[Toasty]

BUTTSEX, on May 22 2010, 10:15 AM, said:

Making a post like that is just begging for attention to your developments.

Which was exactly the point of posting it. I never make obscure posts to grab attention unless I'm trying to grab attention with an obscure post. :)


Well, I like this girl who goes to my church, and I've been trying to spend more time around her (we'll refer to her as "girl A"). I thought I was being pretty discrete about my feelings, but apparently another girl who also goes to my church has pretty good intuition and figured it out (we'll call her girl B"). Girl B pestered me continuously for days until I finally confirmed her suspicion that I was in love with Girl A. So now Girl B and I talk to each other more often and we're pretty good friends. Girl B also said that if I didn't confess to Girl A by the end of the summer, that she would literally kill me. Though I'm not too horribly worried about that, because she's a small asian girl who's at least 3 years younger than me. And I mean that in all due respect, because she's a nice girl.

Also, Girl A's younger sister who's kind of friends with Girl B is dead set on the idea that I like Girl A, even though she has no proof (and she'd be right in her assumption, but I digress).

So it's probably safe to say that Girl A probably thinks that I might like her.


This is kind of bad, because I get no feeling whatsoever that she's interested in being more than just friends. So I'm going to play it safe and just do my best to spend more time around her, and be the best gentleman and overall most interesting guy I can be to grab her attention.


And that's about it for now. Though today I consoled Girl B about her relationship troubles. Her boyfriend really is a good guy (who again, also goes to the same church), but he's kind of clueless when it comes to female emotions. Though it doesn't help that he literally gets bad stomach aches when he's stressed. Like literally bad enough to send him to the hospital (at least once). It has something to do with a medical condition involving his stomach.

Anyway, the last part paragraph was just ramblings, but you get the picture.

[Golden Legacy]

Quote

So I'm going to play it safe and just do my best to spend more time around her, and be the best gentleman and overall most interesting guy I can be to grab her attention.

You've got it absolutely right. There is no need to risk confessing your feelings to Girl A if you believe she sees the two of you as just friends. You both go to the same church, and that time alone should be enough to build up trust, interest, have her get to know you more. I'm confident that it will happen eventually, just be yourself and let the interest build up in time.

See Toasty? All you need to be is calm, rational, and logical and you will defini-

Quote

asian girl

FUCK HER HARD

[Someone Else]

Man I don't understand yellow fever. I mean, there's nothing wrong with asian chicks, I like them as much as any other girl in any race, they're cute, but...

GL, enlighten me?

[Golden Legacy]

There are now words to describe what I am feeling now after reading that.

There are pictures, however.

[Toasty]

Golden Legacy, on May 23 2010, 08:55 PM, said:

See Toasty? All you need to be is calm, rational, and logical and you will defini-
FUCK HER HARD

Lol. Wrong girl. :P

And besides, I think you already know my stance on sex.


Just seeing her at church would normally be fine, but Wednesday night youth group just finished up a few weeks ago, meaning I only see her on Sundays. Though I wish it were so, a few words with her once a week isn't going to get me anywhere.

Though Girl B is on my side, and she's trying to help me spend time around Girl A. So hopefully that'll work out somehow.


Anyway, to dig a little bit more into the situation, this is the same girl I liked a number of years ago. I got over her after a year of not getting anywhere, but in the time since then, I haven't come across anyone else who gave me the impression that a relationship with them would be worthwhile. Then I had a dream about Girl A just over last summer while in lake Tahoe, and fell in love with her again.

The difference this time is that I'm a lot more in control of my emotions, and now she's actually my friend, so I can invite her to hang out with some other friends without it being awkward.

And I can actually talk to her without being so nervous I'm about to buckle at my knees and faint. Unlike a few years ago when I was head over heels for her and utterly blinded by my emotions.


I can say that it does honestly help to go about things from a slightly more logical and objective perspective.

[Lemontime]

Toasty, on May 24 2010, 07:37 AM, said:

Which was exactly the point of posting it. I never make obscure posts to grab attention unless I'm trying to grab attention with an obscure post. :)
Well, I like this girl who goes to my church, and I've been trying to spend more time around her (we'll refer to her as "girl A"). I thought I was being pretty discrete about my feelings, but apparently another girl who also goes to my church has pretty good intuition and figured it out (we'll call her girl B"). Girl B pestered me continuously for days until I finally confirmed her suspicion that I was in love with Girl A. So now Girl B and I talk to each other more often and we're pretty good friends. Girl B also said that if I didn't confess to Girl A by the end of the summer, that she would literally kill me. Though I'm not too horribly worried about that, because she's a small asian girl who's at least 3 years younger than me. And I mean that in all due respect, because she's a nice girl.

Also, Girl A's younger sister who's kind of friends with Girl B is dead set on the idea that I like Girl A, even though she has no proof (and she'd be right in her assumption, but I digress).

So it's probably safe to say that Girl A probably thinks that I might like her.
This is kind of bad, because I get no feeling whatsoever that she's interested in being more than just friends. So I'm going to play it safe and just do my best to spend more time around her, and be the best gentleman and overall most interesting guy I can be to grab her attention.
And that's about it for now. Though today I consoled Girl B about her relationship troubles. Her boyfriend really is a good guy (who again, also goes to the same church), but he's kind of clueless when it comes to female emotions. Though it doesn't help that he literally gets bad stomach aches when he's stressed. Like literally bad enough to send him to the hospital (at least once). It has something to do with a medical condition involving his stomach.

Anyway, the last part paragraph was just ramblings, but you get the picture.

This is obviously all made up.

Toasty, we all know you don't know 3 DIFFERENT girls.

[Caael]

His left hand, his right hand and...a..fleshlight or something? :\

[gsninja]

Toasty, on May 23 2010, 02:37 PM, said:

Girl B also said that if I didn't confess to Girl A by the end of the summer, that she would literally kill me. Though I'm not too horribly worried about that, because she's a small asian girl who's at least 3 years younger than me. And I mean that in all due respect, because she's a nice girl.

HIT

THAT

SHIT

But really, GL took the words out of my mouth. Bad idea to jump right into confessing to Girl A, especially not knowing that she's into you. Good thing you know each other enough to hang out outside your church activities. Spend time, allow her to warm up to you, then stick it in her pooper while she isn't looking you'll be able to spend a nice, healthy relationship with this girl. <3

[Mallick]

Someone Else, on May 23 2010, 09:04 PM, said:

Man I don't understand yellow fever. I mean, there's nothing wrong with asian chicks, I like them as much as any other girl in any race, they're cute, but...

GL, enlighten me?

It's not often you come across [lol] something both exotic and abundant.

[Toasty]

BUTTSEX, on May 24 2010, 08:56 AM, said:

GL took the words out of my mouth. Bad idea to jump right into confessing to Girl A, especially not knowing that she's into you. Good thing you know each other enough to hang out outside your church activities. Spend time, allow her to warm up to you, then you'll be able to spend a nice, healthy relationship with this girl. <3

Well, that's pretty much been the idea. Good to hear I'm not the only one who thought it was a good one though. Well, besides Girl B, at least.

[Toasty]

So, through some back channels, I confirmed my suspicion that Girl A is uninterested in me (or anyone else, for that matter).

However, I'm too emotionally attached. I'm going to continue to try and spend more time around her and see where things go. It'd be great if we could at least become better friends.

So yeah, there's an update.

[Caael]

Welcome to 90% of girls ever.

[I'm Always BROKE]

Getting friend-zoned is pretty bad. But usually I don't even make it that far. :)

[Sea of Time]

I still say you fuck the Asian one.

And then later you can friend zone yourself.

[Someone Else]

Once you're friendzoned you're pretty much screwed dude. You might still have a chance at this point, but not a very good one. Never hurts to have more female friends though, it makes you more attractive to other chicks.

[Golden Legacy]

It never hurts to also keep building that relationship despite being "just friends". It could end up meaning a lot nonetheless, and better to have a great friend out of it than just to give up and have even a basic friendship fade away.

Plus, perhaps she'll be open in the future. Who knows.

Sea of Time, on May 30 2010, 06:46 PM, said:

I still say you fuck the Asian one.

And then later you can friend zone yourself.

This, I am in agreement with. Wind Dude, where's that seal of approval?

[Someone Else]

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z84/WindDude/sealofdisapproval4.png

[Aquamarine]

Someone Else, on May 31 2010, 07:23 AM, said:

Once you're friendzoned you're pretty much screwed dude. You might still have a chance at this point, but not a very good one. Never hurts to have more female friends though, it makes you more attractive to other chicks.

Not to mention that by having female friends you get to meet their female friends. Which means more chicks for you. That's actually one of the main reasons I hang out with my female friends.

[Toasty]

http://www.goldensun-syndicate.net/forum/public/style_images/gssv3/snapback.png' alt='View Post' />Someone Else, on May 30 2010, 11:03 PM, said:

(o.<)d

[Golden Legacy]

Just thought I'd update and say said girl and I are no longer together, as of about a week and a half/two weeks ago.

[Gio]

I had a thing for this girl. She found out, told me that she liked me to, but that she wasn't going to date me. Personally I am not to bothered by it, but my friends that know about it, got really mad at her. Sorta humorous.

[Someone Else]

@GL may I ask what happened?

[Mallick]

Gio, on Jun 10 2010, 08:40 AM, said:

I had a thing for this girl. She found out, told me that she liked me to, but that she wasn't going to date me. Personally I am not to bothered by it, but my friends that know about it, got really mad at her. Sorta humorous.

Did she have a reason?

[Golden Legacy]

Someone Else, on Jun 11 2010, 02:42 AM, said:

@GL may I ask what happened?

Started around finals week. I informed her that I wouldn't be able to spend too much time with her as I needed to study (I'm taking many more credits than she is), and at first seemed all right. She seemed miffed that I could not spend time with her more though, and repeatedly kept asking 'why' it had to be that I shut her out, and took it as a personal vendetta against her.

Also, I mentioned to her that I was considering transferring soon to a better school now that my financial situation has improved, and again, she was shocked and somehow insisted that I was not caring enough, that I was looking 'past her', and so forth.

Didn't help also when saw me in a study group with a girl friend (note the space), which somehow seemed to add to all this.

It sounds a bit petty, but she was going through some genuine family issues I found out (which she never clearly articulated even when I would ask her to update me and just let me know how she is) because she felt... 'disconnected', in her own words? All the above just sort of contributed to a growing sense of helplessness and negligence that she perceived from me, that I really sort of cast her aside when she needed it most... I don't know. It's a bit confusing still, we're through romantically but we're still friends and we've talked a good bit about what she's going through.

