[kate]

[okay so in case you live under a rock and haven't noticed me spazzing across the forums for the last month, I have IB exams. In 4 days. IB stands for International Baccalaureate, and it is known as the program that you take if you think you have a brain. So that they can show you how wrong you are. So very wrong.

In 4 days (4, like the horsemen of the apocalypse) I will commence writing 18 papers in english, history, math, chem, bio, french and physics. Like normal classes right? WRONG. EPIC FAIL. STFU. These tests are on everything I've been taught since grade 10, and this is IB teachings, which equals NOT FUN

If you really want to see how mind numbing and spine crushingly hard the IB exams are, there are practice ones available online that will DEVOUR YOUR SOUL

One of the harder exams is the history one, in which I have to write 5 essays, 2 in one sitting and 3 in another, with approx 45 minutes allowed for each.

Another is math, in which I have to write papers on calculus, matrices and vectors, without a calculator.]

alright I put that all in brackets for you tl;dr people to just skip over. For funsies these are some mock IB exam questions which are funny:

IB final exams
Instructions:
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.

History:
Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.
Be brief, concise and specific.

Medicine:
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected.
You have one hour.

Public Speaking:
2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Biology:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.

Music:
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Psychology:
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is necessary to translate.

Sociology:
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Engineering:
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Economics:
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Political Science:
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its political effects if any.

Epistemology:
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

Physics:
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Philosophy:
Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

General Knowledge:
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Okay, now that that's done NO MORE HUMOUR. YOU MUST POST IN THIS TOPIC AND YOU MAY NOT MAKE JOKES. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. Sympathy is allowed.

Seriously. I'm going to die. You have no idea.

[Zeypher]

Is it like the College version of ACTs?

[kate]

It's like giving pre-schoolers trig to do. The course material goes as in depth as 3rd year university courses, but we have to do it in high school. And now I have to recall all that crazy **** I learnt in grade ten and have rigorous exams on it.

I don't know what the ACTs are, but I swear to God, these are more difficult. You might be wondering how I know that these exams are harder than any other. That is becaused they were DESIGNED BY SATAN

[gsninja]

Lol, the normal ACTs have nothing on these. Actually, I already knew that the IB exams were like this. The fact that if you have to recall this crap without studying is ridiculous but, I admit, humorous at the same time.

[kate]

>.O NO HUMOUR. JUST PAIN AND SUFFERING.

okay yeah it was totally funny when my sis had to do them. But now I have to. There are kids having breakdowns all over the school during the day from the sheer vastness of it all. I would trade lives with anyone right now.

[Eugine]

Kate, you must be a wiz kid. The only question I think I can do there is the Physics question. GL.

[kate]

ok I'm not sure what you guys don't understand about the term "mock" but those aren't the actual exam questions. They couldn't legally ask us to remove our appendix. IB survivors made them up to show how difficult IB is, but those would actually be impossible to do, whereas the actual IB exams are just shy of impossible.

And lol, you so could not do the physics one XD

[Eugine]

So, how exactly is the exam? x.x

And yeah lol, I probably cannot do the Physics question.

[kate]

lol not because you're bad at physics, just because it's impossible. And like I said, there's some floating around online, I just get handed the practice exams. Oh but I can show you the curriculum we have to know for standard level chem

...oh yeah I forgot to mention, it's split into standard level and higher level subjects, I take higher level english, history and bio.

http://ibchem.com/IB/ibsyllabus.htm

^ chem curric.

The fun part is they don't really test on the curriculum all the time, sometimes they just toss random chem questions in there that you can't study for.

[Eugine]

Wow the syllabus looks really interesting and familiar. I guess your syllabus is more detailed though, since International Baccalaureate seems so high lvl x3.

http://www.chemguide.co.uk/
Check this site out. I studied from that site for about a year when I did chem. The syllabus looks similar

[Lightning Star]

Easy solution:

Take the SAT and go to a United States university. 10 times easier. :joy:

[kate]

haha yeah icy, I wish.

And eug, we take the same units as reg, except for a couple extra units since it's only a standard level subject, and we go a little more in depth on the subject matter. I think the biggest difference is how much the test drills about the course as opposed to reg courses. Hence why I hate IB exams, not IB....well I kinda hate IB XD

[Eugine]

Any advantage in doing IB?

