex is a lie, plain and simple.

[Caael]

"Ravage" as in sexual or as in violence?

[Moonear]

No guy will ever not want to have sex with you.He's probly lying his ass off.

[I'm Always BROKE]

That sounds pervy man. Not that I'm not a perv but this is the internet you know. :P

Anyways, you could also prevent him from playing you by playing him instead. Atleast, if you want to aswell. Have a date with him (make sure that HE pays mind you! =p) and dump him afterwards but I doubt that your the type of person doing that.

[Wild Fox]

It's probably a bad sign when people I've never met tell me that I should dump his butt! :P

I guess I should rephrase things a little. He said he still is very much physically attracted to me, but is going to put those feelings aside until we're in a more committed point in the relationship because he doesn't want it to f*** up the relationship. They really did get in the way.

So I'm thinking that I'm going to continue talking to him so that:

A. I can find out what is going on in his head
B. So I can play him along :huh:
C. And only because I have nothing better to do at this current time

My best friend put it quite nicely: it's going to take more than phone calls to win me back.

How does this sound? I really hope I'm not setting myself up for doom....

[Caael]

If you feel really cruel, just play around, make him take you places ect and he'll pay, and then tell him it's not working when he's skint.

But even by my standards that's too cruel.

[Someone Else]

Do you like him?

[Wild Fox]

I love him. That's why this is so hard.

And because of that, I could never play him by your standards, Earth Dude. (Not that it wouldn't be fun, in a sinister kind of way) Plus, we're currently geographically challenged.

[Eugine]

Never give up on true love imo. If you somehow can't find someone to replace him, then you should surely give him another chance.
As long as he wasn't abusive, manipulative and controlling I say go ahead... but just with caution. Always caution.
I repeat, try again.

[Ironsight]

Meh, I've never had a girlfreind, so my experiance on this matter is pretty limited. But i'm sure that if your relationship hasn't worked out twice already, a third time won't be any differant and will only make things more difficult than they should be.

[Aquamarine]

.eugine, on Oct 29 2007, 06:39 AM, said:

Never give up on true love imo. If you somehow can't find someone to replace him, then you should surely give him another chance.
As long as he wasn't abusive, manipulative and controlling I say go ahead... but just with caution. Always caution.
I repeat, try again.

Never give up on true love? Listen to this: A female friend of mine was for about a year and a half with this guy who would often hit and torture her. She would come to school and show me her injuries on different parts of her body. I told her to dump the son of a *****, and after a lot of contemplating that is exactly what she did. However, a few moths ago they got back together again because she loves him, and apparently he loves her. I've given up on trying to teach her some sense. So tell me: Is this true love because they both love each other?

Wild Fox, I er... Know these kinds of guys pretty well, and I say suggest you just forget about him. But as I said earlier, it's your choice. You might be thankful that you've given him another chance if you do so.

[Caael]

Well if you really do want to be with him, lay down some rules, that if he breaks, you two split up for the last time. Or something like that. It's what I did with my ex gf when she kept flirting with other guys

[Toasty]

He either really likes you and is haveing trouble realizing it himself or he's just a dumbass/jerk/selfish person. If you like him, take him back and watch him closely. Watch to see if he's acting like he did before. If you're not crazy about him, dump him and look for someone else. He's not the only guy out there, and there are other guys that are interested in more than just everything below the neck.

[Someone Else]

Give him a second chance I suppose, but lay some rules as Caael (Earth Dude) says. Also leave some rules for yourself.

Example, if you're going to get naked, for the love of god, keep it to being topless! Taking your panties off is an extremely bad idea. Trust me on this, I know from one of my female friends. I won't go into specifics because she'd kill me and it's not forum friendly...

[Aquamarine]

What are you talking about, WD? Why would she only take the upper part of her clothing off if she's going to have sex? I mean, she's 19 years old, of course she would want to sleep with her boyfriend, especially if she loves him as much as she says.

[Someone Else]

I mean like, just messing around. Not necessarily serious.

[Wild Fox]

Wind Dude, on Oct 29 2007, 08:47 PM, said:

Give him a second chance I suppose, but lay some rules as Caael (Earth Dude) says. Also leave some rules for yourself.

Example, if you're going to get naked, for the love of god, keep it to being topless! Taking your panties off is an extremely bad idea. Trust me on this, I know from one of my female friends. I won't go into specifics because she'd kill me and it's not forum friendly...

1. I've had numerous late-night, chocolate-induced girl talks with my trusted female friends and LET ME TELL YOU, some serious rules have been laid down.

2. If you are referring to what I think you're referring to, yes it is a bad idea because I've probably been there :P and no it's definitely not forum friendly.

Plus, I appreciate all the feedback. It makes the decision-making process a lot easier when I have random, unbiased people giving me their opinion. :huh:

[Mallick]

"Love is as unproblematic as a vehicle. The only problems are the drivers, the passengers and the road." Franz Kafka