And so forth.

[Gio]

Mike Babcock, on Jun 11 2010, 05:01 AM, said:

Did she have a reason?

Other than she just didn't want to date right now, no. It was weird. I guess you could say it was bittersweet, because I got told that she liked me, but she didn't want to date me. Weirdest feeling in the world.

[Someone Else]

@GL, hmm that seems like bad luck. I hope your ex sorts out her problems. At least the breakup seemed mostly civil.

[Toasty]

I'm going on vacation to a cabin this summer with my family, and my sister's boyfriend's family (they're a really good family. I'd love to have them as in-laws, actually). Though I've only met her boyfriend's younger sister (about my age, a grade ahead though) a few times, we've talked quite a bit via text and facebook.

We we're talking today about how I know some Japanese (she seems interested in learning it a bit), and how we're both planning on getting jobs over the summer (I think she already has one?), and specifically how said jobs might keep us away from going to the cabin on vacation. Because of her summer job, she would have to drive by herself and arrive a day late or something to get to the cabin. This is kind of a problem since she recently rolled her car (about a month ago I think), and though unscathed, is still afraid of driving.

To cut to the chase, part of the convo went something like this:

Me: I'll teach you Japanese!

Her: That would be awesome! Except one problem; sadly, I'll be at my summer job instead of the cabin

Me: What? I thought you were just coming later? Though I might end up in a similar boat myself, since I'm trying to get a job over the summer as well.

Her: Well, I was going to until I got in my accident. I don't know if I'll be ready to drive that far, but if somehow I get the courage, I'll try to come for the weekend.

Me: Well you should. It'll help you get used to long distance driving again. Besides, you'll get to learn a new language too. =O

Her: Lol, ok I'll try, but let me know if you get a summer job, 'cause I don't want to make the drive if you're not at the cabin. It won't be any fun.

I mention how the job I'm applying for won't necessarily keep me from the cabin, she replies "Oh I see, well let me know then." I say "K"


She also happens to be pretty good looking, though I already kind of have my heart set on someone else, despite being friend-zoned.

To me, it seems like she's saying she's interested in me, but I might just be jumping to conclusions. However to be honest, while I do find her somewhat attractive, I don't know her very well, and what I hear from sister suggests that she could use a little growing up to do. Not that I don't need to myself, but I stopped throwing tantrums when I got into middle school. =\ Though like I said, I don't know her very well, so it might not even be a problem. I'm probably just more cool-headed than she is.


Opinions? And please refrain from suggesting that I "hit that," because that's not gonna happen.

[Aquamarine]

Toasty, why do you seem to keep denying yourself the possibility of a girlfriend? You're a human being, and human beings have needs: both emotional and sexual. You are not different.

I suggest you get to know her a bit better. Don't take for granted what her sister said, you can never really trust what other people tell you. She might be a wonderful person, and obviously you like talking to her and spending time together.

As for not knowing her very well, like I said, get to know her, but why would you even need to know someone really well in order to have some fun with her? And by fun I don't mean necessarily sex. Chatting is fun as well, and a kiss or two won't kill you, nor is it a blasphemy of any kind.

And as for having your heart set on a girl who has friend-zoned you, you can't set your life on pause because of that. Who knows, perhaps a single kiss from this new girl will be enough to make you completely forget about the one you have feelings for now.

As for me, I'm having regular sex. And I'm loving it.

[Lemontime]

Toasty, on Jun 21 2010, 09:02 PM, said:

Her: Well, I was going to until I got in my accident. I don't know if I'll be ready to drive that far, but if somehow I get the courage, I'll try to come for the weekend.

Courage / hope / bullshit. Bone her (think about how she's a potential SISTER IN LAW (I think, I don't know how that shit works)) and ditch her, churchy.

[Someone Else]

She's acknowledging your existance, you're not friendzoned yet, you act like you're interested. Quit this reluctance you always seem to have and GO FOR BROKE

[Toasty]

*shrug*

I think it'd be kinda weird if I started dating my sister's boyfriend's little sister, though. I mean, there's gotta be a bro code for that or something. :P

Seriously though, I still really, really like the other girl that friend-zoned me. And I think I MIGHT still have a chance with her. Depends on a few things.


I dunno, maybe my indecisiveness will doom me to the life of a bachelor forever. =O

[Wild Fox]

I'll add the woman's touch :)

To be 100% honest, most of the conversation to me read "I'm not into you that way." She seems to be making multiple excuses for not going which don't technically correlate with each other. If she said she couldn't go because of the summer job AND her lack of transportation because she needs money to purchase a new ride from the job that would be different. Us females throw out different excuses to throw boys off the trail.

Toasty, on Jun 21 2010, 04:02 AM, said:

Her: Lol, ok I'll try, but let me know if you get a summer job, 'cause I don't want to make the drive if you're not at the cabin. It won't be any fun.

This definitely warrants some further investigation! As a girl, I wouldn't say that to a guy unless I was somewhat interested.

Here's what I think you should do: commit to going to the cabin, job or no job. Since she sounds like she needs a ride, offer her a ride. That will show her that you really want her to come with you and it shows that you're concerned and sympathetic about her situation. We go nuts for guys that are offering a helping hand.

Details on the girl that friend-zoned you? I hate the friend zone, it's basically the kiss of death.

And don't think that indecisiveness will doom you to the single life! It took me two years to find someone and I'm soooooo happy. Patience, persistence (not stalking!), and confidence are the three keys to success! Good luck and keep me posted!

[Lemontime]

Toasty, on Jun 22 2010, 12:07 PM, said:

I think it'd be kinda weird if I started dating my sister's boyfriend's little sister, though. I mean, there's gotta be a bro code for that or something. :P

Inlawcest.

[Wild Fox]

PS: For you, I consulted the actual Bro Code. It states:

"4.If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your Bro specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're Bro's sister.
However, if it's your Bro's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come."

See Google for a reference.

[Toasty]

Wild Fox, on Jun 21 2010, 08:28 PM, said:

I'll add the woman's touch :)

To be 100% honest, most of the conversation to me read "I'm not into you that way." She seems to be making multiple excuses for not going which don't technically correlate with each other. If she said she couldn't go because of the summer job AND her lack of transportation because she needs money to purchase a new ride from the job that would be different. Us females throw out different excuses to throw boys off the trail.
This definitely warrants some further investigation! As a girl, I wouldn't say that to a guy unless I was somewhat interested.

Here's what I think you should do: commit to going to the cabin, job or no job. Since she sounds like she needs a ride, offer her a ride. That will show her that you really want her to come with you and it shows that you're concerned and sympathetic about her situation. We go nuts for guys that are offering a helping hand.

Details on the girl that friend-zoned you? I hate the friend zone, it's basically the kiss of death.

And don't think that indecisiveness will doom you to the single life! It took me two years to find someone and I'm soooooo happy. Patience, persistence (not stalking!), and confidence are the three keys to success! Good luck and keep me posted!

It's kinda hard to offer her a ride when I don't have my license (parents say I need a job first, which I consider reasonable), and she lives on the other side of the state. :P

Details on the girl who friend-zoned me: I've known her for like, 7 or 8 years now, I fell in love with her once in Middle school but was way too nervous to even talk to her (though she new it at the time and wasn't interested), but I gave up after a year or so of not doing anything about it. The emotions came rushing back to me after I had a dream about her over last summer (about 5 years after I gave up).

She goes to my church, but not my school, so while I do see her from time to time (usually about once or twice a week), I don't see her very often. Also, though she used to be more friendly towards me, I noticed that she started distancing herself right about the time that her younger sister pointed out to her that [her younger sister] was pretty sure I liked [the girl who friend-zoned me].

Not quite sure what to thin about that other than A: She doesn't want to get involved with me because she doesn't want to have to turn me down up front, or (if I'm lucky) B: she was actually taken aback by the thought that I might like her, and she's kind of nervous about it herself. Though I kind of find the latter to be the less likely outcome of the two. She pretty much doesn't talk to me anymore at all. )':

[Blue]

Guess I should up date my relationship status while I'm still here.
I've been dating some one now for almost three months. We've actually have a bit in common and have been pretty close. She's kind hearted and weird and funny and yeah. It's been great. =)

[Toasty]

Update: I'm thinking that maybe I was to quick to judge the situation. We're currently on a trip to a theme park with our youthgroup, and she doesn't really seem to be avoiding me. Though she's also not starting up any conversations with me. On a side note, we're the only people from our grade on the trip.

[gsninja]

Toasty, on Jun 22 2010, 10:39 AM, said:

Update: I'm thinking that maybe I was to quick to judge the situation. We're currently on a trip to a theme park with our youthgroup, and she doesn't really seem to be avoiding me. Though she's also not starting up any conversations with me. On a side note, we're the only people from our grade on the trip.

That's a good sign. People love to stick with the people of their grade almost exclusively, so you've got a bit of a chance to warm up to her a bit, see if you can ease into a conversation. You have enough in common with her, right?

[Wild Fox]

Agreed. Capitalize on this opportunity. It takes people a while to warm up to each other. My mom loves to remind me that when I met all of the boys I dated I said something along the lines of "I'm just not feeling it..." or "I don't know how I feel about him." right after hanging out with them on the first date or so. The last quote being what I said about the current guy I'm dating and I'm totally nuts about him now. So give her some time, she might be feeling the same way. Let us know how the day trip goes! :) (I love living vicariously through other people!!)

Ack, bummer about the ride situation.

[Toasty]

Yeah, though our youth group is kind of tight knit, regardless of grade.

But oh man, I don't know what to do right now. The rest of our group is swimming and it's just us two right now lounging on the beach lounger things. Though I think she's resting.

Basically, now would be a pretty good time to confess, but I don't think I can do it. :'(

[Wild Fox]

Nah, don't say anything right now. Just play it cool and hang out.

[Toasty]

Aaaaaaand that's exactly what ended up happening. Though I'm kind of beating myself up over it, I think it was better that I didn't do it at that moment in time.

Though I'm very satisfied that I got to spend a significant amount of time talking with her today. I think it went well. I just hope it causes her to think about me, because if I can't get her to even think about me when we're not at least in the same room, I have no hope.

[Gio]

@Toasty
If I were you I would just sit back, and see what happens. I wouldn't read to much into small little minute details. People latch on the a little detail, and claim that it means something significant. At the same time you don't want to completely back off.
That's just what I would do though. Do whatever you want.

