[Ironsight]

http://www.eduplace.com/tales/
Lawl, madlibs FTW.

[Toasty]

http://www.eduplace.com/cgi-bin/template/t...t/wwt_005.thtml


An Odd Animal
The Biztits is an animal that has Blue fur with Orange spots on its Penisi and Bewbs. Its tail is shaped like a(n) carrot which it uses to pelvic thrust bricks. An adult Biztits may weigh more than 424242424242 pounds and stand over 9001 feet high.

The Biztits can be found only in Great Britain and Kenya. Although its favorite food is sammiches, it also likes to eat house. If you ever see a(n) Biztits, be sure not to ever sing “BARBIE GIRL!!.” That song makes it steamy. Instead, give it a few sammiches and be on your way.


Yes.

[Ironsight]

Kids in Space
What if you lived on the International Space Station? Imagine your normal day as it is now, but in space!

In the morning, you get up at 1 and get dressed in your space socks and space bra. There is no gravity in space, so you float into the kitchen to eat your breakfast of dried carrots, nuts in a tube, and smashed up POTATO in a plastic space container. Then, instead of taking the bus to school, you hop into a(n) flying hotdog and orbit Earth 69 times.

In the flying hotdog,you do massive science experiments such as determining how good a(n) headless brown trout is at fighting in space. When the experiments are done, you go outside the flying hotdog for some exercise in space. You hit it outside the flying hotdog for an hour or more. When you are done exercising, you go back to the International Space Station for other activities such as b!tch slapping, running in circles, and staring contests.
You end the day by sending a(n) house to your parents via the space computer, and they tell you goodnight from Earth, down below.

[R-dog]

The Great Dough Disaster

Last summer, my friend escout got a job at the smexy Pastry Shop. For the first few weeks, he pwned the floors, tazed on the shelves, and unloaded 9000-pound sacks of flour from the delivery trucks.

Finally, Hannah Montana, the owner, told escout that she would teach him to make bread. “Now, pay attention, escout,” she said epicly. “I'll make the first batch of dough. Then you can make the next batch while I go to the bathroom.”

Poor escout! He had a habit of letting his laz0rs wander. When Hannah Montana left for the bathroom, he started to mix the ingredients. “Let me see,” he said. “I think she put in 69696969 packages of yeast.”

A short while later, the dough started fapping. It kept on fapping. escout tried to cover it with a(n) ceiling cat, but the dough wouldn't stop fapping. It was everywhere! “What can I do?” thought escout.

Just then, Hannah Montana returned from the bathroom. "escout!" she screamed. “What have you done?”

“It's not my fault,” cried escout. “The dough just started fapping and wouldn't stop.”

Hannah Montana had to let him go. Now escout has a job making cheezburgers. I don't think he'll ever eat bread again, let alone make it.


Sorry, escout. ^^

[Lemontime]

The Jesus is an animal that has purple fur with pink spots on its penis' and vagina's. Its tail is shaped like a(n) Mew which it uses to doing Mews. An adult Jesus may weigh more than Seven pounds and stand over Three feet high.

The Jesus can be found only in Africa and South Africa. Although its favorite food is Spotted ****'s, it also likes to eat Elephants. If you ever see a(n) Jesus, be sure not to ever sing “You **** me to tears.” That song makes it I don't know.. Instead, give it a few Spotted ****'s and be on your way.

I win.

[Toasty]

phail.

[Eugine]

R-dog, that was epic!

[Ironsight]

I just hate it when…

Mom serves Skittles for dinner.

My pet Idiot Wesley chews my knob.

Mr.Slave gets mad at the class for being hot.

My best friend Dipset decides to fap off with somebody else.

I get b!tch slapped for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear pancakes to school.

My favorite TV show “Family Guy” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People round-house kick into my bedroom without knocking.

[Toasty]

WTF XD

[Ironsight]

Do one Toasty, I wan't to see what you'll end up with.

[Toasty]

Things That Drive Me Bonkers
I just hate it when…

Mom serves "buns" for dinner.

My pet Liger chews my firey nuts.

Mr. T gets mad at the class for being constipated.

My best friend Mike Hunt decides to Strap on with somebody else.

I get it in the butt for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear sticky notes to school.