[kate]

I can attend any university I want in the world (or at least the major ones because they recognize IB marks) and an 80% in IB will always be taken over an 80% in a reg class. As well I can skip many first year courses in uni

[Eugine]

Oh. Then study hard kate x.x
That's a huuuge advantage. Can save your family lots of money.

[Golden Legacy]

I've witnessed first-hand on MSN the insanity that is IB. I've taken AP exams (Advance Placement) which are similar in set-up and curriculum, but never that many at once.

Hang in there Kate. You've got this covered. :joy:

[kate]

ah thanks snookums, you're like my pillar lol. I swear I would've failed my practice math IB exam if not for you.

crazy vectors *grumbles*

and yes eug, I am studying my *** off lol. and posting...at the same time

[kate]

I post again because since I am constantly thinking of IB exams, you should be thinking about them too. So this topic does not die for another 3 days. Suck it.

[Golden Legacy]

(kate, if ever want this topic pinned, let me know)

[Ironsight]

Perhaps this comment wouldn't be welcomed here...

This post has been edited by DarkSword: 01 May 2008 - 09:22 PM

[Eugine]

Why do you always do that DS? Say what you gotta say man!

[Ironsight]

I'm just worried what I say will be taken the wrong way :\ But I guess it doesn't really matter, being a forum and all.

[kate]

yeah, speak your mind so I may tear your limbs asunder. juuust kidding, you may make comments without me killing you as long as they do not make me have a panic attack.

oh and thanks for the offer snookums but since I only need it for another 3 days I'll just let it float at the top of the common room :P

[Split Infinity]

DarkSword, on May 2 2008, 01:21 PM, said:

This post has been edited by DarkSword: Today, 01:22 PM

Wow, I didn't know you could still do that.

[kate]

Edit? or put that it's been edited?

HAY GUESS WHAT GUYS?!?! 2 MORE DAYS! Are you excited? Because I'm fscking ecstatic

[Split Infinity]

Of course I knew you could still edit; knowing me I'll probably be correcting a spelling error right after I post this. :/

[kate]

UN JOUR. That's french for "I'm fscked"

[Someone Else]

Doesn't that mean "a day"?

[kate]

yes. As in my IB exams are in one day. And I'm fscked for them. So I'm fscked and one day are synonomous.

Je suis baisse...is very literally translated to "I'm fscked" but I don't think I can use that on my french composition for the ib exams. DAMMIT WHY DID I ONLY BOTHER LEARNING SWEARS.

[kate]

omgomg first ib exam was today. It was english paper one. I think I survived *checks limbs* yeah I seem to be all here. Oh well. I kinda screwed up but kinda not so I dunno. yay?

[Drizzy Drake]

Hang in there girl. Don't die on us.

[Ironsight]

I'm sure you did fine, Kate.

[kate]

OMFG I WRITE THREE ESSAYS IN 2 AND A HALF HOURS FIRST THING TOMORROW

and the exam today was just cruel. Two of my friends broke down once they left, one spent the first half hour of the exam sobbing and another came out and rammed her head so hard against a locker that she had a huge bump afterwards and couldn't stand up properly. And she somehow managed to damage my shoulder in the process lol.

I hate my life. BUT I continue to persevere. yays.

[Split Infinity]

Just keep telling yourself that it'll be over soon. Every exam brings you one step closer!

[Laharl]

kate, on May 7 2008, 06:03 AM, said:

OMFG I WRITE THREE ESSAYS IN 2 AND A HALF HOURS FIRST THING TOMORROW

and the exam today was just cruel. Two of my friends broke down once they left, one spent the first half hour of the exam sobbing and another came out and rammed her head so hard against a locker that she had a huge bump afterwards and couldn't stand up properly. And she somehow managed to damage my shoulder in the process lol.

wow, i had no idea the drama llama was a teacher at your school

[kate]

lol I am aware there are people who make big deals out of small things. Then there are people who actually can't handle **** anymore and snap. This was the latter. Actually, one of them was just being a drama queen because I know she didn't fail. The rest were dead serious.

My hand is crippled from three essays. And math sucks, for the record.