[Blue]

Toasty i'm gonna tell you something, too many times have I sat back and done nothing. Too many times have I thought I'll just wait and see how she feels. Yeah that has never worked out for me in the past. With Allison, I was like fuck it, I'm asking her out. I like the end result of that.

[Wild Fox]

To play the devil's advocate though, the guy I'm currently dating waited a year to ask me out. I'm glad he did because it was bad timing for me when we first met....

[Eugine]

Would you date an ex? And uh, as a girl, would you find it weird if a guy you don't know suddenly started talking to you on the streets?

[Wild Fox]

1. NO. I tried that and it ended horribly. Probably because my ex is a flaming d$#@&^bag. But there's a reason why you and said person are exes. And I'm sure it's a good reason. Let sleeping dogs lie.

2. Depends on what the guy says to me/how creepy he is. I mean, if the guy has no teeth and smells like old Taco Bell, yes I would be creeped out. But if it's a normal guy striking up a normal conversation, no it's not weird.

[Aquamarine]

Eugine, on Jun 24 2010, 02:14 AM, said:

Would you date an ex?

Having read what Wild Fox said, I just wanted to add that women hook up with their exes all the time. Those are most often one night stands and not actual dating, but still, what I'm saying is that women give themselves very easily to their exes.

[Someone Else]

Aquamarine, on Jun 24 2010, 04:09 AM, said:

Having read what Wild Fox said, I just wanted to add that women hook up with their exes all the time. Those are most often one night stands and not actual dating, but still, what I'm saying is that women give themselves very easily to their exes.

Unfortunately.

[Wild Fox]

Aquamarine, on Jun 24 2010, 04:09 AM, said:

Having read what Wild Fox said, I just wanted to add that women hook up with their exes all the time. Those are most often one night stands and not actual dating, but still, what I'm saying is that women give themselves very easily to their exes.

SsSSssSsSssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I blame all of it on mango margaritas, the hot tub at Emerald Pointe, and my ex.

But aside from that we did try to make things work. It worked for two weeks. But you know, when your ex tries to date you AND another girl at the same time things tend to not work out..nice observation tho Aqua. ;)

[Aquamarine]

Why thank you my dear.

[Blue]

Oh yeah failed to mention this earlier but I'm no longer a virgin.
So... yeah. xD

[Golden Legacy]

Blue, on Jun 25 2010, 04:14 PM, said:

Oh yeah failed to mention this earlier but I'm no longer a virgin.

There is only one way to properly grasp the moment.

[Blue]

Golden Legacy, on Jun 25 2010, 01:33 PM, said:

There is only one way to properly grasp the moment.

xD
Yeah, well since me and her are still at home we have to try extra hard to find a place... ;)

[gsninja]

Blue, on Jun 25 2010, 01:14 PM, said:

Oh yeah failed to mention this earlier but I'm no longer a virgin.
So... yeah. xD

Ain't it a hoot?

Congrats, though. Was it wild? I bet it was wild. ;)

[Blue]

Well, we couldn't be loud, we were in her back yard and her parents room is pretty close to it. xD

[gsninja]

Aw. ): Still, good job nonetheless haha. Hope it was worth it as your first.

Met this pretty hot girl while at a friend's party last night. As it turns out, she has a knack for attracting massive douchebags to be her boyfriend. I ended up not going far with her because she was never clear about whether she had a boyfriend or not and she had to leave early before I got direct with her.

Baaaaaaaaw

[Caael]

2ish months with my girlfriend now, goooooood times, although she literally raped me yesterday when we got in from a party really tired.

[Wild Fox]

Caael, on Jun 28 2010, 07:39 AM, said:

2ish months with my girlfriend now, goooooood times, although she literally raped me yesterday when we got in from a party really tired.

You sound almost as if that's a bad thing ;)

1 month with my guy. He's a silly silly boy and I heart him. Nothing terribly steamy yet. But we're going camping in 2 weeks...call of the wild hehehe

[Aquamarine]

Four months with my lass. Longest relationship I've ever had. She's great, very good-hearted and intelligent. Attractive as well of course.

[I'm Always BROKE]

You fuckers.

Literally, of coarse. ;)

[Blue]

Wild Fox, on Jun 28 2010, 08:56 PM, said:

You sound almost as if that's a bad thing ;)

1 month with my guy. He's a silly silly boy and I heart him. Nothing terribly steamy yet. But we're going camping in 2 weeks...call of the wild hehehe

I was hoping for the same thing on my camping trip. Unfortunately it was her time of the month just as we were leaving. >.<

[Aquamarine]

Fucking hate "that time of the month". Always ruins what would otherwise be a perfect evening.

[Toasty]

You horny *******s. Hasn't anyone told you that waiting until after marriage makes the sex a million times better? >;)

Though you're also supposed to refrain from masturbating until then to get the full effect.

[Caael]

Aquamarine, on Jun 29 2010, 08:39 PM, said:

Fucking hate "that time of the month". Always ruins what would otherwise be a perfect evening.

I know, this weekend was slightly dulled by her being on :|

Although she's getting a coil implanted soon which as far as I'm aware withholds them indefinitely. No more sexless weekends for me ;)

[Someone Else]

*considers renaming this "Sex, relationships, and Ego boosting topic" again*

[Wild Fox]

You guys think you hate "that time of the month"??!! Don't even get me started....

[gsninja]

Toasty, on Jun 29 2010, 01:53 PM, said:

Though you're also supposed to refrain from masturbating until then to get the full effect.

Refraining from masturbation until marriage? Anyone who does that deserves a medal with the prestige of something like the Nobel Peace Prize.

[Caael]

Wild Fox, on Jun 29 2010, 10:10 PM, said:

You guys think you hate "that time of the month"??!! Don't even get me started....

It's gotta suck for you girls as well but it's more of an inconvenience for us more than anything :B

[Mallick]

Toasty, on Jun 29 2010, 01:53 PM, said:

You horny *******s. Hasn't anyone told you that waiting until after marriage makes the sex a million times better? >;)

Though you're also supposed to refrain from masturbating until then to get the full effect.

x years of waiting for what would probably end up being less than a minute of satisfaction? Have fun.

[Toasty]

Sounds good to me. :D

BUTTSEX, on Jun 29 2010, 02:31 PM, said:

Refraining from masturbation until marriage? Anyone who does that deserves a medal with the prestige of something like the Nobel Peace Prize.

I know some people in high school who have never masturbated. And before anyone claims they're lying, I have every reason to believe they're telling the truth.

Also, a little while back I went three weeks without beating the meat. I'm at about two and a half weeks right now though.

[Lightning Star]

I can imagine unleashing years of sexual frustration would probably be very satisfying, but some guys are just too horny to hold out.

As for me, I went on a date about 2 weeks ago but it I wasn't really interested in the guy. Any time I'd say I did something, he had to tell me how he did it too, and did it better (basically). When we were planning the date and discussing what we could do, he jokingly suggested "****ing behind taco bell". I wish I had agreed seriously just so I wouldn't have to spend the night listen to him gabber about he's god's gift to mankind.

I think i've finally reached the point where I'm just "fuck relationships". If I do get involved with a guy, it'll only be in the form of a hookup. I'm gonna wait until I'm done with school and until guys grow up a bit to get in a serious relationship. Plus, I've noticed I've changed a lot just in the last few months--in 3 years I'll probably be a different person.

[Wild Fox]

BUTTSEX, on Jun 29 2010, 02:31 PM, said:

Refraining from masturbation until marriage? Anyone who does that deserves a medal with the prestige of something like the Nobel Peace Prize.

AMEN.

Toasty: seriously, good call. I took a 2 year break from relationships. Yeah I tried, I went on a couple of dates but only to get free dinner and/or drinks. But taking a break to reset is such a good plan. Don't waste the pretty!

[Mallick]

While we're on the topic of silly subjects, how many of you guys take off your clothes before you shit?

According to 4chan its more popular than people would admit.

[Toasty]

I only do it on rare occasions. Like if I decide to sleep in just my boxers and then decide I have to take a dump. Or if I'm about to take a shower.

Not very often though.

[Lemontime]

That's fucking weird.

1 year and 4 months with my gurrrrlllll on friday. COOL.

[Someone Else]

Mike Babcock, on Jun 29 2010, 11:47 PM, said:

While we're on the topic of silly subjects, how many of you guys take off your clothes before you shit?

According to 4chan its more popular than people would admit.

I can swear you asked us this before...

@ the masturbation topic I only started masturbating at the beginning of my senior year. I shit you not.

[Aquamarine]

Caael, on Jun 29 2010, 11:05 PM, said:

Although she's getting a coil implanted soon which as far as I'm aware withholds them indefinitely. No more sexless weekends for me :)

Ouch. That can't be healthy.

Toasty, on Jun 29 2010, 10:53 PM, said:

You horny *******s. Hasn't anyone told you that waiting until after marriage makes the sex a million times better? >;)

Though you're also supposed to refrain from masturbating until then to get the full effect.

You're an idiot. Seriously.

[Mallick]

Someone Else, on Jun 30 2010, 02:05 AM, said:

I can swear you asked us this before...

@ the masturbation topic I only started masturbating at the beginning of my senior year. I shit you not.

Haha I probably made a topic about it. Personally I DO take off any long sleeved shirts when I take shits. Just feels weird wearing a long sleeve and sitting on the john.

[Caael]

Aquamarine, on Jun 30 2010, 11:18 AM, said:

Ouch. That can't be healthy.

I thought so too but it's what the pill does, just releases the chemicals and hormones restricting them gradually, rather than in controlled bursts.

She's getting it done this coming monday, and wants me to go with her. I will, but I imagine it'll be pretty awkward.

[gsninja]

Mike Babcock, on Jun 29 2010, 11:47 PM, said:

While we're on the topic of silly subjects, how many of you guys take off your clothes before you shit?

According to 4chan its more popular than people would admit.

No kidding haha.

I'll take off all my clothes if I'm not wearing a shirt, usually. If I'm home alone, it's probably half-and-half that I'll strip, even with a shirt.

[Wild Fox]

Mike Babcock, on Jun 29 2010, 11:47 PM, said:

While we're on the topic of silly subjects, how many of you guys take off your clothes before you shit?

According to 4chan its more popular than people would admit.

BUTTSEX, on Jun 30 2010, 03:41 PM, said:

No kidding haha.

I'll take off all my clothes if I'm not wearing a shirt, usually. If I'm home alone, it's probably half-and-half that I'll strip, even with a shirt.

You guys REALLY need to add some fiber to your diet. Your poops should not be that strenuous....... ;)

[Ironsight]

Mike Babcock, on Jun 29 2010, 11:47 PM, said:

While we're on the topic of silly subjects, how many of you guys take off your clothes before you shit?