My favorite TV show “Robot Chicken” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People PELIC THRUST into my bedroom without knocking.

[Ironsight]

This one is dirty

The Sky Is Falling!
Each spring, the sky turns red. Giant drops of ejaculate fall from the sky. All this ejaculate helps the grass and the 8 year-olds in the basement to grow, but it can make things really sticky too.

Some places get so much ejaculate, that rivers jump into the streets. Driving can be tricky when this happens, so some people put special slavers on their cars.

And when the ejaculate is falling, don't forget your house. Otherwise, your feet might get hot if you run in puddles!

After all the ejaculate has fallen, the skies begin to scream. If you are lucky, you might see a huge internets stretched across the sky.

[Someone Else]

Jack Thompson: Welcome! This is “The Perfect Day Show”! On this show, contestants describe how they would spend their perfect day. Then the audience votes on whose perfect day sounds like the most fun. The contestant with the most votes will win a free trip to Iraq, along with 72 butts. Okay, let's get started. Contestant Number One, what is your perfect day?

Contestant Number One: Well, Jack Thompson, first I would watch Forrest Gump over 9000 times. Then I would make shrimp soup for lunch. In the afternoon, my friends and I would go doing the nasty.

Jack Thompson: Wow! Contestant Number One, that does sound like fun. Okay, Contestant Number Two?

Contestant Number Two: First I would put on my blue pair of pants. Then I would gather all my favorite disks. Together, we would take a trip to the Pikachu Adventure Park, where we would go running.

Jack Thompson: And there you have it, TV audience. Let's count the votes. It looks like Contestant Number Two is our winner. Congratulations! Is there anything you would like to say, Contestant Number Two?

Contestant Number Two: My penis is spinning! I've dreamed of going to Iraq!

Eh.

[Ironsight]

Wind Dude, on May 13 2008, 07:25 PM, said:

Contestant Number Two: My penis is spinning!

LOL

[Folcon]

R-dog, on May 13 2008, 08:58 PM, said:

The Great Dough Disaster

Last summer, my friend escout got a job at the smexy Pastry Shop. For the first few weeks, he pwned the floors, tazed on the shelves, and unloaded 9000-pound sacks of flour from the delivery trucks.

Finally, Hannah Montana, the owner, told escout that she would teach him to make bread. “Now, pay attention, escout,” she said epicly. “I'll make the first batch of dough. Then you can make the next batch while I go to the bathroom.”

Poor escout! He had a habit of letting his laz0rs wander. When Hannah Montana left for the bathroom, he started to mix the ingredients. “Let me see,” he said. “I think she put in 69696969 packages of yeast.”

A short while later, the dough started fapping. It kept on fapping. escout tried to cover it with a(n) ceiling cat, but the dough wouldn't stop fapping. It was everywhere! “What can I do?” thought escout.

Just then, Hannah Montana returned from the bathroom. "escout!" she screamed. “What have you done?”

“It's not my fault,” cried escout. “The dough just started fapping and wouldn't stop.”

Hannah Montana had to let him go. Now escout has a job making cheezburgers. I don't think he'll ever eat bread again, let alone make it.
Sorry, escout. ^^

I hate you

[Laharl]

Letter from Ima Wolf

Dear Kids,

I just want to set the record straight for you. Wolves are great animals, and for reasons you may not be aware of, we wolves get a bad rap. Every time someone gets eaten or something is stolen, who gets blamed? Wolves, that's who. Wolves aren't massive. In fact, we're quite glowing.

I'm a wolf, and I don't steal! I give things away. Every year, I donate gentials to the Moses Retirement Home. And I've never raped anyone in my life. All I do is rape merrily through the forest. Of course, once in a while, I like to rape a badger. You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun! And, as for eating anyone, that's a fairy tale. All I ever eat are eggnog.

I know how the rumors got started. This kid, I think her name is Little black rapinghood, started saying terrible things about me. OH SHI-!! She even accused me of raping her grandmother. That's a lie! Her grandmother is too gigantic for me. And as I said, I don�t eat people!

If you ever hear Little black rapinghood, or anyone else for that matter, saying something illuminous about wolves, please defend me. I need all the help I can get.