[Golden Legacy]

*won't mention he's a math major*

[kate]

omg. my math skills failed me this morning x.x so...brutal...

but then chem was frighteningly easy. and now I'm not studying for the third chem paper because I enjoy dying :)

snookums where was your math genius when i needed it D:

[Toasty]

kate, on May 7 2008, 03:49 PM, said:

lol I am aware there are people who make big deals out of small things. Then there are people who actually can't handle **** anymore and snap. This was the latter. Actually, one of them was just being a drama queen because I know she didn't fail. The rest were dead serious.

My hand is crippled from three essays. And math sucks, for the record.

Math comes easily to me. If I had been home schooled, I might actually be in 2nd year college level math by now. But for now, I'm a freshman in Advanced Algebra. We finished Trigonometry just as I was starting to get a hang of it. D:

Give me your math homework. I don't want to do my own, but it's easy for me to do someone else's. XD

[kate]

<.< the quadratic formula is my *****.
omfg! which reminds me, I love finding area under two curves with the anti-derivatives and whatnot, and that was a question on the back of the exam worth 18 marks. And I could've kicked its ***. IF I HAD SEEN IT. grr. Two minutes left and I found it. I hate myself D:

OH WELLS I FAILED

well not chem. chem rocked. frrrrickety this topic got low on the page. I'M NOT DONE EXAMS YET PEOPLE. yeesh. Well I'm half done.

9 done, 9 to go.

[Drizzy Drake]

Awethome.

[Toasty]

Holy shiznits. That's a lot of exams. We only had 8 different WASL tests. Not shure if that's similar though.

[Split Infinity]

Wow, Kate. This totally overshadows the fact that exams start on my birthday. :(

[Ironsight]

Huh, I oly had to do 3 or 4.

[kate]

NO STUDYING FOR ME TODAY. just drinking to forget the pain D:

who votes I write my second english paper while wasted?? It can't possibly go wrong :(

lol and I love how you're all shocked that these exams are massive. I SEEM TO RECALL TELLING YOU THAT 3 PAGES AGO.

buuuut bio will be soon. and I am bio queen, so no worries. However that means that if ib decides to assrape me on the bio papers, I will have to kill myself. damn.

[Toasty]

I wrote a poem summary while high on adrenaline and insanity last year for english. The origional was too full of random awesomeness for any normal person to handle, so I dumbed smarted it down

[kate]

english tomorrow. I don't even know how you study for that, but I'm freaking out. I have to write a comparitive essay between two books I've read this year, and apparently I'm supposed to be able to quote them, even though I don't know the topic I'll be writing on. AWESOME.

[kate]

I'm still writing these bad boys. Had two bio papers today, cell resp, genetics, digestion and the circulatory system are my betches.

Have to write a paper on evolution and further human physiology tomorrow. Good thing I own both of them too. OH HAY GUESS WHAT? MICROEVOLUTION LEADS TO MACROEVOLUTION. kthxbai.

6 more papers.

[Ironsight]

kate, on May 14 2008, 05:05 PM, said:

OH HAY GUESS WHAT? MICROEVOLUTION LEADS TO MACROEVOLUTION. kthxbai.

Why does that sound familiar?

[kate]

micro macro thing? It was my msn name for ages after someone posted in the intelligent design topic with lies full of moronity.

...sadly ranting at him is actually how I know so much about evolution now.

[kate]

IB ruined bio for me. How is that even possible? If someone would like to explain thyroxin and the negative feedback that controls it, that'd be awesome.

[kate]

3 more. French was epic, I wrote 400 words in 40 minutes ranting about how stupid my principal is :P

Now I just have physics left...I'm so screwed

[Toasty]

I'm sure you aced the french IB. :P

But wow, that's one word every 6 seconds! [/lolsarcasm]

[kate]

I would've aced french, except for the minor fact that THEY LET THE FRENCH EMMERSION KIDS WRITE THE SAME TEST AS US AND WE'RE MARKED ON A BEL CURVE.

honest to god. actual french people, where french is their first language, wrote the same exam as me. I am dead.

[kate]

I WROTE MY LAST FSCKING EXAM TODAY

nothing in the history of ever has ever felt this good. You and your dog will never ever feel this kind of relief.

Er sorry for the bump, but seriously I'M FSCKING DONE

I know, you don't get it.

<.< k guess topic can be closed now

(I'm done)

[Split Infinity]

Great!

Now help me with my exams.

[Drizzy Drake]

Good job on the exams.