According to 4chan its more popular than people would admit.

Not me. Too much of a...
http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/6534/horatio460pale.jpg
Pain in the ass.

[Lightning Star]

Wild Fox, on Jun 30 2010, 09:50 PM, said:

You guys REALLY need to add some fiber to your diet. Your poops should not be that strenuous....... :P

For some reason, even after reading the previous posts, this made me seriously laugh out loud. :lol: well said!

[Wild Fox]

OK gentlemen, I'm in need of some advice.

So the guy I've been dating is amazing! He puts up with all my silliness and totally accepts me for who I am. Problem is I'm such a pill sometimes that I don't think I show my appreciation for him enough. How do you think I can let him know that I really appreciate him? And no, sex is not a correct answer. haha I'm trying to think OUTSIDE the box :P

[Sea of Time]

Men like sex more than anything. If you want to think outside the "box" you could go oral.

...okay, just kidding. My girlfriend has paid for dates in the past to show appreciation, you could plan a night on the town and surprise him by paying! Wear some nice clothes, show him that you mean what you're doing and he'll respond. That's my advice!

[Mallick]

Wild Fox, on Jul 6 2010, 11:05 PM, said:

OK gentlemen, I'm in need of some advice.

So the guy I've been dating is amazing! He puts up with all my silliness and totally accepts me for who I am. Problem is I'm such a pill sometimes that I don't think I show my appreciation for him enough. How do you think I can let him know that I really appreciate him? And no, sex is not a correct answer. haha I'm trying to think OUTSIDE the box :P

Obviously you don't appreciate him as much as you say you do.

[Lemontime]

Anal.

[ThankMeLater]

ass to mouth?

[Mallick]

ThankMeLater, on Jul 11 2010, 02:37 PM, said:

ass to mouth?

That's love right there.

[ThankMeLater]

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth.

[Wild Fox]

Well, I guess that answers my question hahahaha. I shouldn't have expected anything less. :P

SOT, I like the way you think! I'm definitely going to do that.

[Lightning Star]

the closer they are to at least 20, the closer you'll get to an actual appropriate response. Though...what can you expect from a forum full of hormonal boys? :P

[Mallick]

Rainbow Spaz, on Jul 13 2010, 08:53 PM, said:

the closer they are to at least 20, the closer you'll get to an actual appropriate response. Though...what can you expect from a forum full of hormonal boys? :P

Yeah, blame our immaturity and hormones for replying to troll bait.

[ThankMeLater]

Rainbow Spaz, on Jul 13 2010, 09:53 PM, said:

the closer they are to at least 20, the closer you'll get to an actual appropriate response. Though...what can you expect from a forum full of hormonal boys? :P

i'm 19, fuck what you say

[Wild Fox]

Well, I made a picnic for us today and he felt very appreciated. No sex required. Though it's not a bad thing to throw in either :P

[Aquamarine]

You know, women tend to be annoyed and pisses off for absolutely no reason when talking to their boyfriends. Just don't do that and it will mean a lot to him.

[Lightning Star]

Aquamarine, on Jul 14 2010, 11:12 AM, said:

You know, women tend to be annoyed and pisses off for absolutely no reason when talking to their boyfriends. Just don't do that and it will mean a lot to him.

While I could argue that there is almost always a reason, I get what you mean. More like, don't get upset at stupid shit. Only if it gets to be a habit and hard to overlook.

[Wild Fox]

Solid advice. He's amazing though and in these two months has yet to give me any drama and hence a reason to make me angry. He makes me feel quite the opposite. :P I'm making him dinner next weekend as I've heard guys like it when girls cook a homemade dinner for them!

[Aquamarine]

Wild Fox, on Jul 15 2010, 10:26 AM, said:

Solid advice. He's amazing though and in these two months has yet to give me any drama and hence a reason to make me angry. He makes me feel quite the opposite. :P I'm making him dinner next weekend as I've heard guys like it when girls cook a homemade dinner for them!

I believe the guy likes it if the girl actually knows how to cook though.

Anyhow, seeing as its been two months, have you slept with him? Because really, that IS now the best way to show him appreciation if you haven't yet, and I'm not talking from the horny guy point of view.

[Lightning Star]

sooooo, I snuck out of my house last night to hang out with some friends, and I ended up catching up with a childhood friend and had a blast hanging out with him. My friend who picked me up from my house had to go home early, so he offered to drive me home. He said he was tired and was going to take me home, but then confessed to me in the car that he wanted to hang out with me alone and told me how he liked me when we were kids and still does.

So then we went back to his apartment and hung out and were talking about relationships and stuff, and he basically asked me to be his girlfriend. I've known the guy 10 years, so I figured, hell why not.

Theeennnn stuff happened and I didn't get home until about 4 am :P

[ThankMeLater]

you little slut.

[Lightning Star]

Slut? no no. Sluts have STD'S. I just have hormones. Big difference :P

[ThankMeLater]

slut (sluht)
noun

1. A) a person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
B ) a woman prostitute.

2. a slovenly woman; a slattern.

By definition, yes yes, it fits, and nowhere does it mention STD's. Double loss.

[Someone Else]

Oh, Icy... what happened to what you said about guys and relationships before? :/

[Mallick]

Someone Else, on Jul 15 2010, 01:56 PM, said:

Oh, Icy... what happened to what you said about guys and relationships before? :/

Take my advice. Don't question her. >_<

[Lightning Star]

@dipsy
1. i'm not sexually promiscuous--I was in a relationship before I did anything with a guy,
2. I'm not a prostitute, as I am not selling my body for money, and
3. what the fuck is a slattern?

oh double standards. gotta love them. A guy scores on the first date, and everyone thinks he's some kinda winner. A girl scores on the first date, she's a slut.

(btw, not angry. just pointing out flaws in your logic :P)

@WD: there are exceptions. If I've known a guy since I was 10 years old, and he has never let me down in that time, I feel a lot safer maybe dipping my toes back into the water, versus some random guy i meet on campus. And I'm not really emotionally attached yet, but by definition we are in a relationship, as there is some sort of connection and exclusivity.

@Percy: you know me well <3

[ThankMeLater]

Rainbow Spaz, on Jul 15 2010, 07:41 PM, said:

@dipsy
1. i'm not sexually promiscuous--I was in a relationship before I did anything with a guy,
2. I'm not a prostitute, as I am not selling my body for money, and
3. what the fuck is a slattern?

oh double standards. gotta love them. A guy scores on the first date, and everyone thinks he's some kinda winner. A girl scores on the first date, she's a slut.

(btw, not angry. just pointing out flaws in your logic :P)

@WD: there are exceptions. If I've known a guy since I was 10 years old, and he has never let me down in that time, I feel a lot safer maybe dipping my toes back into the water, versus some random guy i meet on campus. And I'm not really emotionally attached yet, but by definition we are in a relationship, as there is some sort of connection and exclusivity.

@Percy: you know me well <3

i'm sure you have been, at one point in your life, so don't try to negate that.
okay, got me on that one
slattern - noun - a slovenly woman or girl; slut

and naw, he's still a slut, he can just get away with it easier.

[Wild Fox]

Heyyy, girls have needs too!!! You go get 'em, Icy!

She's not a slut. And if she is, then so am I by that standard. But hey, at least we're getting some this Saturday night :P

[Caael]

Gf goes on holiday tomorrow to Israel for FIVE WEEKS. How laaaame is that.

[Toasty]

Wild Fox, on Jul 14 2010, 12:46 AM, said:

Well, I made a picnic for us today and he felt very appreciated. No sex required. Though it's not a bad thing to throw in either :P

Thumbs up to the first part. I'd have to disagree with the second part though, but that's just me. :O

[ThankMeLater]

Wild Fox, on Jul 15 2010, 11:57 PM, said:

She's not a slut. And if she is, then so am I by that standard. But hey, at least we're getting some this Saturday night :P

yeah, me too.. im not like toasty.

Toasty, on Jul 16 2010, 01:47 AM, said:

Thumbs up to the first part. I'd have to disagree with the second part though, but that's just me. :O

and speak of the devil.. are you EVER gonna get laid?

[Aquamarine]

ThankMeLater, on Jul 16 2010, 01:55 PM, said:

and speak of the devil.. are you EVER gonna get laid?

What kind of question is that? Of course he will, when he gets married. The real question is "are you EVER gonna get married?" You should really ask yourself that.

Rainbow Spaz, on Jul 16 2010, 03:41 AM, said:

@WD: there are exceptions. If I've known a guy since I was 10 years old, and he has never let me down in that time, I feel a lot safer maybe dipping my toes back into the water, versus some random guy i meet on campus. And I'm not really emotionally attached yet, but by definition we are in a relationship, as there is some sort of connection and exclusivity.

Lol, reminds me a situation I was in recently. There was this girl who was my absolute best friend for around 7 months last year. we were inseparable, we did everything together, we even slept most nights in the same bed, we would fall asleep in each others arms. But she was literally like a sister to me, and nothing ever happened between us, nor did I ever even think of making a move, simply never crossed my mind.
Then came February of this year and suddenly, completely out of the blue, she said she's very much in love with me and wants to be with me. I was fucking confused, but that doesn't matter, the point of what I'm saying is that she wanted to sleep with me the same evening she told me about her feelings because she felt she knew me well enough and knew I would never just take advantage of her.



But seeing as you don't have feelings for him, it's kind of a different situation. Congratulations Icy on ruining a 10 year old friendship because of sex.

[ThankMeLater]

Aquamarine, on Jul 16 2010, 07:32 AM, said:

What kind of question is that? Of course he will, when he gets married. The real question is "are you EVER gonna get married?" You should really ask yourself that.

I thought I was losing you there, but you brought it back at the end. here, have a sexy nurse.

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/19902.jpg

[gsninja]

Caael, on Jul 15 2010, 11:45 PM, said:

Gf goes on holiday tomorrow to Israel for FIVE WEEKS. How laaaame is that.

Hahaha, sorry that you have to wait.

One of my friends is in a very similar situation. His girlfriend went to tour Europe for five weeks and is gonna be back in, like, a week now. He's been sad about it, poor guy. :P

[ThankMeLater]

caael's gonna really remember what jerking off feels like the next 5 weeks.

[Caael]

Hey I'm going to miss her as a person and not the sexual stu- oh who am I kidding I MISS SEX ALREADY

[Toasty]

ThankMeLater, on Jul 16 2010, 04:55 AM, said:

yeah, me too.. im not like toasty.
and speak of the devil.. are you EVER gonna get laid?