Your friend,
Ima Wolf

Lawl XD

[Someone Else]

Dear Diary,

Today was the most crazy day at school! R-dog didn't speak to me all day. I often times forgot my homework for math class. My new friend Laharl isn't talking to me anymore. And to top it all off, I forgot my lunch, so I had to borrow money to buy lunch. I hate borrowing money, I hate forgetting my homework, and I hate it when my friends don't talk to me! Jesus Christ on a bike! I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Dear Diary,

Everything was much better today. R-dog wasn't mad at me; she was just upset because her parents would not let her go to a party. She was gregarious toward everyone. My math teacher said she'd only take one point off my homework because this was the only time I'd ever forgotten anything. She said everyone makes rather small mistakes sometimes. My new friend Laharl is talking to me. He was just busy helping out a sick friend. He had to gather all of his friend's homework. My friend who loaned me the money for lunch yesterday said I didn't have to pay him back, because I had loaned him money for lunch a while ago. I hope every day is a good as today!

Zomg, this one's better XDD

Wind Dude: Today, we are interviewing a couple of animals at the zoo. I am Wind Dude and I will be your host. Our first stop is the primate area, and our first guest is Bob Octopus. Mr. Octopus, please tell us about a day at the zoo.

Octopus: Well, Wind Dude, I have many orgasmic days here at the zoo. The most orgasmic days are the ones when I get to skate with my friend Babs Boone. We RUN AWAY all day, and this is a lot of fun. We also like to make very round faces at the people and watch their reactions.

Wind Dude: Thank you, Mr. Octopus. That was very interesting. Next, we head to the pachyderm area, where we meet Elle E. Phant, a famous cheetah who has been seen on the covers of Playboy and Zoo Weekly. Hello, Ms. Phant.

Elle: 'Sup. How do I look today? Come, share some Pokemon with me. Do I look awesome to you?

Wind Dude: Why, no, Ms. Phant, you look not so awesome.

Elle: Thank you. I have to slap now. I must pack my trunk for a long trip to Uganda.

Wind Dude: Well, there you have it, folks. This has been Wind Dude reporting from the zoo. Back to you in the studio.

[Caael]

Things That Drive Me Bonkers
I just hate it when…

Mom serves Rape for dinner.

My pet Rape chews my Rape.

Rape gets mad at the class for being Rape .

My best friend Rape decides to Rape with somebody else.

I get Rape for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear Rape to school.

My favorite TV show “Rape ” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People Rape into my bedroom without knocking.

[TheEnglishman]

The Perfect Day Show
Wind Dude: Welcome! This is “The Perfect Day Show”! On this show, contestants describe how they would spend their perfect day. Then the audience votes on whose perfect day sounds like the most fun. The contestant with the most votes will win a free trip to Switzerland, along with 4 Prostitutes. Okay, let's get started. Contestant Number One, what is your perfect day?

Contestant Number One: Well, Wind Dude, first I would watch Catwoman 99992 times. Then I would make chocolate soup for lunch. In the afternoon, my friends and I would go walking.

Wind Dude: Wow! Contestant Number One, that does sound like fun. Okay, Contestant Number Two?

Contestant Number Two: First I would put on my pink shirt. Then I would gather all my favorite breasts. Together, we would take a trip to the gay Adventure Park, where we would go shooting.

Wind Dude: And there you have it, TV audience. Let's count the votes. It looks like Contestant Number Two is our winner. Congratulations! Is there anything you would like to say, Contestant Number Two?

Contestant Number Two: My eye is spinning! I've dreamed of going to Switzerland!

Kids in Space
What if you lived on the International Space Station? Imagine your normal day as it is now, but in space!

In the morning, you get up at 13:37 and get dressed in your space shoes and space bra. There is no gravity in space, so you float into the kitchen to eat your breakfast of dried sausages, toast in a tube, and smashed up cheese in a plastic space container. Then, instead of taking the bus to school, you hop into a(n) unicycle and orbit Earth 42 times.

In the unicycle,you do sexy science experiments such as determining how good a(n) tiger is at killing in space. When the experiments are done, you go outside the unicycle for some exercise in space. You crush outside the unicycle for an hour or more. When you are done exercising, you go back to the International Space Station for other activities such as pumping, raping, and dying.