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/3954/1273826800135.jpg

[Golden Legacy]

Caael, on Jul 16 2010, 05:50 PM, said:

Hey I'm going to miss her as a person and not the sexual stu- oh who am I kidding I MISS SEX ALREADY

You know Caael, I miss the sexual stuff too.

[Wild Fox]

Thanks for demeaning my profession, btw. :P

Caael: that's why they invented Skype.

[ThankMeLater]

http://www.goldensun-syndicate.net/forum/public/style_images/gssv3/snapback.png' alt='View Post' />Toasty, on Jul 16 2010, 05:51 PM, said:

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/479/cryu.gif, yeah, that's it

Wild Fox, on Jul 16 2010, 07:52 PM, said:

Caael: that's why they invented Skype.

sex over cam is some faggot shit... right nos?

[Lemontime]

time of the month is the worst fucking time of the month
qq

[Toasty]

http://www.goldensun-syndicate.net/forum/public/style_images/gssv3/snapback.png' alt='View Post' />ThankMeLater, on Jul 16 2010, 07:45 PM, said:

, yeah, that's it

Quote

ThankMeLater, on Jul 16 2010, 04:55 AM, said:

and speak of the devil.. are you EVER gonna get laid?

would love you forever if you responded with this

[insert image]

And so I did. =O

[Someone Else]

Am I the only one, at least here and besides Toasty and the rest of our females, that sees sex as extremely low priority?

[Lemontime]

Someone Else, on Jul 17 2010, 05:11 PM, said:

Am I the only one, at least here and besides Toasty and the rest of our females, that sees sex as extremely low priority?

I don't really see it as a priority at all. It's sort of just a bonus of being with someone you really love, and is sometimes a good way to show them how you feel.

[Aquamarine]

Lemontime, on Jul 17 2010, 09:16 AM, said:

I don't really see it as a priority at all. It's sort of just a bonus of being with someone you really love, and is sometimes a good way to show them how you feel.

Yeah, that's about how I feel.

... Plus if I can fuck something along the way, great.

But really now, although sex IS great, I personally do find it slightly over appreciated.

[Eugine]

Someone Else, on Jul 17 2010, 03:11 AM, said:

Am I the only one, at least here and besides Toasty and the rest of our females, that sees sex as extremely low priority?

Sex is placed toooo high on a pedestal.
I gotta admit though, having sex after smoking weed = One of the best feelings ever. It's like I last triple the time in climax. Friends tell me drunk sex is even better, but never tried it.

Might I just say -
I've been dating this girl for a month. I've known her for about three years now. I don't really want a serious relationship, and I told her upfront... but I'll just see where it goes.

[ThankMeLater]

Eugine, on Jul 17 2010, 09:41 AM, said:

I gotta admit though, having sex after smoking weed = One of the best feelings ever. It's like I last triple the time in climax. Friends tell me drunk sex is even better, but never tried it.

Sex on - don't hate.. you know who you are - e is better than both... but i can assume that's not an option. imo, drunk sex is never that great. have a few shots, or brewskies, and sure, but being really drunk just makes it sloppy.

[Eugine]

Don't think I'll go further than weed lol.
And seriously, sex after weed is great. It's like you want to have sex right after the cumshot lol. Dick takes long to get soft and the horniness just doesn't go. It's like you can still fuck while cumming.

Ah well, I'm done with the sex talk. I get a little to explicit, which I don't think is allowed here =_=

[gsninja]

I see sex as a higher priority when looking for girls only because I'm not looking for a relationship at all, just an occasional one night stand. If we're talking relationships, then yes, sex is a lower priority.

Eugine, as long as the explicit-city (Trying to make it a noun, here >.>) isn't too vivid, you're fine. ;o

[Mallick]

Someone Else, on Jul 17 2010, 12:11 AM, said:

Am I the only one, at least here and besides Toasty and the rest of our females, that sees sex as extremely low priority?

Extremely low priority? Yes. Low priority, no.

ThankMeLater, on Jul 17 2010, 09:21 AM, said:

Sex on - don't hate.. you know who you are - e is better than both... but i can assume that's not an option. imo, drunk sex is never that great. have a few shots, or brewskies, and sure, but being really drunk just makes it sloppy.

Not that I've ever done E, but isn't EVERYTHING better on E? It's an extreme upper.

[ThankMeLater]

Mike Babcock, on Jul 17 2010, 07:55 PM, said:

Not that I've ever done E, but isn't EVERYTHING better on E? It's an extreme upper.

lol, ya.

[Lightning Star]

Aquamarine, on Jul 16 2010, 06:32 AM, said:

But seeing as you don't have feelings for him, it's kind of a different situation. Congratulations Icy on ruining a 10 year old friendship because of sex.

I never said that. I just meant "not emotionally attached" in the way that there's a big difference between people who have dated for 2 months than between people who have dated for 2 days. AMIRITE?

@Some of you: I'm glad I don't have to encounter on a day-to-day basis. Can you keep your snarky ass-holish comments to yourself and stay on topic, please? kthx. :) (in regards to last page- earlier comments on this page)

[Caael]

It's been a day and I already genuinely miss her. I did not know I was capable of this emotion.

[Lightning Star]

...caael? has emotion? much less feelings for another human being?! IMPOSSIBLE! :)

(kidding, kidding.)

Just got back from sneaking out. Holy hell, mix the rush of adrenaline and fear of being caught with feelings of desire and lust and it's just...wow.

I have a feeling I'm not going to forget this year, HAH.

[Eugine]

You're 19. You still have to sneak out?

[Mallick]

Eugine, on Jul 21 2010, 03:53 AM, said:

You're 19. You still have to sneak out?

Parents don't change over night.

[Lemontime]

Or over years it seems..

[Wild Fox]

Mike Babcock, on Jul 21 2010, 02:40 PM, said:

Parents don't change over night.

True story. Mine still go through my things.

[Lemontime]

Wild Fox, on Jul 22 2010, 03:42 PM, said:

True story. Mine still go through my things.

lololololol

[Golden Legacy]

I recently got into a relationship with someone who I really care about and who's helped me get through some hard times the past months.

There is a bit of an unforeseen development that I had not expected however, and I feel really bad now...

[ThankMeLater]

elaborate, please, why you feel really bad. you say you really care about her, and she's helped you get through some hard times.

I know I've just pulled from my previous response, but if you feel this relationship could go somewhere, take a shot at it...

You don't wan't to be sitting there thinking you could do something better. Go for every chance you get. If someone shows that they may be open to a relationship, go for it, becasue you never know.

[Lemontime]

does she have a penis? That's a reeeeal put-off..

[ThankMeLater]

Lemontime, on Aug 13 2010, 10:05 PM, said:

does she have a penis? That's a reeeeal put-off..

oh shi-, didn;t even think about that shit. ya, if she hjas a penis gl, drop her real quick.

anywho, big bro signing off

yaowa, jooooooey, iiiiiits, that ON RTOP MMUUUUSIK, one ya self, jerz

[Golden Legacy]

Oh no, it's not to do with my girl herself... It has to do with another.

To elaborate, I just got a message from another girl (let's call her Mary) saying that it would probably be the last time she'd contact me, and said that it would be better if she cut off ties. To make a long story short, Mary is a very very good friend of mine who I appreciate and care about dearly. Though I knew that she had feelings for me, I never knew it was quite to this level... one of her friends told me that she was crying in her room all day when she found out.

I hope I am not coming across as vain, I honestly do not mean to. Mary's message also mentioned that I should have probably informed her about my growing relationship with my now-girlfriend, given her a heads-up and let her know about it. I feel so bad now, I never meant to ignore her or treat her ill and as I said, she is a very important friend to me.

So... I don't know. I obviously care very much about my girlfriend (who helped me through some tough times recently and knows more about me than even some friends who I've known for years), and am so happy to finally have made it official with her... but I do not want to lose a close friend either, and I feel quite bad about it.

[Aquamarine]

Golden Legacy, on Aug 14 2010, 10:03 AM, said:

Oh no, it's not to do with my girl herself... It has to do with another.

To elaborate, I just got a message from another girl (let's call her Mary) saying that it would probably be the last time she'd contact me, and said that it would be better if she cut off ties. To make a long story short, Mary is a very very good friend of mine who I appreciate and care about dearly. Though I knew that she had feelings for me, I never knew it was quite to this level... one of her friends told me that she was crying in her room all day when she found out.

I hope I am not coming across as vain, I honestly do not mean to. Mary's message also mentioned that I should have probably informed her about my growing relationship with my now-girlfriend, given her a heads-up and let her know about it. I feel so bad now, I never meant to ignore her or treat her ill and as I said, she is a very important friend to me.

So... I don't know. I obviously care very much about my girlfriend (who helped me through some tough times recently and knows more about me than even some friends who I've known for years), and am so happy to finally have made it official with her... but I do not want to lose a close friend either, and I feel quite bad about it.

Having been in a very similar situation, almost identical, I think I can give you some advice.

First things first, you have to understand that male-female friendships don't work out. This is something I found out the hard way. They either end up with the two of you hooking up, or with the girl backstabbing you several times, because that's simply what women do.

You and the friend will never have the same friendly relationship you used to have now that her feeling are out and in the open. I would suggest that you put way more effort into making your relationship work than trying to stay friends with the other girl. Because you never will be good friends again, while this relationship could turn out to be one of the best things to have ever happened to you.

I think that's enough from me. Everything that I've said comes from personal experience.

[Golden Legacy]

I was hoping you wouldn't say that... I was really hoping it might be possible to stay friends with Mary despite my relationship with my girlfriend. I do agree that I should not let it interfere with my relationship, but it's still something I can't help but be upset over. I told her that I really do not want to lose her as a friend, and she hasn't responded...

Thanks for the input Aqua, I appreciate it.

[Lemontime]

I think you need to tell her what you just told us. The whole "I feel so bad now, I never meant to ignore her or treat her ill and as I said, she is a very important friend to me." I think would really help her understand. I personally think male-female friendships can work just fine, and the only way for you to get back to normal with this girl is if you're completely open and honest with her. Just make sure you're not too involved with her, as your actual girlfriend will get jelluz..

[Golden Legacy]

You're right... I did message her with it and tell her all that. She hasn't responded yet, and I'm wondering whether to call or give it sometime for it to sink in.

And thanks, I'm not getting "too involved" I don't think. It's just a friend who I have to make sure understands that I care for her friendship too.

[Caael]

Calls are usually better in situations like this as they're more personal and leaving a message for somebody over the internet just makes you look like you're too scared to tell them face to face.

[Golden Legacy]

Well, I left a message on the internet because she sent me a message on the internet. It was a direct response to it.

I'll call though, you're right... that's what I was thinking, though I did think it might be hard for her to pick-up. There's one way to find out, right?

[Aquamarine]

So, how's everything going Riad? Did you give her a call?

Anyhow, just wanted to add that there was this girl that was one of my best friends I've ever had, I loved her quite literally as much as I would love a sister, and that's the kind of relationship we had. We were inseperable for 7 months, we slept 4 nights a week in the same bed, but nothing ever happened, nor did it ever cross my mind to give it a try.

Then after seven months, the two-faced, backstabbing woman of her personailty got the better of her and she disappointed me too many times to count in a very short period of time. And THEN she told me she was madly in love with me. I simply couldn't imagine myself being with a person I see as a sister so I turned her offer down. I fought for our friendship and did the best I could, but after everything there was no way we could still be that close.

Since then, I don't trust girls, finally seeing that a true, really close male-female friendship is imposible. Not to mention that she wasn't the only female friend to have let me down on numerous occasions. This with her was just the most painful. We're still friends, and I still do care about her dearly, but we barely ever hang out or talk over the phone, and I simply don't trust her or think that she is a good enough person, which are two very important things for me in a friendship.

Sorry GL, that's just the way things are.

[Golden Legacy]

I did give her a call, yes, and it was the best thing I could have done honestly. She thought I would not care enough to do so and was really surprised when I did.

At first it was confrontational ("why are you calling me? what do you want from me?"), and it was difficult to try and sort through everything that needed to be said. I conceded that it was wrong of me to leave her (and others) unaware and that I should have been mindful of it, though I never intended any harm. When I told her that I cared about her and would be devastated if I lost her, she started to cry and couldn't contain herself, and she started to say about how she had really put her heart into hoping that something could develop between us. (I was incredibly stupid, in retrospect, not to pick up on her signs and know that.)

Where we stand now is difficult to say. She said that she was about ready to cut me off from everything, until I called and surprised her. Things won't be like before, she said she won't put as much energy into contacting and talking with me anymore, but that she didn't want to lose me either, despite the fact she tried to change and remove her feelings towards me.

tl;dr We're still friends... but it won't be like before, and she will need sometime to recover from it. Aqua, I still do hope against hope that a male-female friendship can still occur here, but you're right, it's not going to be the same as before (at least until the scar heals, as she put it).

[gsninja]

At least you called her. If you're willing to go through a relationship that'll never be as close, then good for you. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, though. I'll still hope that you can get through everything ok.

I do have to agree with Aqua (Sorry for being another downer :)). Back when I could trust people that weren't my family, one of my closest friends was a girl. Our relationship didn't fall apart due to love interest, though, mainly the fact that she expected me to solve every single one of her problems. In the end, she made herself look completely helpess, constantly getting herself involved with endless drama and putting me through so much stupid shit that I eventually pulled her aside one day and told her that nothing was ever going to work out. Haven't seen or talked to her since.

Friendships with girls absolutely do not work if they're too close. Sorry for adding another depressing twist on this, but you gotta be aware of it.

[Eugine]

Golden Legacy, on Aug 15 2010, 02:11 PM, said:

Multiple GL POSTS

W00t. PIMP PIMP.
Ever tried juggling two girls at the sametime? LOL.
Just joshing.

Anyway, I say put more effort into your relationship than your friendship with cry cry baby friend. Btw, I clicked your new chick profile on Facebook, but she barred non-friends from viewing her photos. Damn.

[Golden Legacy]

gsninja, on Aug 15 2010, 03:18 PM, said:

At least you called her. If you're willing to go through a relationship that'll never be as close, then good for you. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, though. I'll still hope that you can get through everything ok.

I do have to agree with Aqua (Sorry for being another downer :)). Back when I could trust people that weren't my family, one of my closest friends was a girl. Our relationship didn't fall apart due to love interest, though, mainly the fact that she expected me to solve every single one of her problems. In the end, she made herself look completely helpess, constantly getting herself involved with endless drama and putting me through so much stupid shit that I eventually pulled her aside one day and told her that nothing was ever going to work out. Haven't seen or talked to her since.

Friendships with girls absolutely do not work if they're too close. Sorry for adding another depressing twist on this, but you gotta be aware of it.

That's fair enough... thanks for sharing that. I'm starting to see that if it's too close a friendship with a girl, it can be very tricky. It seems inevitable that one will fall for the other, or that you'll have certain emotions/expectations for one another that can't be fulfilled.

Eugine, on Aug 15 2010, 04:17 PM, said:

W00t. PIMP PIMP.
Ever tried juggling two girls at the sametime? LOL.
Just joshing.

I think there's a story here you want to tell us, Eugine.

Quote

Anyway, I say put more effort into your relationship than your friendship with cry cry baby friend. Btw, I clicked your new chick profile on Facebook, but she barred non-friends from viewing her photos. Damn.

... I like your brutal honesty.

[Someone Else]

Wow, good advice, guys. I would've said the same thing since I've had a similar experience. From my experience it can be possible to have a very good, long lasting platonic friendship with a chick, but the chick needs to be basically a dude anyway. Just throwing in my two cents.

[gsninja]

Golden Legacy, on Aug 15 2010, 02:47 PM, said:

That's fair enough... thanks for sharing that. I'm starting to see that if it's too close a friendship with a girl, it can be very tricky. It seems inevitable that one will fall for the other, or that you'll have certain emotions/expectations for one another that can't be fulfilled.

Exactly. Still, it's not like you can blame yourself when/if you get into that situation...sometimes, these friendships inevitably head down that road, without you ever realizing it.

[ThankMeLater]

aren't you guys so grateful i didn't come in here and give my 2¢?

[Toasty]

Something like that. :P

Anyway, it's good to hear that you're not the kind of person that would turn away from difficult problems, GL. It's even better to hear that everything worked out okay.


In other news, nothing has developed between me and the girl I've pretty much been madly in love with for forever, though that hasn't seemed to bother me very much as of late.
Her and a good friend of mine (who I've had discussions with about this issue) have been pretty good friends for a while now though, but she denies the idea of any romantic attachment between them. While I'm inclined to believe her, I'm not entirely sure that things will stay as they are in the future. However, I have to say that my friend is better fit to be her boyfriend than I am, but that's assuming any romantic feelings ever develop between the two. If that does happen, I have to admit I'd be pretty devastated, but I'd rather see her happy. And besides, I know he's a good guy who will treat her well, and knowing that she had someone like that would set my mind at ease.

It's the other guys who she knows, and I know little about, that worry me.


But, in a slightly unsurprising and totally unrelated note, I have some reason to believe that one, two, or possibly all three of the female Japanese students have fallen for me. But it's very little reason, and while I find all three of them cute, they're 15 (a little too young for me, honestly), and the chances of us seeing each other again after this Thursday is astronomically slim.

But gosh darn it they're so cute. :D

[ThankMeLater]

Toasty, on Aug 16 2010, 12:04 AM, said:

But gosh darn it they're so cute. :D

Think about the repercussions before you do anything drastic, Toasty...

[Toasty]

I think we've been over this Skidz.

What you're thinking about is Not. Gonna. Happen.

[Caael]

5 Days till gf is back :)

[Aquamarine]

Toasty, on Aug 16 2010, 08:04 AM, said:

But gosh darn it they're so cute. :D

You said they're cute?! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!!

[I'm Always BROKE]

You know, language barriers kind of suck in relationships.

[ThankMeLater]

Toasty, on Aug 16 2010, 02:28 AM, said:

I think we've been over this Skidz.

What you're thinking about is Not. Gonna. Happen.

You keep saying that, and we keep continuing to not believe you.

[Lemontime]

Diddy Kong, on Aug 16 2010, 10:51 PM, said:

You know, language barriers kind of suck in relationships.

I think "Can I stick it in" is pretty universal.

[Wild Fox]

I think its possible to be friends with the opposite sex so long as it remains platonic. The minute romantic feelings develop that are not reciprocated, things get complicated. One person gets awkward...pulls away...then the other person feels awkward....eh. I have a male friend who I hooked up with a few times and we're still friends. Yeah, I get a teeny bit irritated when I see him with another girl and I'm sure he's not the biggest fan of my bf but its not that big of a detriment. I think had we gotten more involved than we did, no way would a friendship be possible.

GL, I think you did the right thing by calling her. If I was in her position, I would feel much better having the guy call and explain the situation. In your defense however, how were you supposed to know she had such strong feelings for you if she never told you? Unless she said "I'm madly in love with you, put a baby in my belly" how were you supposed to know? I'm willing to guess she made it sound like "tee hee I think you're cute and I like you." Plus, its not like she was your girlfriend and you dumped her for this new girl. I think her never wanting to contact you again was a slight overreaction. From one crazy beeyotch to another. :)

Toasty, MUST I invoke the bro code again? If your buddy knows you like this girl he probably won't make a move. But good for you for being mature about the whole situation! It sounds like you really have sincere feelings for her and she's a moron for not seeing what a good person you are.

[ThankMeLater]

Lemontime, on Aug 16 2010, 03:35 PM, said:

I think "Can I stick it in" is pretty universal.

rofl, kevin smith was doing a q&a in london (ugh, britfags) and some chick said her favourite expression for sex was "would you like a portion?"

[Lemontime]

Also protip for toasty re: girl his friend fancies and he likes too.

just tell her and smack your friend up. not too complicated and will make you far more confident in the end.

[Toasty]

That would be stupid, because then I'd look like a total douche, for lack of a better term.

Diddy Kong, on Aug 16 2010, 05:51 AM, said:

You know, language barriers kind of suck in relationships.

I know quite a bit of japanese already, and I have few problems communicating with them. Besides, Japanese is actually a really easy language to learn.

But that's besides the point. I can't see a relationship going anywhere with any of them, so I'm really not that interested in even trying.

Aquamarine, on Aug 16 2010, 05:34 AM, said:

You said they're cute?! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!!

:(

And skidz, seriously, not gonna happen.

[I'm Always BROKE]

Toasty, on Aug 18 2010, 09:35 AM, said:

That would be stupid, because then I'd look like a total douche, for lack of a better term.
I know quite a bit of japanese already, and I have few problems communicating with them. Besides, Japanese is actually a really easy language to learn.

Heh, was talking about my own situation actually. :) But good anyway. Learning different languages is good.