You end the day by sending a(n) Switzerland to your parents via the space computer, and they tell you goodnight from Earth, down below.

I could do this all day.

[Ironsight]

Spring Cleaning!
“Rise and shine!” my mom said dry.

I looked at the calendar. “Oh great,” I sighed. “Spring Cleaning Day, my favorite.” I rolled my eyes.

Before I knew it, my brother Toasty, my sister Kate, and I had mops, penis, and buckets in our hands. Toasty started in the basement. He came up the stairs in 7 minutes with cobwebs in his hair and a large box in his hands.

“I've been looking for that box for years!” Mom exclaimed. We all took a little break to examine the contents: old photographs from my grandmother's childhood. There was even a photo of Grandma and Paris Hilton!

Well, it was back to work for us after that. Kate trudged to the garage. In 15 minutes she returned with dirt smudged on her nose and dragging a giant trunk behind her.

“Great balls of fire!,” Mom said. “It's been a long time since I've seen that!”

We grabbed a snack of cookies and BEER and opened the trunk. It had about 5 dollar foot long old vinyl records. They were too sticky! Toasty and Kate giggled as I held up one that had a singer with a particularly awful haircut on the front.

“Sure, he's no that guy on the free credit report commercial, but when I was your age, all the girls in my class had pictures of David Cook hanging in our lockers!” said Mom, smiling.

Finally, I went off to the attic. It wasn't long before I fapped downstairs with a(n) godly smile on my face and a big suitcase in my arms.

“By the power of Greyskull!,” Mom said. “I can't wait to hear what you kids have to say about this!”

We excitedly unzipped the suitcase. Toasty held up a pair of red Strap on with big daisies all over them. Kate held up a(n) blue frilly dress that had wooden shoes to match!

“Well!” Mom laughed. “I see you've found my clothes from high school. Maybe I could wear that red Strap on when I chaperone Toasty's field trip next week.”

“Maybe NOT,” Toasty replied.

I had so much fun with my mom, Toasty, and Kate that I decided that from now on, Spring Cleaning Day really would be my favorite day of the year!

[TheEnglishman]

DarkSword, on May 15 2008, 05:53 AM, said:

“Well!” Mom laughed. “I see you've found my clothes from high school. Maybe I could wear that red Strap on when I chaperone Toasty's field trip next week.”

That made me chortle.

[Aquamarine]

I just hate it when…

Mom serves roasted pEenuts for dinner.

My pet hipoop chews my whatever.

McGonagalllll gets mad at the class for being sure.

My best friend lozer decides to in yo face! with somebody else.

I get in yo face! past tense for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear thing-s to school.

My favorite TV show “pr0n” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People in yo face! present tense number 2 into my bedroom without knocking.



This sucks.

[Mallick]

Boris and Peggy-sue had a sleepover at Boris's house last weekend. Both had a lot of fun. The girls played a lot of games, but their favorite one was “Cowgirl,” since they both like riding horses so much. They pretended they were cowgirls in the Old West. They changed their names to Buckaroo Boris and Cowpoke Peggy-sue, with their trusty horses, PDM and yobyaG. They ran around the house, herding beds instead of cattle, yelling “Get along little doggies!” They practiced their roping skills, using belts and chasing the Mama Luigi around the house. Luckily, the Mama Luigi was too smart for them and hid under the couch!

Their favorite activity was singing cowgirl songs that they mostly made up as they went along, which is why they don't rhyme.

“Get along little aleins,
you move way too retardedly.
We have to get to Germany in the north of Idaho!
We have over nine thousand head of halo
to move way out West,
but you're moving too slow,
you are such a pest!”




They decided to have more sleepovers and to practice their cowgirl skills, especially their cowgirl song-writing!


Wow, I lucked out on the idaho -> halo

[TheEnglishman]

I see Youtube Poop references there...

[Mallick]

I don't.

[TheEnglishman]

Anonymous, on May 15 2008, 03:43 PM, said:

Luckily, the Mama Luigi was too smart for them and hid under the couch!

[Caael]

http://www.dsfanboy.com/media/2006/02/Sarcasm.jpg

[Mallick]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn191/Mallicklocal/new/1210108478053.jpg