Might book a ticket to Denmark later this year to visit a certain birthday. :ph34r: Problem is money, I'm broke as fuck.

[Toasty]

So it's official. One of them was in love with me. They left yesterday, and the one that liked me gave a gift to everyone. Inside the little package was a keychain and a note, and the note ended up being a short love letter. She gave me her e-mail though.

*shrug*

[Caael]

1 more day 1 more day 1 more day

[Aquamarine]

Toasty, on Aug 20 2010, 02:27 AM, said:

So it's official. One of them was in love with me. They left yesterday, and the one that liked me gave a gift to everyone. Inside the little package was a keychain and a note, and the note ended up being a short love letter. She gave me her e-mail though.

*shrug*

What did this love letter say?

[ThankMeLater]

Toasty, on Aug 19 2010, 06:27 PM, said:

So it's official. One of them was in love with me. They left yesterday, and the one that liked me gave a gift to everyone. Inside the little package was a keychain and a note, and the note ended up being a short love letter. She gave me her e-mail though.

*shrug*

so i don't know the situation at all, but how long has said girl been infatuated with you?

[Lemontime]

Girl is obviously insane. Toasty be warned.

[ThankMeLater]

gonna read the whole situation and report back. methinks there's some fuckery going on.

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gifhttp://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9543/cryq.gif

oh toasty...

you say you love this girl in your first post about the situation, but you're still not even sure which girl to go after, on top of the fact that you aren't even dating the girl you "love"? fuck outta here. this is why you don't start getting into relationships at 17 (18?): you start thinking every little crush is a marriage waiting to happen. and the fact that you weren't willing to actually take a legitimate shot at either girl, should show you you can't have this preconceived notion about what relationships are. they don't always have to be perfect. they don't always have to be about love, or marriage. that's the fucking point. you date people to find the perfect girl for you. how are you going to know that the girl you end up marrying is the one, if she's the only point of comparison you have. and what if the girl you should end up with doesn't seem perfect at the start; from what i know of you, and have seen whenever the subject of dating has been brought up, you're going to cast her aside because "it'll be a waste of time". or she is the one for you, but you've been together for a year and a half, and she wants to have sex, and you refuse, and that ends it because she thinks you don't really love her or something. and don't say "if all she wants is sex then its not meant to be,", because - and this is the point you've been missing ever i've "known" you - sex, in this day and age (remember, things in the bible change as society changes (eating meat on a friday used to be a hell-worthy trespass)), can be an act of love. until you realise that - and realise that it's not always about what you want, or how you view the relationship needs to go - then, hate to to be harsh about it but, you're fucked.

































pause.

[Caael]

15 yr old Jap girl got the hawts for Toasty before going back to Japan.

[I'm Always BROKE]

A ticket to Japan is pretty expensive also.. >_> Now wat do?

Not that I'm in a better situation myself. :(

[ThankMeLater]

Caael, on Aug 20 2010, 10:34 AM, said:

15 yr old Jap girl got the hawts for Toasty before going back to Japan.

Late; i got the edit with the quickness.

now keep it 100... you catching the bouquet at a wedding, right?

[Toasty]

ThankMeLater, on Aug 20 2010, 08:43 AM, said:

oh toasty...

you say you love this girl in your first post about the situation, but you're still not even sure which girl to go after, on top of the fact that you aren't even dating the girl you "love"? fuck outta here. this is why you don't start getting into relationships at 17 (18?): you start thinking every little crush is a marriage waiting to happen. and the fact that you weren't willing to actually take a legitimate shot at either girl, should show you you can't have this preconceived notion about what relationships are. they don't always have to be perfect. they don't always have to be about love, or marriage. that's the fucking point. you date people to find the perfect girl for you. how are you going to know that the girl you end up marrying is the one, if she's the only point of comparison you have. and what if the girl you should end up with doesn't seem perfect at the start; from what i know of you, and have seen whenever the subject of dating has been brought up, you're going to cast her aside because "it'll be a waste of time". or she is the one for you, but you've been together for a year and a half, and she wants to have sex, and you refuse, and that ends it because she thinks you don't really love her or something. and don't say "if all she wants is sex then its not meant to be,", because - and this is the point you've been missing ever i've "known" you - sex, in this day and age (remember, things in the bible change as society changes (eating meat on a friday used to be a hell-worthy trespass)), can be an act of love. until you realise that - and realise that it's not always about what you want, or how you view the relationship needs to go - then, hate to to be harsh about it but, you're fucked.
pause.

Please state where I said I fell in love with this Japanese girl. She's cute, I'll admit, but I'm not interested.


As our differing opinions on relationships, yours stems from a secular viewpoint, and mine stems from a religious one. Let me put this in simple terms: I trust that if I have faith in God, I'll die with a smile on my face some day. Whether I'm married or not doesn't really matter.

Besides that, I know that if I got into a relationship right now, it'd just end quickly and on bad terms. I've got a bad habit of projecting the image of the perfect girlfriend/wife on whoever seems to catch my eye.

That said, I figured out quite some time ago what my problem is, and I've been able to pretty much get rid of it. Even so, I'm still attracted to that same girl, and I still have yet to put my finger on exactly why I can't get her out of mind. I simply don't have a specific reason for why I love her.



Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I'm pretty sure this Japanese girl is in love with me, but I'm the kind of guy who hates making girls cry. The problem is that I don't know how to let her down gently.


@Aqua: It said:

"♥Dear Daniel♥
Hello!! I'm very happy to come to Moses Lake. Thank you for everything. We are forever best friends. Good to see you. I had a very good time. I'd love to come to Moses Lake again someday. I look forward to seeing you again!!
I love you...
Thank you very much.
Love, [name]"

Though she also spent a lot of time around me when she had the chance, and she was quite friendly with me. She didn't start acting differently until she got to Moses Lake, though (a week after us American students got back from Japan).

Also, to my knowledge, none of the other US students got a note with their key chains (she gave all five of us key chains in a little package before they left).

[Ironsight]

Toasty, on Aug 20 2010, 09:43 PM, said:

"♥Dear Daniel♥
Hello!! I'm very happy to come to Moses Lake. Thank you for everything. We are forever best friends. Good to see you. I had a very good time. I'd love to come to Moses Lake again someday. I look forward to seeing you again!!
I love you...
Thank you very much.
Love, [name]"

D'aaaww.

[Zeypher]

Aha, so you admit you're aimlessly infatuated with this female!

[ThankMeLater]

Toasty, on Aug 20 2010, 10:43 PM, said:

Please state where I said I fell in love with this Japanese girl. She's cute, I'll admit, but I'm not interested.
As our differing opinions on relationships, yours stems from a secular viewpoint, and mine stems from a religious one. Let me put this in simple terms: I trust that if I have faith in God, I'll die with a smile on my face some day. Whether I'm married or not doesn't really matter.

Besides that, I know that if I got into a relationship right now, it'd just end quickly and on bad terms. I've got a bad habit of projecting the image of the perfect girlfriend/wife on whoever seems to catch my eye.

That said, I figured out quite some time ago what my problem is, and I've been able to pretty much get rid of it. Even so, I'm still attracted to that same girl, and I still have yet to put my finger on exactly why I can't get her out of mind. I simply don't have a specific reason for why I love her.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I'm pretty sure this Japanese girl is in love with me, but I'm the kind of guy who hates making girls cry. The problem is that I don't know how to let her down gently.

Toasty, on May 23 2010, 03:37 PM, said:

Girl B pestered me continuously for days until I finally confirmed her suspicion that I was in love with Girl A.

I didn't say you said you loved the Jap chick, just the one who you weren't even dating, or sure if you WANTED to date. That's not love brah.

Why do you have to be so close minded. And ignore every point I ever have that makes you look like a fool. Eating meat on a friday used to be a hell-worth trespass, no? I'll answer for you, becasue we all know you won't answer any direct question I ever give you. YES. Is it still a hell-worthy trespass? NO. Times change. I guarantee at some point in life, if not frequently, you have eaten meat on a Friday. Times change. And in this day and age, pre-marital sex isn't what it used to be. Thousands of years ago, you were damned to hell for such an act, but I would like to see you, with a straight face, and a clean conscience, tell me that everybody in this day and age that has had pre-marital sex is going, and has gone, straight to Inferno. Nope, don't buy that for a minute.

And see, see, see, THAT'S EXACTLY IT. It'll just end quickly and on bad terms. YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. What if she (not any of the current girls, but any she) truly is the one for you, like undeniably - when you go to heaven, or hell, god, or satan will tell you that this girl and you were meant together. In my hypothetical situation, Toasty, you can't argue it -- this girl is THE ONE for you. Well you just threw away the perfect relationship, the one that would bring you happiness forever, because of that stupid fucking mentality that each and every relationship has to be touched by the hand of god himself before it can continue. Please, ignore your faith for a second. I'm not saying to argue, but ignore your faith, and think about what I just side. Really analyze it. Now, try and tell me I'm wrong, or that "no chris, everything will just work into place they way it should."

Here's a perfect joke for this situation. A mans boat begins to sink, and he's unable to swim and starts to drown. A man in a canoe paddles by and asks the sinking man if he needs help. The sinking man said "no, God will help me." The man in the canoe continued on his way. A few moments later, a man in a boat drives by and asks the drowning man if he would like some assistance. The man once again refuses, stating again that "god will save me." The man in the boat drives away. Moments later again, a helicopter flies overhead, and the pilot asks the drowning man if he would like any help. "No," the man says, "god will protect me from harm." The pilot asks again, and a third time, before finally giving up and flying away. Seconds later the man drowns and goes up to Heaven. Upon arriving, the man asks God why he never sent help to save him. God responds "I did you fucking idiot, I sent a canoe, a boat and a helicopter." God won't set up the perfect relationship for you, nor will he come down from Heaven and pick you out of a river when you're drowning with two fingers.. you have to take chances and believe that he'll guice you down the right path.

IF you don't get the above, I'm gonna slit your fucking throat.

And if you've figured out the problem, then you aren't doing a very good job at fixing it. You've been failing (for lack of a better term, really not trying to be insulting) the same way you have this whole time. And dont make me do the crying smiley at you being in love with this girl. Thats a joke dude, and you should know better. You don't know why you love her? You guys never dated? And you were on the fence if you should date her or another chick? Thats not love dude. Thats an infatuation, a crush, puppy dog love, whatever you fuck you wanna call it. But its not love. Love is when you need that person, when you cant live without them, when youd actually stand in front a bullet, so they wouldnt take it. Like fuck you think that way about this chick. And dont flatter yourself dude, I highly doubt this 15year old Jap girl who never went out on a date with you, who you never showed much of an interest in, and who youve known for 3? months, is truly in love with you. Once again, its an infatuation, nothing more. The thing here is, is that, at your age, you should be fully aware of the differance between the two, she not so much. But at 18, you should know what true love, and a high school crush are.

Pause.

[Zeypher]

Good advice from Dipsy is like the Halley's Commet. My advice to you Toasty is to take his advice.

[ThankMeLater]

damn, that turned out as a fucking essay.

and you know what zeypher, we cool.. we cool. now toasty, listen to my nigga.

edit - http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/325/crys.gifhttp://img842.imageshack.us/img842/325/crys.gifhttp://img842.imageshack.us/img842/325/crys.gifhttp://img842.imageshack.us/img842/325/crys.gifhttp://img842.imageshack.us/img842/325/crys.gifhttp://img842.imageshack.us/img842/325/crys.gif, just read that note. You're totally right though, this chick's madly in love with you. http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/4039/disgustsmiley.gif

[Caael]

I'm pretty sure the context of a 15 year old japanese girl who knows little english is different to, I dunno, a married couple. You sure she didn't just say it as..I dunno, a formality?

[Toasty]

She's actually pretty good at english. And honestly, taken out of context, I wouldn't think much of it either. But keep in mind that you guys didn't spend two weeks around her.

Anyway, @Skidz:

As it stands, I just want her (Girl A) to be happy and safe. This friend of mine is a really good guy, and I know that if she was with him, she'd be safe. Though again, as far as I know there aren't any feelings between them.

Would I like to date her? Yes. Do I think I'm the best guy for her? Not really. The last thing I want to do is to bring her down. That's why I'm unsure.

It's not about whether a relationship with a certain person would be perfect, its about whether or not that relationship will be what I'm looking for. Like I've said before, I want the girl I marry to be the only girl I ever date. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with dating a few people before marrying someone either. I just want the former instead of the latter.


If you have good judgement, and you think it'll end badly, it probably will. For as long as I can remember, I've had pretty good judgement. So far, I'm glad I've decided against dating every girl I ever thought about entering into a relationship with*. They all ended up being something other than what I expected, and not so much in a good way. I thought a relationship with them would end badly, and I later learned that I was right. All without ever dating them, mind you. You don't always have to learn from experience.

*the sole exception thus far being Girl A. Still undecided on that one, and it's because of my shortcomings, not hers.


Your hypothetical situation is irrelevant because I have the foresight to know a bad decision when it enters my head. My conscience has yet to fail me.


Basically, I don't desire to be in any relationship that I don't believe God want's me to be in. So yes, Chris, I won't date anyone unless god tells me to. Let's just leave it at that. You'll believe I'm crazy, and I won't really care, because my mentality isn't wrong and it won't change. You have no faith in God, and you seem to believe very strongly that he doesn't exist (and therefor the only faith you should have is in yourself). I believe pretty much the exact opposite of you.


And now, one last time, I'll say this again. You're misunderstanding my stance. I'm not outright denying any relationship that I might have with other girls besides Girl A. In that sense, your joke does not apply. I take the time to get to know the person at least somewhat, and consider what a relationship with that person would be like. So far I haven't found what I'm looking for.

I'm not looking for perfection, I'm just looking for the best person for me. If that means I'll die single, then so be it. But I've never been he type of person to settle for "just good enough." If I can't have the best, I don't want anything at all.

I'll also say this again, I have yet to make a decision regarding this that I've regretted, and I know for a fact I haven't passed up the person I'm looking for.


Skidz, your advice to me is that I should just go out and date as many girls as I have the opportunity to do so, because that's the best way to find my one true love. That's an utterly stupid idea in my opinion. That might be a good idea if you have no idea what you're looking for, but for me, that'd just be a stupid idea.


As for pre-marital sex, no sin is so great that it can't be forgiven. Having pre-marital sex won't necessarily send you to hell. But if you don't believe that Jesus died for your sins (and I mean really truly believe it), then you'll go to hell. It doesn't matter what sin you commit, that's where your headed (this is what my religion preaches. People are saved simply by believing in Jesus, not by doing good works or any of that stuff).

[ThankMeLater]

On IPhone so only gonna respond to one thing ATM.

You say your judgement in life hasn't failed you yet, btut you have no prior judgement when it comes to relationships. You have no knowledge as to how these relationships will play out. Even having one prior relationship might give you a bit of credit in this respect but you haven't so my point still stands. And no not every girl, but if there's a chance it could lead to the marriage you seek go for it. You seem to think you'll just KNOW who's right for you before you date, but the sad truth to that is you won't. You find that out THROUGH dating. If you keep the mentality you have you'll never find that perfect girl because you're looking for something that isn't there yet. And it won't be there until you guys date for a bit and fall in love. Let me repeat, YOU WILL NEVER be able to meet a girl and just be like, yup, she's the one, and well 100% get married.

But that's it's. That's all I want to say on the subject. You said my hypothetical situation is irrelevant because you have the foresight to know, but NOBODY, short of god himself, truely knows before. So because you threw away my best arguement, giving yourself holy godlike powers to see into th future in th process, I'm done. You can respond with more irrelvancy, and skip over every critical point I ever give all you want toasty, but I'm done. I'm content in knowing that, though they won't come out and say it, most everybody here probably agrees that - should you continue to have the mentality that you do, or should you continue to have such blind faith in your own judgement - you're going to float through life alone and unfulfilled.

Fuck it, Im done. 1 ya self

[Caael]

I agree with Chris 100% on this. Toasty you're so incredibly naiive on the subject so gl on that.

[Toasty]

I never said I had the foresight to know if it would work out. I said I had the foresight to know it wouldn't work out. My bad for not making that clear.

I've had the foresight to know that most of the girls I've been interested in would've been bad choices. There's only been a few so far that I couldn't tell. Those are the ones that I put some kind of effort into (or are doing so right now), and have yet to see any results so far.

Most of them I know are bad choices. For the rest, I can't say for sure that they'd be bad choices, so I give them a shot.


Is my point more clear now?

[Caael]

> Bad choice meaning based on morals, not experience, which never works. Before I was going out with my current gf, didn't think she was my type at all. However the more I talked to her the more I found we had in common.

You're never gonna find a girl based on an image in your mind. You will ALWAYS have to settle for less, and I'm sorry but thats the brutal truth.

[ThankMeLater]

Toasty, on Aug 21 2010, 04:32 PM, said:

I never said I had the foresight to know if it would work out. I said I had the foresight to know it wouldn't work out. My bad for not making that clear.

I've had the foresight to know that most of the girls I've been interested in would've been bad choices. There's only been a few so far that I couldn't tell. Those are the ones that I put some kind of effort into (or are doing so right now), and have yet to see any results so far.

Most of them I know are bad choices. For the rest, I can't say for sure that they'd be bad choices, so I give them a shot.
Is my point more clear now?

You're an idiot. There the same thing. There the EXACT same thing. You don't know it will work, you don't know it won't. You really don't read a thing I say, do you?

And you say you've had the foresight, but you don't, you can't see into the future. You may think you know they'll be bad choices, but you don't know. That's the point. That's the point. Get that in your fucking head before responding. YOU AREN'T GOD. YOU AREN'T A FORTUNE TELLER. You foreseeing it to be good or bad really means nothing because in the end it will play it like it will, not how you see it.

And no, you havne't given anyone a shot, you've talked to girls. You've had interactions with them, but you've never actually given any of these girls a legitimate shot. I'll repeat in bold so you can get it into your head, you may think what you're doing is actually giving it a shot, or making a choice, but it's not, you're doing what everyone does whether they're solely friends with a girl or trying to scope them out: MERELY FUCKING TALKING.

Stop acting so pretencious like you, but no one else in the world, knows exactly how any given relationship will play out.

[Caael]

You wont bring him round. He's sitting there with his hands over his ears going "LALALA THE PERFECT GIRL IS JUST ROUND THE CORNER AND I WILL KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO APPROACH MY MARRIAGE WITH HER"

[ThankMeLater]

Thank fuck, I was starting to think I was the crazy one there. But you made me realise it's just Toasty being Toasty, and this is he'll always be. Good look for you though Toasty-- you legitimately made me frustrated that you weren't understanding the extremely basic concepts I laid out for you.

here caael, have some :(.

[Matdamon]

Can see where both of you are coming from, Toasty I agree with some of your points. I too think I know when a relationship wouldn't work and so I don't pursue it but I never know for sure. I also want to marry the one girl I date but I know that is probably never gonna happen. For the sake of things jsut get out there and practise at least, you might find the one girl for you and if not you will have more experience for when she does appear so you don't lose her. God helps those who help themselves. You never know whether that one girl is the perfect one for you, if there is uncertainty its worth at least trying it out, it will be worth it if she turns out to be the one you've been looking for.

But then again I'm 16 and know nothing of relationships or love.

[Caael]

It is EXTREMELY rare that the first person you date will be the person you marry. Most people come to terms with this but Toasty's sat there being Toasty in his idealistic little world where he'll just bump into his perfect wife at bible camp or something.

[ThankMeLater]

I feel better and better about my position in this as every minute passes.

[Toasty]

Caael, on Aug 21 2010, 09:06 PM, said:

It is EXTREMELY rare that the first person you date will be the person you marry. Most people come to terms with this but Toasty's sat there being Toasty in his idealistic little world where he'll just bump into his perfect wife at bible camp or something.

I'm well aware that the odds are against me. My sister seems to be on of the lucky few (not married yet, but it's practically inevitable). Even so, that's the outcome I desire. Doesn't mean that'll happen, but I still want it.


Anyway, I realize that God helps those who help themselves, but I've been helping myself for a while now, and I think I'm being told to step back for now. So that's what I'm doing.


@Skidz: Your basic concepts don't apply, because I refuse to treat dating the same way most other people treat it. By your knowledge, I'd have to snatch up every opportunity I get to date a girl, because for all I know the person I pass up could've been the person that would've been best for me. But the way I see it, I don't have to worry about that. I don't have to worry about it because I know that I won't pass up the girl I'm meant to be with. And that's not because of any prior knowledge that I might have about what a relationship with them would be like. If I'm actually meant to marry someone, then I'll end up marrying the person who's best for me because I have faith that God will make it so.

You believe that a person has to bear the full responsibility for finding their soul mate, because no one will do it for them. I believe that if I have faith in God, he'll lead me to where I need to go. That includes leading me to the person he wants me to spend my life with, and honestly, I think he knows better than I do who would be best for me.